Sibling Unrivalry: Acting Out of our Roles and Healing our Relationships
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Shareridiculous sibling relationships in the Tanach
Choose one of the above stories to read with your havruta.
Read it once, from a birds-eye perspective. Then, choose a character in the story and read it again, imagining yourself in that character's shoes. What are the feelings that come up?
How do you imagine their experience
- in relation to their sibling
- in relation to their parent?
How does this resonate with your own experience as a sibling? (The feelings! Not the crazy things that happen in the story!)
Does any of this resonate with your experience towards your parents?
Read it once, from a birds-eye perspective. Then, choose a character in the story and read it again, imagining yourself in that character's shoes. What are the feelings that come up?
How do you imagine their experience
- in relation to their sibling
- in relation to their parent?
How does this resonate with your own experience as a sibling? (The feelings! Not the crazy things that happen in the story!)
Does any of this resonate with your experience towards your parents?
(א) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶל־שְׁמוּאֵ֗ל עַד־מָתַי֙ אַתָּה֙ מִתְאַבֵּ֣ל אֶל־שָׁא֔וּל וַאֲנִ֣י מְאַסְתִּ֔יו מִמְּלֹ֖ךְ עַל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל מַלֵּ֨א קַרְנְךָ֜ שֶׁ֗מֶן וְלֵ֤ךְ אֶֽשְׁלָחֲךָ֙ אֶל־יִשַׁ֣י בֵּֽית־הַלַּחְמִ֔י כִּֽי־רָאִ֧יתִי בְּבָנָ֛יו לִ֖י מֶֽלֶךְ׃ (ב) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר שְׁמוּאֵל֙ אֵ֣יךְ אֵלֵ֔ךְ וְשָׁמַ֥ע שָׁא֖וּל וַהֲרָגָ֑נִי וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יְהֹוָ֗ה עֶגְלַ֤ת בָּקָר֙ תִּקַּ֣ח בְּיָדֶ֔ךָ וְאָ֣מַרְתָּ֔ לִזְבֹּ֥חַ לַיהֹוָ֖ה בָּֽאתִי׃ (ג) וְקָרָ֥אתָ לְיִשַׁ֖י בַּזָּ֑בַח וְאָנֹכִ֗י אוֹדִֽיעֲךָ֙ אֵ֣ת אֲשֶֽׁר־תַּעֲשֶׂ֔ה וּמָשַׁחְתָּ֣ לִ֔י אֵ֥ת אֲשֶׁר־אֹמַ֖ר אֵלֶֽיךָ׃ (ד) וַיַּ֣עַשׂ שְׁמוּאֵ֗ל אֵ֚ת אֲשֶׁ֣ר דִּבֶּ֣ר יְהֹוָ֔ה וַיָּבֹ֖א בֵּ֣ית לָ֑חֶם וַיֶּחֶרְד֞וּ זִקְנֵ֤י הָעִיר֙ לִקְרָאת֔וֹ וַיֹּ֖אמֶר שָׁלֹ֥ם בּוֹאֶֽךָ׃ (ה) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ׀ שָׁל֗וֹם לִזְבֹּ֤חַ לַֽיהֹוָה֙ בָּ֔אתִי הִֽתְקַדְּשׁ֔וּ וּבָאתֶ֥ם אִתִּ֖י בַּזָּ֑בַח וַיְקַדֵּ֤שׁ אֶת־יִשַׁי֙ וְאֶת־בָּנָ֔יו וַיִּקְרָ֥א לָהֶ֖ם לַזָּֽבַח׃ (ו) וַיְהִ֣י בְּבוֹאָ֔ם וַיַּ֖רְא אֶת־אֱלִיאָ֑ב וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אַ֛ךְ נֶ֥גֶד יְהֹוָ֖ה מְשִׁיחֽוֹ׃ {ס} (ז) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶל־שְׁמוּאֵ֗ל אַל־תַּבֵּ֧ט אֶל־מַרְאֵ֛הוּ וְאֶל־גְּבֹ֥הַּ קוֹמָת֖וֹ כִּ֣י מְאַסְתִּ֑יהוּ כִּ֣י ׀ לֹ֗א אֲשֶׁ֤ר יִרְאֶה֙ הָאָדָ֔ם כִּ֤י הָאָדָם֙ יִרְאֶ֣ה לַעֵינַ֔יִם וַיהֹוָ֖ה יִרְאֶ֥ה לַלֵּבָֽב׃ (ח) וַיִּקְרָ֤א יִשַׁי֙ אֶל־אֲבִ֣ינָדָ֔ב וַיַּעֲבִרֵ֖הוּ לִפְנֵ֣י שְׁמוּאֵ֑ל וַיֹּ֕אמֶר גַּם־בָּזֶ֖ה לֹא־בָחַ֥ר יְהֹוָֽה׃ (ט) וַיַּעֲבֵ֥ר יִשַׁ֖י שַׁמָּ֑ה וַיֹּ֕אמֶר גַּם־בָּזֶ֖ה לֹא־בָחַ֥ר יְהֹוָֽה׃ (י) וַיַּעֲבֵ֥ר יִשַׁ֛י שִׁבְעַ֥ת בָּנָ֖יו לִפְנֵ֣י שְׁמוּאֵ֑ל וַיֹּ֤אמֶר שְׁמוּאֵל֙ אֶל־יִשַׁ֔י לֹא־בָחַ֥ר יְהֹוָ֖ה בָּאֵֽלֶּה׃ (יא) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר שְׁמוּאֵ֣ל אֶל־יִשַׁי֮ הֲתַ֣מּוּ הַנְּעָרִים֒ וַיֹּ֗אמֶר ע֚וֹד שָׁאַ֣ר הַקָּטָ֔ן וְהִנֵּ֥ה רֹעֶ֖ה בַּצֹּ֑אן וַיֹּ֨אמֶר שְׁמוּאֵ֤ל אֶל־יִשַׁי֙ שִׁלְחָ֣ה וְקָחֶ֔נּוּ כִּ֥י לֹֽא־נָסֹ֖ב עַד־בֹּא֥וֹ פֹֽה׃ (יב) וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח וַיְבִיאֵ֙הוּ֙ וְה֣וּא אַדְמוֹנִ֔י עִם־יְפֵ֥ה עֵינַ֖יִם וְט֣וֹב רֹ֑אִי {פ}
