Hospitality to Guests

One of the most detailed accounts of Avraham’s life in the Torah describes his dedication to the mitzvah of hospitality to strangers. This class will discuss the importance of hospitality and explain how one who performs it emulates the qualities of God Himself. By looking closely at Avraham’s conduct, we will see the ideal way to perform this mitzvah – which includes greeting the guests, letting them wash and rest, making them feel comfortable, giving them food and drink, and escorting them on their way. Finally, we will examine the spiritual reward for this mitzvah.

The Torah ascribes great importance to the mitzvah of hospitality to guests (hachnasat orchim). One of the most detailed accounts of Avraham’s (Abraham’s) life in the Torah describes his dedication to the mitzvah of hospitality to strangers. It is as if the Torah is stressing that the characteristic which made Avraham so uniquely worthy to be the spiritual father of all mankind was how he exerted himself in this mitzvah.
This class will discuss the importance of hospitality and explain how one who performs it emulates the qualities of God Himself. By looking closely at Avraham’s conduct, we will see the ideal way to perform this mitzvah – which includes greeting the guests, letting them wash and rest, making them feel comfortable, giving them food and drink, and escorting them on their way. Finally, we will examine the spiritual reward for this mitzvah.

In this class, we will address the following questions:

Why is hospitality to guests and strangers so central to Judaism?
What is the basis and origin of the mitzvah of hospitality?
What actions and attitudes are included within the mitzvah of hospitality?
What are the spiritual and mystical impacts of this mitzvah?

Class Outline:
Section I. Why Hospitality is So Central to Jewish Life
Section II. The Special Magnitude of the Mitzvah of Hospitality to Guests
Section III. The Principles and Details of Hosting Guests
Part A. Searching for Guests and Welcoming Them
Part B. Providing Rest and Washing Facilities
Part C. Personally Serving the Guests
Part D. Serving Food Cheerfully and Sensitively
Part E. Providing Sleeping Facilities
Part F. Escorting Guests on Their Way
Part G. How Far Must One Escort One’s Guests?
Section IV. Educating One’s Children to Extend Hospitality
Section V. The Reward for Hospitality and Escorting Guests

Section I. Why Hospitality is So Central to Jewish Life
As an introduction to Judaism’s attitude to hospitality, imagine the following scene:
Our friend Dave has traveled to the East in search of enlightenment. He has spent many years training in Vipassana meditation from Tibetan masters. Now, by the instruction of his teachers, he will go into the mountains with food and water to begin a five-day solo meditation retreat. His goal is to reach a complete transcendence of the body.
All is going well, until day four, when the silence is rudely interrupted. It is our other friend Josh, who has traveled to the East in search of adventure. But unfortunately his adventure has gotten out of hand – Josh misplaced his Tibetan Mountains map on his five-day solo hike. He’s lost and has almost run out of food and water.
Exhausted and hungry, but ecstatic to bump into another human, Josh shatters Dave’s pristine meditative silence with, “Um, do you have, like, uh, have a Snicker’s bar or something? Like, like, yeah.”
Dave thinks to himself, “A Snicker’s Bar!! Can’t he see I’m meditating?! I’m about to achieve transcendence and he wants a Snicker’s Bar?!”
Is Dave right? Or, maybe Dave should really invite Josh for lunch. On the other hand, maybe Josh shouldn’t be interrupting Dave in the first place.
The verse “You should love your fellow as yourself” (Vayikra/Leviticus 19:18) obligates a person to perform acts of kindness (Rambam/Maimonides, Hilchot Aveil/Laws of Mourning 14:1). Although there are many different ways in which people can help one another (see Morasha class Love Your Neighbor as Yourself), the Sages enumerated a number of these as specific mitzvot. Two of them are: (1) providing hospitality to guests, and (2) escorting them upon their departure.
This form of “loving one’s fellow” – by being hospitable to guests – was fulfilled in an exemplary fashion by the spiritual giants and founders of ethical monotheism, Avraham and Sarah:

