The Urgency, Difficulty, and Inevitability of Teshuva
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תנן התם רבי אליעזר אומר שוב יום אחד לפני מיתתך
שאלו תלמידיו את רבי אליעזר וכי אדם יודע איזהו יום ימות
אמר להן וכל שכן ישוב היום שמא ימות למחר
ונמצא כל ימיו בתשובה ואף שלמה אמר בחכמתו בכל עת יהיו בגדיך לבנים ושמן על ראשך אל יחסר
Shabbat 153a (cf. Avot 2:10)
We learned there in a mishna that Rabbi Eliezer says: Repent one day before your death.
Rabbi Eliezer’s students asked him: But does a person know the day on which he will die? He said to them: All the more so this is a good piece of advice, and one should repent today lest he die tomorrow; and by following this advice one will spend his entire life in a state of repentance.
And King Solomon also said in his wisdom: “At all times your clothes should be white, and oil shall not be absent from upon your head”(Ecclesiastes 9:8), meaning that a person always needs to be prepared.
ספרי דברים ש״ז:ו׳-י״ב
(יב) ואין עול - כשאדם נפטר מן העולם באים כל מעשיו ונפרעים לפניו ואומרים לו: כך עשית ביום פלוני, ואי אתה מאמין בדברים הללו? והוא אומר הן והן! והוא אומר לו חתום, שנא' (איוב לז) ביד כל אדם יחתום:
Sifrei Devarim 307:6-13
(12) “without iniquity”:
When a person departs from the world, all of her deeds come and present themselves before her one by one, saying: “This is what you did on this and this day. Do you believe it?”
When a person departs from the world, all of her deeds come and present themselves before her one by one, saying: “This is what you did on this and this day. Do you believe it?”
She responds: "Yes, I do.”
The deed says: “Sign here!” And she signs, as it is written: “He makes the hand of every man sign.” (Job 37:7)
כָּל הַמִּתְוַדֶּה בִּדְבָרִים וְלֹא גָּמַר בְּלִבּוֹ לַעֲזֹב הֲרֵי זֶה דּוֹמֶה לְטוֹבֵל וְשֶׁרֶץ בְּיָדוֹ שֶׁאֵין הַטְּבִילָה מוֹעֶלֶת לוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּשְׁלִיךְ הַשֶּׁרֶץ.
וְכֵן הוּא אוֹמֵר "וּמוֹדֶה וְעֹזֵב יְרֻחָם". וְצָרִיךְ לִפְרֹט אֶת הַחֵטְא שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (שמות לב לא) "אָנָּא חָטָא הָעָם הַזֶּה חֲטָאָה גְדלָה וַיַּעֲשׂוּ לָהֶם אֱלֹקֵי זָהָב":
(3) Anyone who confesses verbally and does not commit in his heart to abandon [sin], this is like a person who immerses [in a purity pool] while holding an unclean creature in his hand, so that the bath is not effective until he sends away the unclean creature. And so it says, One who admits and abandons is given mercy (Proverbs 28:13). And he must specify the sin, as it says, This nation has sinned a great sin and made a golden god for themselves (Exodus 32:31).
הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע דּוֹמֶה כְּמוֹ מִי שֶׁהוֹלֵךְ וְרָץ בֵּין בְּנֵי אָדָם, וְיָדוֹ סְגוּרָה וְאֵין אָדָם יוֹדֵעַ מַה בְּתוֹכָהּ וְהוּא מְרַמֶּה בְּנֵי אָדָם וְשׁוֹאֵל לְכָל אֶחָד מָה אֲנִי אוֹחֵז?
וּלְכָל אֶחָד נִדְמֶה כְּאִלּוּ הוּא אוֹחֵז מַה שֶּׁהוּא מִתְאַוֶּה וְעַל כֵּן הַכּל רָצִים אַחֲרָיו כִּי כָּל אֶחָד סוֹבֵר שֶׁיֵּשׁ בְּיָדוֹ מַה שֶּׁהוּא חָפֵץ
וְאַחַר כָּךְ הוּא פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת יָדוֹ וְאֵין בָּה כְּלוּם
כְּמוֹ כֵן מַמָּשׁ הַיֵּצֶר הָרָע שֶׁהוּא מְרַמֶּה את כָּל הָעוֹלָם וְהַכּל רָצִים אַחֲרָיו וּמְרַמֶּה לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד עַד שֶׁנִּדְמֶה לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד כְּאִלּוּ יֵשׁ בְּיָדוֹ מַה שֶּׁהוּא חָפֵץ כָּל אֶחָד כְּפִי שְׁטוּתוֹ וְתַאֲוָתוֹ וְאַחַר כָּךְ בַּסּוֹף הוּא פּוֹתֵחַ אֶת יָדוֹ וְאֵין בָּהּ כְּלוּם כִּי אֵין מִי שֶׁיְּמַלֵּא תַּאֲוָתוֹ אֶצְלוֹ
The yetzer harah is compared to a person who weaves his way among human beings, his fist shut tight. Nobody knows what is inside his closed hand as he approaches each individual and asks, deceptively, "What am I holding?"
