Accepting the Torah & Accepting Ourselves

(שמות יט, יז) ויתיצבו בתחתית ההר א"ר אבדימי בר חמא בר חסא מלמד שכפה הקב"ה עליהם את ההר כגיגית ואמר להם אם אתם מקבלים התורה מוטב ואם לאו שם תהא קבורתכם א"ר אחא בר יעקב מכאן מודעא רבה לאורייתא אמר רבא אעפ"כ הדור קבלוה בימי אחשורוש דכתיב (אסתר ט, כז) קימו וקבלו היהודים קיימו מה שקיבלו כבר אמר חזקיה מאי דכתיב (תהלים עו, ט) משמים השמעת דין ארץ יראה ושקטה אם יראה למה שקטה ואם שקטה למה יראה אלא בתחילה יראה ולבסוף שקטה ולמה יראה כדריש לקיש דאמר ריש לקיש מאי דכתיב (בראשית א, לא) ויהי ערב ויהי בקר יום הששי יקוק יתירה למה לי מלמד שהתנה הקב"ה עם מעשה בראשית ואמר להם אם ישראל מקבלים התורה אתם מתקיימין ואם לאו אני מחזיר אתכם לתוהו ובוהו:

"And they stood at the bottom of the mountain (Exodus 19:17)-" Rabbi Avdimi the son of Chama the son of Chasa said, "This teaches that the Holy One, Blessed be He, held the mountain over them like a barrel and said, 'If you accept the Torah, it is good. And if not, here shall be your graves.'" Rav Acha Bar Yaakov said, "From here there is a great claim against the Torah!" Rava said, "Even so, they accepted it again [willingly] in the days of Ahasuerus, as it is written, (Esther 9:27) 'They upheld and accepted' - they upheld what they already accepted." Hezkiah said, "Why is it written?" (Psalms 76:9) "From the heavens was heard judgement. The earth was frightened and quiet." If frightened, why quiet? If quiet, why frightened? Rather in the beginning they were frightened and in the end they were quiet. And why were they frightened? According to Resh Lakish, it is written: (Genesis 1:31) "Then it was evening and it was morning of 'the' sixth day." 'The' is extra. Why do I have it? It teaches that G-d made a condition with the act of creation and said to it, "If Israel accepts the Torah, you will exist; if not, I will return you to chaos."

(ג) אִם בְּחֻקֹּתַי תֵּלֵכוּ וְאֶת מִצְו‍ֹתַי תִּשְׁמְרוּ וַעֲשִׂיתֶם אֹתָם. (ד) וְנָתַתִּי גִשְׁמֵיכֶם בְּעִתָּם וְנָתְנָה הָאָרֶץ יְבוּלָהּ וְעֵץ הַשָּׂדֶה יִתֵּן פִּרְיוֹ. (ה) וְהִשִּׂיג לָכֶם דַּיִשׁ אֶת בָּצִיר וּבָצִיר יַשִּׂיג אֶת זָרַע וַאֲכַלְתֶּם לַחְמְכֶם לָשֹׂבַע וִישַׁבְתֶּם לָבֶטַח בְּאַרְצְכֶם. ...

(יב) וְהִתְהַלַּכְתִּי בְּתוֹכְכֶם וְהָיִיתִי לָכֶם לֵאלֹהִים וְאַתֶּם תִּהְיוּ לִי לְעָם. (יג) אֲנִי יקוק אֱלֹהֵיכֶם אֲשֶׁר הוֹצֵאתִי אֶתְכֶם מֵאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם מִהְיֹת לָהֶם עֲבָדִים וָאֶשְׁבֹּר מֹטֹת עֻלְּכֶם וָאוֹלֵךְ אֶתְכֶם קוֹמְמִיּוּת.

(יד)וְאִם לֹא תִשְׁמְעוּ לִי וְלֹא תַעֲשׂוּ אֵת כָּל הַמִּצְו‍ֹת הָאֵלֶּה. (טו) וְאִם בְּחֻקֹּתַי תִּמְאָסוּ וְאִם אֶת מִשְׁפָּטַי תִּגְעַל נַפְשְׁכֶם לְבִלְתִּי עֲשׂוֹת אֶת כָּל מִצְו‍ֹתַי לְהַפְרְכֶם אֶת בְּרִיתִי. (טז) אַף אֲנִי אֶעֱשֶׂה זֹּאת לָכֶם וְהִפְקַדְתִּי עֲלֵיכֶם בֶּהָלָה אֶת הַשַּׁחֶפֶת וְאֶת הַקַּדַּחַת מְכַלּוֹת עֵינַיִם וּמְדִיבֹת נָפֶשׁ וּזְרַעְתֶּם לָרִיק זַרְעֲכֶם וַאֲכָלֻהוּ אֹיְבֵיכֶם. (יז) וְנָתַתִּי פָנַי בָּכֶם וְנִגַּפְתֶּם לִפְנֵי אֹיְבֵיכֶם וְרָדוּ בָכֶם שֹׂנְאֵיכֶם וְנַסְתֶּם וְאֵין רֹדֵף אֶתְכֶם. (יח) וְאִם עַד אֵלֶּה לֹא תִשְׁמְעוּ לִי וְיָסַפְתִּי לְיַסְּרָה אֶתְכֶם שֶׁבַע עַל חַטֹּאתֵיכֶם. (יט) וְשָׁבַרְתִּי אֶת גְּאוֹן עֻזְּכֶם וְנָתַתִּי אֶת שְׁמֵיכֶם כַּבַּרְזֶל וְאֶת אַרְצְכֶם כַּנְּחֻשָׁה. (כ) וְתַם לָרִיק כֹּחֲכֶם וְלֹא תִתֵּן אַרְצְכֶם אֶת יְבוּלָהּ וְעֵץ הָאָרֶץ לֹא יִתֵּן פִּרְיוֹ.