וַיֹּ֧אמֶר יְהֹוָ֛ה ק֥וּם מְשָׁחֵ֖הוּ כִּי־זֶ֥ה הֽוּא׃ (יג) וַיִּקַּ֨ח שְׁמוּאֵ֜ל אֶת־קֶ֣רֶן הַשֶּׁ֗מֶן וַיִּמְשַׁ֣ח אֹתוֹ֮ בְּקֶ֣רֶב אֶחָיו֒ וַתִּצְלַ֤ח רֽוּחַ־יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־דָּוִ֔ד מֵהַיּ֥וֹם הַה֖וּא וָמָ֑עְלָה וַיָּ֣קׇם שְׁמוּאֵ֔ל וַיֵּ֖לֶךְ הָרָמָֽתָה׃
(1) And the LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and set out; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have decided on one of his sons to be king.” (2) Samuel replied, “How can I go? If Saul hears of it, he will kill me.” The LORD answered, “Take a heifer with you, and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’ (3) Invite Jesse to the sacrificial feast, and then I will make known to you what you shall do; you shall anoint for Me the one I point out to you.” (4) Samuel did what the LORD commanded. When he came to Bethlehem, the elders of the city went out in alarm to meet him and said, “Do you come on a peaceful errand?” (5) “Yes,” he replied, “I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Purify yourselves and join me in the sacrificial feast.” He also instructed Jesse and his sons to purify themselves and invited them to the sacrificial feast. (6) When they arrived and he saw Eliab, he thought: “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands before Him.” (7) But the LORD said to Samuel, “Pay no attention to his appearance or his stature, for I have rejected him. For not as man sees [does the LORD see]; man sees only what is visible, but the LORD sees into the heart.” (8) Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass before Samuel; but he said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” (9) Next Jesse presented Shammah; and again he said, “The LORD has not chosen this one either.” (10) Thus Jesse presented seven of his sons before Samuel, and Samuel said to Jesse, “The LORD has not chosen any of these.” (11) Then Samuel asked Jesse, “Are these all the boys you have?” He replied, “There is still the youngest; he is tending the flock.” And Samuel said to Jesse, “Send someone to bring him, for we will not sit down to eat until he gets here.” (12) So they sent and brought him. He was ruddy-cheeked, bright-eyed, and handsome. And the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him, for this is the one.” (13) Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the LORD gripped David from that day on. Samuel then set out for Ramah.
Questions on David:
- What role did his father expect of him?
- What were the roles his brothers held in the eyes of his father?
- How did Samuel's view of the king's role differ from Jesse's?
- What role did his father expect of him?
- What were the roles his brothers held in the eyes of his father?
- How did Samuel's view of the king's role differ from Jesse's?
