Hate and How to Do It

Sadly, our country seems to be engaged in a lot of hate. Oftentimes, people explain hating (or disliking) someone else because they feel it is justified. They explain that the other person's opinions are very bad, and therefore we dislike, or even hate them. What does the Torah say about this?
Tonight we will touch on three ethical concepts: helping another in need, caring for animals, and when/if/how it is ever appropriate to harbor hatred for another human being. Obviously, it would be impossible to do justice to all of these in one evening, so, for tonight, it would be helpful to see the first two concepts as necessary background for the issue of hatred. (Needless to say, this is not to take away from the significance and vital nature of kindness to other people nor to animals.)

שמות כ״ג:ה׳

כִּֽי־תִרְאֶ֞ה חֲמ֣וֹר שֹׂנַאֲךָ֗ רֹבֵץ֙ תַּ֣חַת מַשָּׂא֔וֹ וְחָדַלְתָּ֖ מֵעֲזֹ֣ב ל֑וֹ עָזֹ֥ב תַּעֲזֹ֖ב עִמּֽוֹ׃ (ס)

Exodus 23:5

When you see the ass of your enemy lying under its burden and would refrain from raising it, you must nevertheless raise it with him.

רש"י על שמות כ״ג:ה׳:ג׳

עזב תעזב עמו. לְפָרֵק הַמַּשָּׂא;

Rashi on Exodus 23:5:3

עזב תעזב עמו THOU SHALT SURELY HELP HIM — to unload the burden

דברים כ״ב:ד׳

לֹא־תִרְאֶה֩ אֶת־חֲמ֨וֹר אָחִ֜יךָ א֤וֹ שׁוֹרוֹ֙ נֹפְלִ֣ים בַּדֶּ֔רֶךְ וְהִתְעַלַּמְתָּ֖ מֵהֶ֑ם הָקֵ֥ם תָּקִ֖ים עִמּֽוֹ׃ (ס)

Deuteronomy 22:4

If you see your fellow’s ass or ox fallen on the road, do not ignore it; you must help him raise it.

רש"י על דברים כ״ב:ד׳:א׳

הקם תקים. זוֹ טְעִינָה – לְהַטְעִין מַשּׂאוֹי שֶׁנָּפַל מֵעָלָיו:

Rashi on Deuteronomy 22:4:1

הקם תקים THOU SHALT SURELY RAISE UP — This refers to the duty of loading — to re-load the burden that fell from it.

On the surface, these two verses seem to refer to similar requirements of kindness to another. How does Rashi differentiate between them?
Would you say that there a substantial difference between these two mitzvos?

חושן משפט ער״ב:י׳

הפוגע בשנים אחד רובץ תחת משאו וא' פרק מעליו ולא מצא מי שיטעון עמו מצוה לפרוק בתחלה משום צער בעלי חיים ואח"כ טוען בד"א כשהיו שניהם שונאים או אוהבים אבל אם היה אחד שונא ואחד אוהב מצוה לטעון עם השונא תחלה כדי לכוף את יצרו הרע:

Shulchan Arukh, Choshen Mishpat 272:10

If one simultaneously meets two animals, one which needs to be unloaded and one which needs to be loaded, and there is no one else around to help, he is commanded to unload first because of the concept of stopping pain to an animal. After he unloads, he would then load up the other animal.

This is only true when the owners of both animals are equally viewed by you; they are either both enemies or both friends. However, if the animal which needs loading belongs to someone you hate, you are commanded to load his first (before unloading the other animal which belongs to your friend), in order to combat your evil inclination (of hating).

The initial priority is for unloading over loading. Does that resonate with you, or would you have suggested a different priority (or no priority)?
The priority of action changes whether you are dealing with a friend or someone you hate. Would you say that priority is intuitive?
What do you think is the intended impact of the halachic priority?

פסחים קי״ג ב:ד׳-ה׳

אמר רבי שמואל בר רב יצחק אמר רב מותר לשנאתו שנאמר כי תראה חמור שנאך רובץ תחת משאו מאי שונא... ומי שריא למסניה והכתיב לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך אלא ... דחזיא ביה איהו דבר ערוה

Pesachim 113b:4-5

Rabbi Shmuel bar Rav Yitzḥak said that Rav said: Although one who sees another committing a sin should not testify against him by himself, he is nonetheless permitted to hate him, as it is stated: “If you see the donkey of he who hates you lying under its load” (Exodus 23:5). The Gemara clarifies this verse: What is the meaning of he who hates you mentioned in the verse? ... But is one permitted to hate a fellow Jew? But isn’t it written: “You shall not hate your brother in your heart” (Leviticus 19:17), which clearly prohibits the hatred of another Jew? ... Rather, is it not referring to a case like this, when he saw him perform a licentious matter? He is therefore permitted to hate him for his evil behavior, whereas others who are unaware of his actions may not hate him.

The Talmud here refers to a "licentious matter" as the archetypical example of a sin which is universally known to be wrong, and for which there is absolutely no possible way to judge the perpetrator favorably. Rav is saying that it is permitted to hate such a person. Others later in the Talmud go further, and say that it is a mitzvah, required, to hate such a person.
It should be noted that modern halachic authorities agree that it is extremely rare, if not impossible, to find such a situation in modern times for a variety of reasons which are beyond the scope of this discussion.

In the following commentary of Tosfos to the Talmud, I have slightly paraphrased the question for clarity. However, for the sake of accuracy, the answer is translated more literally. This will give us the opportunity to develop our own opinion about what Tosfos is saying, and how we might apply this in our own lives.

תוספות על פסחים קי״ג ב:ב׳:א׳

שראה בו דבר ערוה - ואם תאמר דבאלו מציאות (ב"מ דף לב: ושם) אמרינן אוהב לפרוק ושונא לטעון מצוה בשונא כדי לכוף את יצרו והשתא מה כפיית יצר שייך כיון דמצוה לשנאתו וי"ל כיון שהוא שונאו גם חבירו שונא אותו דכתיב (משלי כ״ז:י״ט) כמים הפנים לפנים כן לב האדם לאדם ובאין מתוך כך לידי שנאה גמורה ושייך כפיית יצר:

Tosafot on Pesachim 113b:2:1

when he saw him perform a licentious matter -Question: We say in Tractate Bava Metzia that if you have a choice between a loved one (whose animal needs) to be unloaded and a hated one (whose animal needs) to be loaded, that you should load the hated one's animal in order to help yourself overcome your hatred (lit. to overcome your evil inclination). But, what would be the purpose of overcoming your hatred if it is permitted, and even required to hate such a person?

Answer: Once you hate him, he will hate you as well, as the verse says in Proverbs: Like the reflection of a face in the water, so is the heart of man to another. From this you will come to complete hatred, and for this reason it is relevant to overcome your evil inclination.

How do you understand Tosfos's question?
What is the meaning of the quote from Proverbs? Have you ever seen it "in action"?
Tosfos uses the term "complete hatred". What does that mean, and how would you distinguish it from the form of hatred which is permitted in the situation of a "licentious act"?
Practically, can you see a use for any lesson from this Tosfos in your own life?

Rabbi Hillel Brody