Gratitude and Blessings

Benny Says Thanks

At the beginning of “Bagels from Benny”, Benny and his grandpa discuss gratitude. Grandpa’s customers thank him for the delicious bagels but Grandpa thinks that they should thank God instead. This idea is also taught by the rabbis of the Talmud in a story very similar to that in “Bagels from Benny”. In this case, it is Abraham who suggests that gratitude for the food that he served to his guests should be directed to God.

Teaching Gratitude

סוטה י׳ ב:א׳

אלא ויקריא מלמד שהקריא אברהם אבינו לשמו של הקב"ה בפה כל עובר ושב כיצד לאחר שאכלו ושתו עמדו לברכו אמר להם וכי משלי אכלתם משל אלהי עולם אכלתם הודו ושבחו וברכו למי שאמר והיה העולם

Sotah 10b:1

This teaches that Abraham our forefather caused the name of the Holy One, Blessed be He, to be called out in the mouth of all passersby. How so? After the guests of Abraham ate and drank, they arose to bless him. He said to them: But did you eat from what is mine? Rather, you ate from the food of the God of the world. Therefore, you should thank and praise and bless the One Who spoke and the world was created. In this way, Abraham caused everyone to call out to God.

The Torah also raises the idea of thanking God for providing us with food to sustain our bodies. This passage from Deuteronomy describes the beautiful and abundant land that the Israelites will be entering and then directs them to say thank you for all that they have been given.

דברים ח׳:ז׳-י׳

(ז) כִּ֚י יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ מְבִֽיאֲךָ֖ אֶל־אֶ֣רֶץ טוֹבָ֑ה אֶ֚רֶץ נַ֣חֲלֵי מָ֔יִם עֲיָנֹת֙ וּתְהֹמֹ֔ת יֹצְאִ֥ים בַּבִּקְעָ֖ה וּבָהָֽר׃ (ח) אֶ֤רֶץ חִטָּה֙ וּשְׂעֹרָ֔ה וְגֶ֥פֶן וּתְאֵנָ֖ה וְרִמּ֑וֹן אֶֽרֶץ־זֵ֥ית שֶׁ֖מֶן וּדְבָֽשׁ׃ (ט) אֶ֗רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֨ר לֹ֤א בְמִסְכֵּנֻת֙ תֹּֽאכַל־בָּ֣הּ לֶ֔חֶם לֹֽא־תֶחְסַ֥ר כֹּ֖ל בָּ֑הּ אֶ֚רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֲבָנֶ֣יהָ בַרְזֶ֔ל וּמֵהֲרָרֶ֖יהָ תַּחְצֹ֥ב נְחֹֽשֶׁת׃ (י) וְאָכַלְתָּ֖ וְשָׂבָ֑עְתָּ וּבֵֽרַכְתָּ֙ אֶת־יְהוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ עַל־הָאָ֥רֶץ הַטֹּבָ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נָֽתַן־לָֽךְ׃

Deuteronomy 8:7-10

(7) For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land with streams and springs and fountains issuing from plain and hill; (8) a land of wheat and barley, of vines, figs, and pomegranates, a land of olive trees and honey; (9) a land where you may eat food without stint, where you will lack nothing; a land whose rocks are iron and from whose hills you can mine copper. (10) When you have eaten your fill, give thanks to the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you.

Practicing Gratitude

In order to express gratitude, an entire system of berachot (blessings) over food and wondrous events is described in Jewish law. The most well-known blessing is the one said before eating bread - including bagels!

סידור אשכנז, ברכות, ברכת הנהנין, אכילה, ברכות ראשונות ב׳

על הלחם מברך:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ‑יָ אֱ‑לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם הַמּוֹצִיא לֶחֶם מִן הָאָרֶץ:

Siddur Ashkenaz, Berachot, Birkat Hanehenin, Eating, Barachot Rishonot 2

Praised are you, Lord our G-d, Ruler of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth.

There is a tradition to begin one’s day with a prayer of gratitude called Modeh Ani (I give thanks). This is often one of the first prayers that children learn. How might starting the day with words of gratitude influence the rest of your day?

סידור אשכנז, ימי חול, תפילת שחרית, הכנה לתפילה, מודה אני א׳

מוֹדֶה אֲנִי לְפָנֶֽיךָ מֶֽלֶךְ חַי וְקַיָּם שֶׁהֶחֱזַֽרְתָּ בִּי נִשְׁמָתִי בְּחֶמְלָה, רַבָּה אֱמוּנָתֶֽךָ:

Siddur Ashkenaz, Weekday, Shacharit, Preparatory Prayers, Modeh Ani 1

I give thanks to You living and everlasting King for You have restored my soul with mercy. Great is Your faithfulness.

Gratitude can also extend to the people in your child’s life. They might want to thank their friends and family, the people who help them in their community, their caregivers, and their teachers.

Gratitude has become an area of study for those who are interested in discovering what makes people happy and resilient. Researchers Joshua Brown and Joel Wong note that “many studies over the past decade have found that people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.” Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z”l summed up the benefits of recognizing the good that was done for us and acknowledging it by saying thank you when he said:

We now know of the multiple effects of developing an attitude of gratitude. It improves physical health and immunity against disease. Grateful people are more likely to take regular exercise and go for regular medical check-ups. Thankfulness reduces toxic emotions such as resentment, frustration and regret and makes depression less likely. It helps people avoid over-reacting to negative experiences by seeking revenge. It even tends to make people sleep better. It enhances self-respect, making it less likely that you will envy others for their achievements or success. Grateful people tend to have better relationships. Saying “thank you” enhances friendships and elicits better performance from employees. It is also a major factor in strengthening resilience. One study of Vietnam War Veterans found that those with higher levels of gratitude suffered lower incidence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Remembering the many things we have to be thankful for helps us survive painful experiences, from losing a job to bereavement.
Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, The Power of Gratitude

Reading and discussing "Bagels from Benny" opens the discussion with your children about gratitude. Who do they want to thank? What are some ways to express gratitutde?

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