בראשית י״ח:א׳-ח׳

(א) וַיֵּרָ֤א אֵלָיו֙ יקוק בְּאֵלֹנֵ֖י מַמְרֵ֑א וְה֛וּא יֹשֵׁ֥ב פֶּֽתַח־הָאֹ֖הֶל כְּחֹ֥ם הַיּֽוֹם׃ (ב) וַיִּשָּׂ֤א עֵינָיו֙ וַיַּ֔רְא וְהִנֵּה֙ שְׁלֹשָׁ֣ה אֲנָשִׁ֔ים נִצָּבִ֖ים עָלָ֑יו וַיַּ֗רְא וַיָּ֤רָץ לִקְרָאתָם֙ מִפֶּ֣תַח הָאֹ֔הֶל וַיִּשְׁתַּ֖חוּ אָֽרְצָה׃ (ג) וַיֹּאמַ֑ר אדושם אִם־נָ֨א מָצָ֤אתִי חֵן֙ בְּעֵינֶ֔יךָ אַל־נָ֥א תַעֲבֹ֖ר מֵעַ֥ל עַבְדֶּֽךָ׃ (ד) יֻקַּֽח־נָ֣א מְעַט־מַ֔יִם וְרַחֲצ֖וּ רַגְלֵיכֶ֑ם וְהִֽשָּׁעֲנ֖וּ תַּ֥חַת הָעֵֽץ׃ (ה) וְאֶקְחָ֨ה פַת־לֶ֜חֶם וְסַעֲד֤וּ לִבְּכֶם֙ אַחַ֣ר תַּעֲבֹ֔רוּ כִּֽי־עַל־כֵּ֥ן עֲבַרְתֶּ֖ם עַֽל־עַבְדְּכֶ֑ם וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ כֵּ֥ן תַּעֲשֶׂ֖ה כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר דִּבַּֽרְתָּ׃ (ו) וַיְמַהֵ֧ר אַבְרָהָ֛ם הָאֹ֖הֱלָה אֶל־שָׂרָ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר מַהֲרִ֞י שְׁלֹ֤שׁ סְאִים֙ קֶ֣מַח סֹ֔לֶת ל֖וּשִׁי וַעֲשִׂ֥י עֻגֽוֹת׃ (ז) וְאֶל־הַבָּקָ֖ר רָ֣ץ אַבְרָהָ֑ם וַיִּקַּ֨ח בֶּן־בָּקָ֜ר רַ֤ךְ וָטוֹב֙ וַיִּתֵּ֣ן אֶל־הַנַּ֔עַר וַיְמַהֵ֖ר לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת אֹתֽוֹ׃ (ח) וַיִּקַּ֨ח חֶמְאָ֜ה וְחָלָ֗ב וּבֶן־הַבָּקָר֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָשָׂ֔ה וַיִּתֵּ֖ן לִפְנֵיהֶ֑ם וְהֽוּא־עֹמֵ֧ד עֲלֵיהֶ֛ם תַּ֥חַת הָעֵ֖ץ וַיֹּאכֵֽלוּ׃

Genesis 18:1-8

(1) The LORD appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot. (2) Looking up, he saw three men standing near him. As soon as he saw them, he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them and, bowing to the ground, (3) he said, “My lords, if it please you, do not go on past your servant. (4) Let a little water be brought; bathe your feet and recline under the tree. (5) And let me fetch a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves; then go on—seeing that you have come your servant’s way.” They replied, “Do as you have said.” (6) Abraham hastened into the tent to Sarah, and said, “Quick, three seahs of choice flour! Knead and make cakes!” (7) Then Abraham ran to the herd, took a calf, tender and choice, and gave it to a servant-boy, who hastened to prepare it. (8) He took curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared and set these before them; and he waited on them under the tree as they ate.

רש"י על בראשית י״ח:א׳:א׳

(א) וירא אליו. לְבַקֵּר אֶת הַחוֹלֶה. אָמַר רַבִּי חָמָא בַּר חֲנִינָא, יוֹם שְׁלִישִׁי לְמִילָתוֹ הָיָה, וּבָא הַקָּבָּ"ה וְשָׁאַל בִּשְׁלוֹמוֹ (בבא מציעא פ"ו):

Rashi on Genesis 18:1:1

(1) וירא אליו AND THE LORD APPEARED UNTO HIM to visit the sick man. R. Hama the son of Hanina said: it was the third day after his circumcision and the Holy One, blessed be He, came and enquired after the state of his health (Bava Metzia 86b)

To spare Avraham the physical effort of caring for guests, God brought a heat wave so that no wayfarers were up and about that day. But Avraham longed for guests, because a tzaddik (righteous person) is never satisfied with his spiritual accomplishments. In response, God sent him three travelers, and Avraham ran to invite them and serve them personally, despite his age and illness (Rabbi Nosson Scherman, The Stone Chumash, Bereishit 18:1). Furthermore, as we shall discuss below, Avraham was talking prophetically to God when the guests arrived. Despite this Avraham asked God to wait, so to speak, while he attended to the guests! In the opening story, our friend Dave might want to consider interrupting his meditation to help Josh!
The following story illustrates the sensitivity that the Chofetz Chaim exerted in performing this mitzvah:
Once, a student traveled a long distance to eat a Friday night meal at Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan (The Chofetz Chaim, Radin, 1838-1933). The student was exhausted from his travels and the Chofetz Chaim suggested he take a nap before the evening prayers and the meal which would follow.
When the student awoke he was embarrassed to see that he had missed the Friday night service. “Don’t worry, you can daven here in the house,” said the Chofetz Chaim. He was also surprised to see that the Chofetz Chaim’s wife had gone to sleep. “She was very tired and needed to retire early,” explained the Chofetz Chaim.
So the Rabbi and the student ate together, sang a song or two, and shared words of Torah wisdom, after which the Rabbi went to sleep. As the student was preparing to get into bed, he noticed that the clock was stuck at 3 p.m. Then he realized: the clock was actually working, and he had slept all the way until 2 a.m. and finished his meal with the Chofetz Chaim at 3 a.m.!
The Chofetz Chaim had stayed up into the night and pretended that it was still early, to let the student rest and avoid any possibility of embarrassing him! (Heard from Rabbi Eli Monsour, Brooklyn; cited in The Chofetz Chaim Biography, ArtScroll).
Hosting guests not only fulfills the mitzvah to love one’s fellow as oneself (Vayikra 19:18), but also fulfills another mitzvah in the Torah:

דברים י״ג:ה׳

(ה) אַחֲרֵ֨י יקוק אֱלֹקֵיכֶ֛ם תֵּלֵ֖כוּ וְאֹת֣וֹ תִירָ֑אוּ וְאֶת־מִצְוֺתָ֤יו תִּשְׁמֹ֙רוּ֙ וּבְקֹל֣וֹ תִשְׁמָ֔עוּ וְאֹת֥וֹ תַעֲבֹ֖דוּ וּב֥וֹ תִדְבָּקֽוּן׃

Deuteronomy 13:5

(5) Follow none but the LORD your God, and revere none but Him; observe His commandments alone, and heed only His orders; worship none but Him, and hold fast to Him.

God summons man to “cleave to Him.” The Oral Torah reveals the means by which man is to achieve this:

סוטה י״ד א:ג׳-ד׳

ואמר רבי חמא ברבי חנינא מאי דכתיב (דברים יג, ה) אחרי יקוק אלקיכם תלכו וכי אפשר לו לאדם להלך אחר שכינה... אלא להלך אחר מדותיו של הקב"ה מה הוא מלביש ערומים דכתיב (בראשית ג, כא) ויעש יקוק אלקים לאדם ולאשתו כתנות עור וילבישם אף אתה הלבש ערומים הקב"ה ביקר חולים דכתיב (בראשית יח, א) וירא אליו יקוק באלוני ממרא אף אתה בקר חולים הקב"ה ניחם אבלים דכתיב (בראשית כה, יא) ויהי אחרי מות אברהם ויברך אלקים את יצחק בנו אף אתה נחם אבלים הקב"ה קבר מתים דכתיב (דברים לד, ו) ויקבר אותו בגיא אף אתה קבור מתים

Sotah 14a:3-4

And Rabbi Ḥama, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, says: What is the meaning of that which is written: “After the Lord your God shall you walk, and Him shall you fear, and His commandments shall you keep, and unto His voice shall you hearken, and Him shall you serve, and unto Him shall you cleave” (Deuteronomy 13:5)? But is it actually possible for a person to follow the Divine Presence? But hasn’t it already been stated: “For the Lord your God is a devouring fire, a jealous God” (Deuteronomy 4:24), and one cannot approach fire. He explains: Rather, the meaning is that one should follow the attributes of the Holy One, Blessed be He. He provides several examples. Just as He clothes the naked, as it is written: “And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skin, and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21), so too, should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, visits the sick, as it is written with regard to God’s appearing to Abraham following his circumcision: “And the Lord appeared unto him by the terebinths of Mamre” (Genesis 18:1), so too, should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, consoles mourners, as it is written: “And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed Isaac his son” (Genesis 25:11), so too, should you console mourners. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, buried the dead, as it is written: “And he was buried in the valley in the land of Moab” (Deuteronomy 34:6), so too, should you bury the dead.

שני לוחות הברית, תורה שבכתב, וירא, נר מצוה ד׳

(ד) ונראה בעיני פשוט, שמכל שכן מצות הכנסת אורחים שהיא בכלל מצות עשה והלכת בדרכיו נוסף על שהיא מעלה גדולה ממעלות המדות...

וזה כי הקב"ה מכניס אורחים בכל זמן ועידן בכל שעה ובכל עת ובכל רגע, כי אם לא היה מכניס אורחים ברגע כמימרא היה העולם אבד, רצוני לומר כי כל העולם אורחים הם לגבי הש"י כאורח נטה ללון כי גרים אנחנו, והוא מכניס...

Shenei Luchot HaBerit, Torah Shebikhtav, Vayera, Ner Mitzvah 4

(4) It is obvious to me that the מצוה of being hospitable to guests, (which is certainly included in the overall commandment to follow in G–d's footsteps), represents an additional virtue...

The Torah has singled out this story of Abraham personally performing chores to entertain these strangers. It also alludes to the reward accruing to him, i.e. that everything he did personally for these guests, G–d later on personally did for Abraham's descendants, whereas whatever Abraham had designated to be done by someone else, G–d also performed for the Jewish people only by means of one of His agents. You should not think that all we talk about here is merely a part of a virtue. Whoever performs such an act such as Abraham's, performs the positive commandment of emulating G–d, and he will receive the reward due to someone who has performed a מצוה which has been specifically commanded.

G–d performs acts of hospitality at all times, at every moment. Were He to desist from doing so for even a single moment the world would be lost. All creatures are His guests, we are all like strangers vis-a-vis G–d, and just as strangers we need a place to sleep. G–d enables us to survive. If He were to withdraw life-support for even a moment, we would all perish.

Mordechai Lewis