Each person perceives him to be holding exactly that which he or she most needs and desires. So everyone runs after him, because each one is convinced that he has the very thing they want.
Eventually, he opens his fist and there is nothing in it at all.
The yetzer harah is deceptive in this very way. It taunts us, each person with his or her own particular nonsense and desire, into thinking that it has in its closed fist the exact thing that we need. When it ultimately opens its hand, we find out that there's nothing there but an empty palm. For we can never truly fulfill such desires.
Rabbi Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz, Chazon Ish, Emunah u-Bitahon 4:5
[The yetzer hara expresses itself most fundamentally] in “allowing one’s natural life to flow along its natural course.”
(א) דִּבֵּר עִמָּנוּ כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים מֵעִנְיַן יִסּוּרֵי עוֹלָם הַזֶּה, שֶׁכָּל בְּנֵי הָעוֹלָם כֻּלָּם מְלֵאִים יִסּוּרִים, אֵין גַּם אֶחָד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ עוֹלָם הַזֶּה. וַאֲפִלּוּ הָעֲשִׁירִים הַגְּדוֹלִים וַאֲפִלּוּ הַשָּׂרִים, אֵין לָהֶם שׁוּם עוֹלָם הַזֶּה כְּלָל, כִּי כָל יְמֵיהֶם כַּעַס וּמַכְאוֹבוֹת, וְכֻלָּם מְלֵאִים טְרָדוֹת וּדְאָגוֹת וְעַצְבוּת וְיָגוֹן וַאֲנָחָה תָּמִיד, וְכָל אֶחָד יֵשׁ לוֹ יִסּוּרִים מְיֻחָדִים, וְאֵין גַּם אֶחָד מִכָּל הַגְּבִירִים וְהַשָּׂרִים, שֶׁיִּהְיֶה לוֹ הַכֹּל כְּסֵדֶר כִּרְצוֹנוֹ תָּמִיד, וְכֻלָּם כְּאֶחָד מְלֵאִים יִסּוּרִים וּדְאָגוֹת תָּמִיד, וְזֶה בָּרוּר וְיָדוּעַ לְכָל מִי שֶׁבָּקִי קְצָת בָּהֶם וּבְדַרְכֵיהֶם.
(ג) וְזֶה כּוֹלֵל כָּל בְּנֵי־אָדָם שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מִקָּטֹן וְעַד גָּדוֹל, כִּי כֻלָּם נוֹלְדוּ לְעָמָל וּמְלֵאִים רֹגֶז וְיִסּוּרִין, וְאֵין שׁוּם עֵצָה וְתַחְבּוּלָה לְהִנָּצֵל מֵעָמָל וְיָגוֹן הַזֶּה כִּי־אִם לִבְרֹחַ לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ וְלַעֲסֹק בַּתּוֹרָה.
(ד) עַל־כֵּן הֶחָכָם עֵינָיו בְּרֹאשׁוֹ – שֶׁיַּהֲפֹךְ הֶעָמָל לְעָמָל שֶׁל תּוֹרָה, אֲשֶׁר בִּשְׁבִיל זֶה נוֹלָד שֶׁיַּעֲמֹל בַּתּוֹרָה, וְאָז אַשְׁרֵי לוֹ, כִּי נִצּוֹל מֵעֲמַל הָעוֹלָם הַזֶּה וְזוֹכֶה לְחַיֵּי עוֹלָם הַבָּא:
(1) Rebbe Nachman spoke with us a number of times about the pain of this world (olam hazeh), that absolutely everyone in the world is plagued by suffering. There is not a one who has Olam HaZeh. Even the very wealthy and the privileged have no Olam HaZeh at all, because all their days are frustration and grief. They are all full of troubles, worries, misery, sadness and aggravation—always! Each one with his particular woes. And so, of all the rich and the privileged there is not a one for whom everything is always in order and as he would have it. They are all as one constantly full of suffering and worry. This is clear and known to anyone who is somewhat familiar with them and their ways.
(3) This includes every human being in the world, from the smallest to the greatest, because all are born to toil and so are full of anxiety and suffering. Nor is there any advice or ploy through which to be spared from this toil and sadness, except by fleeing to God and being occupied with Torah.
(4) And so, “a wise man has his eyes ahead of him” (Ecclesiastes 2:14). He turns the toil into the toil of Torah, which is the reason he was born—to toil in Torah. Then, fortunate is he, because he is spared the toil of this world and merits life in the World to Come.