(3) If ye walk in My statutes, and keep My commandments, and do them; (4) then I will give your rains in their season, and the land shall yield her produce, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit. (5) And your threshing shall reach unto the vintage, and the vintage shall reach unto the sowing time; and ye shall eat your bread until ye have enough, and dwell in your land safely. (6) And I will give peace in the land, and ye shall lie down, and none shall make you afraid; and I will cause evil beasts to cease out of the land, neither shall the sword go through your land.... (12) And I will walk among you, and will be your God, and ye shall be My people. (13) I am the LORD your God, who brought you forth out of the land of Egypt, that ye should not be their bondmen; and I have broken the bars of your yoke, and made you go upright.

(14) But if ye will not hearken unto Me, and will not do all these commandments; (15) and if ye shall reject My statutes, and if your soul abhor Mine ordinances, so that ye will not do all My commandments, but break My covenant; (16) I also will do this unto you: I will appoint terror over you, even consumption and fever, that shall make the eyes to fail, and the soul to languish; and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. (17) And I will set My face against you, and ye shall be smitten before your enemies; they that hate you shall rule over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you. (18) And if ye will not yet for these things hearken unto Me, then I will chastise you seven times more for your sins. (19) And I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your heaven as iron, and your earth as brass. (20) And your strength shall be spent in vain; for your land shall not yield her produce, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruit.

"The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. When we don't have that, we shape-shift and turn into chameleons; we hustle for the worthiness we already possess." - Brene Brown
"According to recent psychological research (by David Barlow, Steven Hayes and others) one of the main causes of many psychological problems is the habit of emotional avoidance. This may seem surprising, because the attempt to avoid negative emotions appears to be a reasonable thing.... Emotional acceptance refers to the willingness and ability to accept and experience the negative emotion, to acknowledge and absorb it... when you accept a negative emotion, it tends to lose its destructive power." - Noam Shpancer
שִׁ֥יר הַֽמַּֽעֲל֗וֹת לְדָ֫וִ֥ד יְהוָ֤ה ׀ לֹא־גָבַ֣הּ לִ֭בִּי וְלֹא־רָמ֣וּ עֵינַ֑י וְלֹֽא־הִלַּ֓כְתִּי ׀ בִּגְדֹל֖וֹת וּבְנִפְלָא֣וֹת מִמֶּֽנִּי׃
A song of ascents. Of David. O LORD, my heart is not proud nor my look haughty; I do not aspire to great things or to what is beyond me;
אִם־לֹ֤א שִׁוִּ֨יתִי ׀ וְדוֹמַ֗מְתִּי נַ֫פְשִׁ֥י כְּ֭גָמֻל עֲלֵ֣י אִמּ֑וֹ כַּגָּמֻ֖ל עָלַ֣י נַפְשִֽׁי׃
-but I have taught myself to be contented like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child am I in my mind.
יַחֵ֣ל יִ֭שְׂרָאֵל אֶל־יְהוָ֑ה מֵֽ֝עַתָּ֗ה וְעַד־עוֹלָֽם׃
O Israel, wait for the LORD now and forever.
שִׁ֗יר הַֽמַּ֫עֲל֥וֹת זְכוֹר־יְהוָ֥ה לְדָוִ֑ד אֵ֝ת כָּל־עֻנּוֹתֽוֹ׃
A song of ascents. O LORD, remember in David’s favor his extreme self-denial,
אֲשֶׁ֣ר נִ֭שְׁבַּע לַיהוָ֑ה נָ֝דַ֗ר לַאֲבִ֥יר יַעֲקֹֽב׃
how he swore to the LORD, vowed to the Mighty One of Jacob,
אִם־אֶתֵּ֣ן שְׁנַ֣ת לְעֵינָ֑י לְֽעַפְעַפַּ֥י תְּנוּמָֽה׃
I will not give sleep to my eyes, or slumber to my eyelids
עַד־אֶמְצָ֣א מָ֭קוֹם לַיהוָ֑ה מִ֝שְׁכָּנ֗וֹת לַאֲבִ֥יר יַעֲקֹֽב׃
until I find a place for the LORD, an abode for the Mighty One of Jacob.”
הִנֵּֽה־שְׁמַֽעֲנ֥וּהָ בְאֶפְרָ֑תָה מְ֝צָאנ֗וּהָ בִּשְׂדֵי־יָֽעַר׃
We heard it was in Ephrath; we came upon it in the region of Jaar.