(א) וַיֵּ֨לֶךְ אֲבִימֶ֤לֶךְ בֶּן־יְרֻבַּ֙עַל֙ שְׁכֶ֔מָה אֶל־אֲחֵ֖י אִמּ֑וֹ וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר אֲלֵיהֶ֔ם וְאֶל־כׇּל־מִשְׁפַּ֛חַת בֵּית־אֲבִ֥י אִמּ֖וֹ לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ב) דַּבְּרוּ־נָ֞א בְּאׇזְנֵ֨י כׇל־בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶם֮ מַה־טּ֣וֹב לָכֶם֒ הַמְשֹׁ֨ל בָּכֶ֜ם שִׁבְעִ֣ים אִ֗ישׁ כֹּ֚ל בְּנֵ֣י יְרֻבַּ֔עַל אִם־מְשֹׁ֥ל בָּכֶ֖ם אִ֣ישׁ אֶחָ֑ד וּזְכַרְתֶּ֕ם כִּֽי־עַצְמְכֶ֥ם וּבְשַׂרְכֶ֖ם אָֽנִי׃ (ג) וַיְדַבְּר֨וּ אֲחֵי־אִמּ֜וֹ עָלָ֗יו בְּאׇזְנֵי֙ כׇּל־בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֔ם אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה וַיֵּ֤ט לִבָּם֙ אַחֲרֵ֣י אֲבִימֶ֔לֶךְ כִּ֥י אָמְר֖וּ אָחִ֥ינוּ הֽוּא׃ (ד) וַיִּתְּנוּ־לוֹ֙ שִׁבְעִ֣ים כֶּ֔סֶף מִבֵּ֖ית בַּ֣עַל בְּרִ֑ית וַיִּשְׂכֹּ֨ר בָּהֶ֜ם אֲבִימֶ֗לֶךְ אֲנָשִׁ֤ים רֵיקִים֙ וּפֹ֣חֲזִ֔ים וַיֵּלְכ֖וּ אַחֲרָֽיו׃ (ה) וַיָּבֹ֤א בֵית־אָבִיו֙ עׇפְרָ֔תָה וַֽיַּהֲרֹ֞ג אֶת־אֶחָ֧יו בְּנֵי־יְרֻבַּ֛עַל שִׁבְעִ֥ים אִ֖ישׁ עַל־אֶ֣בֶן אֶחָ֑ת וַיִּוָּתֵ֞ר יוֹתָ֧ם בֶּן־יְרֻבַּ֛עַל הַקָּטֹ֖ן כִּ֥י נֶחְבָּֽא׃ {ס} (ו) וַיֵּאָ֨סְפ֜וּ כׇּל־בַּעֲלֵ֤י שְׁכֶם֙ וְכׇל־בֵּ֣ית מִלּ֔וֹא וַיֵּ֣לְכ֔וּ וַיַּמְלִ֥יכוּ אֶת־אֲבִימֶ֖לֶךְ לְמֶ֑לֶךְ עִם־אֵל֥וֹן מֻצָּ֖ב אֲשֶׁ֥ר בִּשְׁכֶֽם׃ (ז) וַיַּגִּ֣דוּ לְיוֹתָ֗ם וַיֵּ֙לֶךְ֙ וַֽיַּעֲמֹד֙ בְּרֹ֣אשׁ הַר־גְּרִזִ֔ים וַיִּשָּׂ֥א קוֹל֖וֹ וַיִּקְרָ֑א וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֗ם שִׁמְע֤וּ אֵלַי֙ בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֔ם וְיִשְׁמַ֥ע אֲלֵיכֶ֖ם אֱלֹהִֽים׃ (ח) הָל֤וֹךְ הָֽלְכוּ֙ הָעֵצִ֔ים לִמְשֹׁ֥חַ עֲלֵיהֶ֖ם מֶ֑לֶךְ וַיֹּאמְר֥וּ לַזַּ֖יִת (מלוכה) [מׇלְכָ֥ה] עָלֵֽינוּ׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָהֶם֙ הַזַּ֔יִת הֶחֳדַ֙לְתִּי֙ אֶת־דִּשְׁנִ֔י אֲשֶׁר־בִּ֛י יְכַבְּד֥וּ אֱלֹהִ֖ים וַאֲנָשִׁ֑ים וְהָ֣לַכְתִּ֔י לָנ֖וּעַ עַל־הָעֵצִֽים׃ (י) וַיֹּאמְר֥וּ הָעֵצִ֖ים לַתְּאֵנָ֑ה לְכִי־אַ֖תְּ מׇלְכִ֥י עָלֵֽינוּ׃ (יא) וַתֹּ֤אמֶר לָהֶם֙ הַתְּאֵנָ֔ה הֶחֳדַ֙לְתִּי֙ אֶת־מׇתְקִ֔י וְאֶת־תְּנוּבָתִ֖י הַטּוֹבָ֑ה וְהָ֣לַכְתִּ֔י לָנ֖וּעַ עַל־הָֽעֵצִֽים׃ (יב) וַיֹּאמְר֥וּ הָעֵצִ֖ים לַגָּ֑פֶן לְכִי־אַ֖תְּ (מלוכי) [מָלְכִ֥י] עָלֵֽינוּ׃ (יג) וַתֹּ֤אמֶר לָהֶם֙ הַגֶּ֔פֶן הֶחֳדַ֙לְתִּי֙ אֶת־תִּ֣ירוֹשִׁ֔י הַֽמְשַׂמֵּ֥חַ אֱלֹהִ֖ים וַאֲנָשִׁ֑ים וְהָ֣לַכְתִּ֔י לָנ֖וּעַ עַל־הָעֵצִֽים׃ (יד) וַיֹּאמְר֥וּ כׇל־הָעֵצִ֖ים אֶל־הָאָטָ֑ד לֵ֥ךְ אַתָּ֖ה מְלׇךְ־עָלֵֽינוּ׃ (טו) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר הָאָטָד֮ אֶל־הָעֵצִים֒ אִ֡ם בֶּאֱמֶ֣ת אַתֶּם֩ מֹשְׁחִ֨ים אֹתִ֤י לְמֶ֙לֶךְ֙ עֲלֵיכֶ֔ם בֹּ֖אוּ חֲס֣וּ בְצִלִּ֑י וְאִם־אַ֕יִן תֵּ֤צֵא אֵשׁ֙ מִן־הָ֣אָטָ֔ד וְתֹאכַ֖ל אֶת־אַרְזֵ֥י הַלְּבָנֽוֹן׃ (טז) וְעַתָּ֗ה אִם־בֶּאֱמֶ֤ת וּבְתָמִים֙ עֲשִׂיתֶ֔ם וַתַּמְלִ֖יכוּ אֶת־אֲבִימֶ֑לֶךְ וְאִם־טוֹבָ֤ה עֲשִׂיתֶם֙ עִם־יְרֻבַּ֣עַל וְעִם־בֵּית֔וֹ וְאִם־כִּגְמ֥וּל יָדָ֖יו עֲשִׂ֥יתֶם לֽוֹ׃ (יז) אֲשֶׁר־נִלְחַ֥ם אָבִ֖י עֲלֵיכֶ֑ם וַיַּשְׁלֵ֤ךְ אֶת־נַפְשׁוֹ֙ מִנֶּ֔גֶד וַיַּצֵּ֥ל אֶתְכֶ֖ם מִיַּ֥ד מִדְיָֽן׃ (יח) וְאַתֶּ֞ם קַמְתֶּ֨ם עַל־בֵּ֤ית אָבִי֙ הַיּ֔וֹם וַתַּהַרְג֧וּ אֶת־בָּנָ֛יו שִׁבְעִ֥ים