והתניא אמרו עליו על ר"א בן דורדיא שלא הניח זונה אחת בעולם שלא בא עליה פעם אחת שמע שיש זונה אחת בכרכי הים והיתה נוטלת כיס דינרין בשכרה נטל כיס דינרין והלך ועבר עליה שבעה נהרות בשעת הרגל דבר הפיחה אמרה כשם שהפיחה זו אינה חוזרת למקומה כך אלעזר בן דורדיא אין מקבלין אותו בתשובה
הלך וישב בין שני הרים וגבעות אמר
הרים וגבעות בקשו עלי רחמים אמרו לו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו שנאמר (ישעיהו נד, י) כי ההרים ימושו והגבעות תמוטינה
אמר שמים וארץ בקשו עלי רחמים אמרו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו שנאמר (ישעיהו נא, ו) כי שמים כעשן נמלחו והארץ כבגד תבלה
אמר חמה ולבנה בקשו עלי רחמים אמרו לו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו שנאמר (ישעיהו כד, כג) וחפרה הלבנה ובושה החמה
אמר כוכבים ומזלות בקשו עלי רחמים אמרו לו עד שאנו מבקשים עליך נבקש על עצמנו שנאמר (ישעיהו לד, ד) ונמקו כל צבא השמים
אמר אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי הניח ראשו בין ברכיו וגעה בבכיה עד שיצתה נשמתו
יצתה בת קול ואמרה ר"א בן דורדיא מזומן לחיי העולם הבא
בכה רבי ואמר יש קונה עולמו בכמה שנים ויש קונה עולמו בשעה אחת
ואמר רבי לא דיין לבעלי תשובה שמקבלין אותן אלא שקורין אותן רבי
But isn’t it taught in a baraita: They said about Rabbi Elazar ben Durdayya that he was so promiscuous that he did not leave one prostitute in the world with whom he did not engage in sexual intercourse. Once, he heard that there was one prostitute in one of the cities overseas who would take a purse full of dinars as her payment. He took a purse full of dinars and went and crossed seven rivers to reach her. When they were engaged in the matters to which they were accustomed, a euphemism for intercourse, she passed wind and said: Just as this passed wind will not return to its place, so too Elazar ben Durdayya will not be accepted in repentance, even if he were to try to repent.
This statement deeply shocked Elazar ben Durdayya, and he went and sat between two mountains and hills and said:
Mountains and hills, pray for mercy on my behalf, so that my repentance will be accepted. They said to him: Before we pray for mercy on your behalf, we must pray for mercy on our own behalf, as it is stated: “For the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed” (Isaiah 54:10).
He said: Heaven and earth, pray for mercy on my behalf. They said to him: Before we pray for mercy on your behalf, we must pray for mercy on our own behalf, as it is stated: “For the heavens shall vanish away like smoke, and the earth shall wax old like a garment” (Isaiah 51:6).
He said: Sun and moon, pray for mercy on my behalf. They said to him: Before we pray for mercy on your behalf, we must pray for mercy on our own behalf, as it is stated: “Then the moon shall be confounded, and the sun ashamed” (Isaiah 24:23).
He said: Stars and constellations, pray for mercy on my behalf. They said to him: Before we pray for mercy on your behalf, we must pray for mercy on our own behalf, as it is stated: “And all the hosts of heaven shall molder away” (Isaiah 34:4).
Elazar ben Durdayya said: Clearly the matter depends on nothing other than myself. He placed his head between his knees and cried loudly until his soul left his body.
A Divine Voice emerged and said: Rabbi Elazar ben Durdayya is destined for life in the World-to-Come.
When Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi heard this story of Elazar ben Durdayya, he wept and said: There is one who acquires his share in the World-to-Come only after many years of toil, and there is one who acquires his share in the World-to-Come in one moment. And Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi further says: Not only are penitents accepted, but they are even called: Rabbi, as the Divine Voice referred to Elazar ben Durdayya as Rabbi Elazar ben Durdayya.
From Rabbi Mordechai of Lekhovitz, Torat Avot
"Turn back to Me and I will turn back to you" (Mal. 3:7). Understand this verse by way of a parable: The king's daughter was taken captive by thieves and stolen far away from the palace. She despaired -- if she were to try to return, her footsteps being so small and the distance so great, when would she ever arrive home to her father?
So the king sent a message: I, too, wait for your return. But as long as you do not begin to return, I will not come any nearer to you. However, if you begin to return with your tiny steps, I will do the same in response, and I will draw nearer with my great power and long steps -- and we will very quickly be reunited. That is the sense of our verse: "Turn back to Me" -- even with your limited capacities, "and I will turn back to you" -- with great compassion.
והא תניא שבעה דברים נבראו קודם שנברא העולם ואלו הן תורה ותשובה וגן עדן וגיהנם וכסא הכבוד ובית המקדש ושמו של משיח
תשובה דכתיב בטרם הרים ילדו וכתיב תשב אנוש עד דכא ותאמר שובו בני אדם
Repentance was created before the world was created, as it is written: “Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God,” and it is written immediately afterward: “You return man to contrition; and You say: Repent, children of man” (Psalms 90:2–3).
Rabbi Abraham Isaac Ha-Kohen Kook, Orot Ha-Teshuva 6:2, p. 40-41
Teshuva constantly dwells in the heart. Even in the midst of sin, teshuva is concealed in the soul of the sinner. Teshuva sends out its influence, which only becomes revealed afterward at the time when one is internally called to repent.
Teshuva dwells in the depths of material existence because repentance was created before the creation of the world. Thus, repentance is already prepared to act before the birth of sin. Therefore, nothing in this world is as sure or secure as teshuva -- that in the end, all things will be rectified.