אִ֖ישׁ עַל־אֶ֣בֶן אֶחָ֑ת וַתַּמְלִ֜יכוּ אֶת־אֲבִימֶ֤לֶךְ בֶּן־אֲמָתוֹ֙ עַל־בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֔ם כִּ֥י אֲחִיכֶ֖ם הֽוּא׃ (יט) וְאִם־בֶּאֱמֶ֨ת וּבְתָמִ֧ים עֲשִׂיתֶ֛ם עִם־יְרֻבַּ֥עַל וְעִם־בֵּית֖וֹ הַיּ֣וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה שִׂמְחוּ֙ בַּאֲבִימֶ֔לֶךְ וְיִשְׂמַ֥ח גַּם־ה֖וּא בָּכֶֽם׃ (כ) וְאִם־אַ֕יִן תֵּ֤צֵא אֵשׁ֙ מֵאֲבִימֶ֔לֶךְ וְתֹאכַ֛ל אֶת־בַּעֲלֵ֥י שְׁכֶ֖ם וְאֶת־בֵּ֣ית מִלּ֑וֹא וְתֵצֵ֨א אֵ֜שׁ מִבַּעֲלֵ֤י שְׁכֶם֙ וּמִבֵּ֣ית מִלּ֔וֹא וְתֹאכַ֖ל אֶת־אֲבִימֶֽלֶךְ׃ (כא) וַיָּ֣נׇס יוֹתָ֔ם וַיִּבְרַ֖ח וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ בְּאֵ֑רָה וַיֵּ֣שֶׁב שָׁ֔ם מִפְּנֵ֖י אֲבִימֶ֥לֶךְ אָחִֽיו׃ {פ}
(כב) וַיָּ֧שַׂר אֲבִימֶ֛לֶךְ עַל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל שָׁלֹ֥שׁ שָׁנִֽים׃ (כג) וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח אֱלֹהִים֙ ר֣וּחַ רָעָ֔ה בֵּ֣ין אֲבִימֶ֔לֶךְ וּבֵ֖ין בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֑ם וַיִּבְגְּד֥וּ בַעֲלֵי־שְׁכֶ֖ם בַּאֲבִימֶֽלֶךְ׃ (כד) לָב֕וֹא חֲמַ֖ס שִׁבְעִ֣ים בְּנֵֽי־יְרֻבָּ֑עַל וְדָמָ֗ם לָשׂ֞וּם עַל־אֲבִימֶ֤לֶךְ אֲחִיהֶם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר הָרַ֣ג אוֹתָ֔ם וְעַל֙ בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־חִזְּק֥וּ אֶת־יָדָ֖יו לַהֲרֹ֥ג אֶת־אֶחָֽיו׃
(כב) וַיָּ֧שַׂר אֲבִימֶ֛לֶךְ עַל־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל שָׁלֹ֥שׁ שָׁנִֽים׃ (כג) וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח אֱלֹהִים֙ ר֣וּחַ רָעָ֔ה בֵּ֣ין אֲבִימֶ֔לֶךְ וּבֵ֖ין בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֑ם וַיִּבְגְּד֥וּ בַעֲלֵי־שְׁכֶ֖ם בַּאֲבִימֶֽלֶךְ׃ (כד) לָב֕וֹא חֲמַ֖ס שִׁבְעִ֣ים בְּנֵֽי־יְרֻבָּ֑עַל וְדָמָ֗ם לָשׂ֞וּם עַל־אֲבִימֶ֤לֶךְ אֲחִיהֶם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר הָרַ֣ג אוֹתָ֔ם וְעַל֙ בַּעֲלֵ֣י שְׁכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־חִזְּק֥וּ אֶת־יָדָ֖יו לַהֲרֹ֥ג אֶת־אֶחָֽיו׃
(1) Abimelech son of Jerubbaal went to his mother’s brothers in Shechem and spoke to them and to the whole clan of his mother’s family. He said, (2) “Put this question to all the citizens of Shechem: Which is better for you, to be ruled by seventy men—by all the sons of Jerubbaal—or to be ruled by one man? And remember, I am your own flesh and blood.” (3) His mother’s brothers said all this in his behalf to all the citizens of Shechem, and they were won over to Abimelech; for they thought, “He is our kinsman.” (4) They gave him seventy shekels from the temple of Baal-berith; and with this Abimelech hired some worthless and reckless fellows, and they followed him. (5) Then he went to his father’s house in Ophrah and killed his brothers, the sons of Jerubbaal, seventy men on one stone. Only Jotham, the youngest son of Jerubbaal, survived, because he went into hiding. (6) All the citizens of Shechem and all Beth-millo convened, and they proclaimed Abimelech king at the terebinth of the pillar at Shechem. (7) When Jotham was informed, he went and stood on top of Mount Gerizim and called out to them in a loud voice. “Citizens of Shechem!” he cried, “listen to me, that God may listen to you. (8) “Once the trees went to anoint a king over themselves. They said to the olive tree, ‘Reign over us.’ (9) But the olive tree replied, ‘Have I, through whom God and men are honored, stopped yielding my rich oil, that I should go and wave above the trees?’ (10) So the trees said to the fig tree, ‘You come and reign over us.’ (11) But the fig tree replied, ‘Have I stopped yielding my sweetness, my delicious fruit, that I should go and wave above the trees?’ (12) So the trees said to the vine, ‘You come and reign over us.’ (13) But the vine replied, ‘Have I stopped yielding my new wine, which gladdens God and men, that I should go and wave above the trees?’ (14) Then all the trees said to the thornbush, ‘You come and reign over us.’ (15) And the thornbush said to the trees, ‘If you are acting honorably in anointing me king over you, come and take shelter in my shade; but if not, may fire issue from the thornbush and consume the cedars of Lebanon!’ (16) “Now then, if you acted honorably and loyally in making Abimelech king, if you have done right by Jerubbaal and his house and have requited him according to his deserts— (17) considering that my father fought for you and saved you from the Midianites at the risk of his life, (18) and now you have turned on my father’s household, killed his sons, seventy men on one stone, and set up Abimelech, the son of his handmaid, as king over the citizens of Shechem just because he is your kinsman— (19) if, I say, you have this day acted honorably and loyally toward Jerubbaal and his house, have joy in Abimelech and may he likewise have joy in you. (20) But if not, may fire issue from Abimelech and consume the citizens of Shechem and Beth-millo, and may fire issue from the citizens of Shechem and Beth-millo and consume Abimelech!” (21) With that, Jotham fled. He ran to Beer and stayed there, because of his brother Abimelech. (22) Abimelech held sway over Israel for three years. (23) Then God sent a spirit of discord between Abimelech and the citizens of Shechem, and the citizens of Shechem broke faith with Abimelech— (24) to the end that the crime committed against the seventy sons of Jerubbaal might be avenged, and their blood recoil upon their brother Abimelech, who had slain them, and upon the citizens of Shechem, who had abetted him in the slaying of his brothers.
Questions on Jotham (Yotam)
What role had his brother Abimelech taken upon himself in the family?
What role did Jotham hold in the family?
Do you think they created these roles themselves? What might have led up to this experience?
Story 3 - Content Warning - Sexual Assault
What role had his brother Abimelech taken upon himself in the family?
What role did Jotham hold in the family?
Do you think they created these roles themselves? What might have led up to this experience?
Story 3 - Content Warning - Sexual Assault
(א) וַיְהִ֣י אַחֲרֵי־כֵ֗ן וּלְאַבְשָׁל֧וֹם בֶּן־דָּוִ֛ד אָח֥וֹת יָפָ֖ה וּשְׁמָ֣הּ תָּמָ֑ר וַיֶּאֱהָבֶ֖הָ אַמְנ֥וֹן בֶּן־דָּוִֽד׃ (ב) וַיֵּ֨צֶר לְאַמְנ֜וֹן לְהִתְחַלּ֗וֹת בַּֽעֲבוּר֙ תָּמָ֣ר אֲחֹת֔וֹ כִּ֥י בְתוּלָ֖ה הִ֑יא וַיִּפָּלֵא֙ בְּעֵינֵ֣י אַמְנ֔וֹן לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת לָ֖הּ מְאֽוּמָה׃ (ג) וּלְאַמְנ֣וֹן רֵ֗עַ וּשְׁמוֹ֙ יֽוֹנָדָ֔ב בֶּן־שִׁמְעָ֖ה אֲחִ֣י דָוִ֑ד וְי֣וֹנָדָ֔ב אִ֥ישׁ חָכָ֖ם מְאֹֽד׃ (ד) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ מַדּ֣וּעַ אַ֠תָּ֠ה כָּ֣כָה דַּ֤ל בֶּן־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ בַּבֹּ֣קֶר בַּבֹּ֔קֶר הֲל֖וֹא תַּגִּ֣יד לִ֑י וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ אַמְנ֔וֹן אֶת־תָּמָ֗ר אֲח֛וֹת אַבְשָׁלֹ֥ם אָחִ֖י אֲנִ֥י אֹהֵֽב׃ (ה) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ יְה֣וֹנָדָ֔ב שְׁכַ֥ב עַל־מִשְׁכָּבְךָ֖ וְהִתְחָ֑ל וּבָ֧א אָבִ֣יךָ לִרְאוֹתֶ֗ךָ וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֵלָ֡יו תָּ֣בֹא נָא֩ תָמָ֨ר אֲחוֹתִ֜י וְתַבְרֵ֣נִי לֶ֗חֶם וְעָשְׂתָ֤ה לְעֵינַי֙ אֶת־הַבִּרְיָ֔ה לְמַ֙עַן֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶרְאֶ֔ה וְאָכַלְתִּ֖י מִיָּדָֽהּ׃ (ו) וַיִּשְׁכַּ֥ב אַמְנ֖וֹן וַיִּתְחָ֑ל וַיָּבֹ֨א הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ לִרְאוֹת֗וֹ וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אַמְנ֤וֹן אֶל־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ תָּבוֹא־נָ֞א תָּמָ֣ר אֲחֹתִ֗י וּתְלַבֵּ֤ב לְעֵינַי֙ שְׁתֵּ֣י לְבִב֔וֹת וְאֶבְרֶ֖ה מִיָּדָֽהּ׃ (ז) וַיִּשְׁלַ֥ח דָּוִ֛ד אֶל־תָּמָ֖ר הַבַּ֣יְתָה לֵאמֹ֑ר לְכִ֣י נָ֗א בֵּ֚ית אַמְנ֣וֹן אָחִ֔יךְ וַעֲשִׂי־ל֖וֹ הַבִּרְיָֽה׃ (ח) וַתֵּ֣לֶךְ תָּמָ֗ר בֵּ֛ית אַמְנ֥וֹן אָחִ֖יהָ וְה֣וּא שֹׁכֵ֑ב וַתִּקַּ֨ח אֶת־הַבָּצֵ֤ק (ותלוש) [וַתָּ֙לׇשׁ֙] וַתְּלַבֵּ֣ב לְעֵינָ֔יו וַתְּבַשֵּׁ֖ל אֶת־הַלְּבִבֽוֹת׃ (ט) וַתִּקַּ֤ח אֶת־הַמַּשְׂרֵת֙ וַתִּצֹ֣ק לְפָנָ֔יו וַיְמָאֵ֖ן לֶאֱכ֑וֹל וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אַמְנ֗וֹן הוֹצִ֤יאוּ כׇל־אִישׁ֙ מֵעָלַ֔י וַיֵּצְא֥וּ כׇל־אִ֖ישׁ מֵעָלָֽיו׃ (י) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אַמְנ֜וֹן אֶל־תָּמָ֗ר הָבִ֤יאִי הַבִּרְיָה֙ הַחֶ֔דֶר וְאֶבְרֶ֖ה מִיָּדֵ֑ךְ וַתִּקַּ֣ח תָּמָ֗ר אֶת־הַלְּבִבוֹת֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָשָׂ֔תָה וַתָּבֵ֛א לְאַמְנ֥וֹן אָחִ֖יהָ הֶחָֽדְרָה׃ (יא) וַתַּגֵּ֥שׁ אֵלָ֖יו לֶאֱכֹ֑ל וַיַּֽחֲזֶק־בָּהּ֙ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָ֔הּ בּ֛וֹאִי שִׁכְבִ֥י עִמִּ֖י אֲחוֹתִֽי׃ (יב) וַתֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ אַל־אָחִי֙ אַל־תְּעַנֵּ֔נִי כִּ֛י לֹא־יֵעָשֶׂ֥ה כֵ֖ן בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל אַֽל־תַּעֲשֵׂ֖ה אֶת־הַנְּבָלָ֥ה הַזֹּֽאת׃ (יג) וַאֲנִ֗י אָ֤נָה אוֹלִיךְ֙ אֶת־חֶרְפָּתִ֔י וְאַתָּ֗ה תִּֽהְיֶ֛ה כְּאַחַ֥ד הַנְּבָלִ֖ים בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וְעַתָּה֙ דַּבֶּר־נָ֣א אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ כִּ֛י לֹ֥א יִמְנָעֵ֖נִי מִמֶּֽךָּ׃ (יד) וְלֹ֥א אָבָ֖ה לִשְׁמֹ֣עַ בְּקוֹלָ֑הּ וַיֶּחֱזַ֤ק מִמֶּ֙נָּה֙ וַיְעַנֶּ֔הָ וַיִּשְׁכַּ֖ב אֹתָֽהּ׃ (טו) וַיִּשְׂנָאֶ֣הָ אַמְנ֗וֹן שִׂנְאָה֙ גְּדוֹלָ֣ה מְאֹ֔ד כִּ֣י גְדוֹלָ֗ה הַשִּׂנְאָה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר שְׂנֵאָ֔הּ מֵאַהֲבָ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֲהֵבָ֑הּ וַֽיֹּאמֶר־לָ֥הּ אַמְנ֖וֹן ק֥וּמִי לֵֽכִי׃ (טז) וַתֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ אַל־אוֹדֹ֞ת הָרָעָ֤ה הַגְּדוֹלָה֙ הַזֹּ֔את מֵאַחֶ֛רֶת אֲשֶׁר־עָשִׂ֥יתָ עִמִּ֖י לְשַׁלְּחֵ֑נִי וְלֹ֥א אָבָ֖ה לִשְׁמֹ֥עַֽ לָֽהּ׃ (יז) וַיִּקְרָ֗א אֶֽת־נַעֲרוֹ֙ מְשָׁ֣רְת֔וֹ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר שִׁלְחוּ־נָ֥א אֶת־זֹ֛את מֵעָלַ֖י הַח֑וּצָה וּנְעֹ֥ל הַדֶּ֖לֶת אַחֲרֶֽיהָ׃ (יח) וְעָלֶ֙יהָ֙ כְּתֹ֣נֶת פַּסִּ֔ים כִּי֩ כֵ֨ן תִּלְבַּ֧שְׁןָ בְנוֹת־הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ הַבְּתוּלֹ֖ת מְעִילִ֑ים וַיֹּצֵ֨א אוֹתָ֤הּ מְשָֽׁרְתוֹ֙ הַח֔וּץ וְנָעַ֥ל הַדֶּ֖לֶת אַחֲרֶֽיהָ׃ (יט) וַתִּקַּ֨ח תָּמָ֥ר אֵ֙פֶר֙ עַל־רֹאשָׁ֔הּ וּכְתֹ֧נֶת הַפַּסִּ֛ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָלֶ֖יהָ קָרָ֑עָה וַתָּ֤שֶׂם יָדָהּ֙ עַל־רֹאשָׁ֔הּ וַתֵּ֥לֶךְ הָל֖וֹךְ וְזָעָֽקָה׃ (כ) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אֵלֶ֜יהָ אַבְשָׁל֣וֹם אָחִ֗יהָ הַאֲמִינ֣וֹן אָחִ֘יךְ֮ הָיָ֣ה עִמָּךְ֒ וְעַתָּ֞ה אֲחוֹתִ֤י הַחֲרִ֙ישִׁי֙ אָחִ֣יךְ ה֔וּא אַל־תָּשִׁ֥יתִי אֶת־לִבֵּ֖ךְ לַדָּבָ֣ר הַזֶּ֑ה וַתֵּ֤שֶׁב תָּמָר֙ וְשֹׁ֣מֵמָ֔ה בֵּ֖ית אַבְשָׁל֥וֹם אָחִֽיהָ׃ (כא) וְהַמֶּ֣לֶךְ דָּוִ֔ד שָׁמַ֕ע אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה וַיִּ֥חַר ל֖וֹ מְאֹֽד׃ (כב) וְלֹֽא־דִבֶּ֧ר אַבְשָׁל֛וֹם עִם־אַמְנ֖וֹן לְמֵרָ֣ע וְעַד־ט֑וֹב כִּֽי־שָׂנֵ֤א אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ אֶת־אַמְנ֔וֹן עַל־דְּבַר֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עִנָּ֔ה אֵ֖ת תָּמָ֥ר אֲחֹתֽוֹ׃ {פ}
(כג) וַֽיְהִי֙ לִשְׁנָתַ֣יִם יָמִ֔ים וַיִּֽהְי֤וּ גֹֽזְזִים֙ לְאַבְשָׁל֔וֹם בְּבַ֥עַל חָצ֖וֹר אֲשֶׁ֣ר עִם־אֶפְרָ֑יִם וַיִּקְרָ֥א אַבְשָׁל֖וֹם לְכׇל־בְּנֵ֥י הַמֶּֽלֶךְ׃ (כד) וַיָּבֹ֤א אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר הִנֵּה־נָ֥א גֹזְזִ֖ים לְעַבְדֶּ֑ךָ יֵלֶךְ־נָ֥א הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ וַעֲבָדָ֖יו עִם־עַבְדֶּֽךָ׃ (כה) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ אֶל־אַבְשָׁל֗וֹם אַל־בְּנִי֙ אַל־נָ֤א נֵלֵךְ֙ כֻּלָּ֔נוּ וְלֹ֥א נִכְבַּ֖ד עָלֶ֑יךָ וַיִּפְרׇץ־בּ֛וֹ וְלֹא־אָבָ֥ה לָלֶ֖כֶת וַֽיְבָרְכֵֽהוּ׃ (כו) וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אַבְשָׁל֔וֹם וָלֹ֕א יֵלֶךְ־נָ֥א אִתָּ֖נוּ אַמְנ֣וֹן אָחִ֑י וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ לָ֥מָּה יֵלֵ֖ךְ עִמָּֽךְ׃ (כז) וַיִּפְרׇץ־בּ֖וֹ אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח אִתּוֹ֙ אֶת־אַמְנ֔וֹן וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־בְּנֵ֥י הַמֶּֽלֶךְ׃ {ס} (כח) וַיְצַו֩ אַבְשָׁל֨וֹם אֶת־נְעָרָ֜יו לֵאמֹ֗ר רְא֣וּ נָ֠א כְּט֨וֹב לֵב־אַמְנ֤וֹן בַּיַּ֙יִן֙ וְאָמַרְתִּ֨י אֲלֵיכֶ֜ם הַכּ֧וּ אֶת־אַמְנ֛וֹן וַהֲמִתֶּ֥ם אֹת֖וֹ אַל־תִּירָ֑אוּ הֲל֗וֹא כִּ֤י אָֽנֹכִי֙ צִוִּ֣יתִי אֶתְכֶ֔ם חִזְק֖וּ וִֽהְי֥וּ לִבְנֵי־חָֽיִל׃ (כט) וַֽיַּעֲשׂ֞וּ נַעֲרֵ֤י אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ לְאַמְנ֔וֹן כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר צִוָּ֖ה אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם וַיָּקֻ֣מוּ ׀ כׇּל־בְּנֵ֣י הַמֶּ֗לֶךְ וַֽיִּרְכְּב֛וּ אִ֥ישׁ עַל־פִּרְדּ֖וֹ וַיָּנֻֽסוּ׃ (ל) וַֽיְהִי֙ הֵ֣מָּה בַדֶּ֔רֶךְ וְהַשְּׁמֻעָ֣ה בָ֔אָה אֶל־דָּוִ֖ד לֵאמֹ֑ר הִכָּ֤ה אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ אֶת־כׇּל־בְּנֵ֣י הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ וְלֹא־נוֹתַ֥ר מֵהֶ֖ם אֶחָֽד׃ {פ}
(לא) וַיָּ֧קׇם הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ וַיִּקְרַ֥ע אֶת־בְּגָדָ֖יו וַיִּשְׁכַּ֣ב אָ֑רְצָה וְכׇל־עֲבָדָ֥יו נִצָּבִ֖ים קְרֻעֵ֥י בְגָדִֽים׃ {ס} (לב) וַיַּ֡עַן יוֹנָדָ֣ב ׀ בֶּן־שִׁמְעָ֨ה אֲחִי־דָוִ֜ד וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אַל־יֹאמַ֤ר אֲדֹנִי֙ אֵ֣ת כׇּל־הַנְּעָרִ֤ים בְּנֵֽי־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ הֵמִ֔יתוּ כִּֽי־אַמְנ֥וֹן לְבַדּ֖וֹ מֵ֑ת כִּֽי־עַל־פִּ֤י אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ הָיְתָ֣ה שׂוּמָ֔ה מִיּוֹם֙ עַנֹּת֔וֹ אֵ֖ת תָּמָ֥ר אֲחֹתֽוֹ׃ (לג) וְעַתָּ֡ה אַל־יָשֵׂם֩ אֲדֹנִ֨י הַמֶּ֤לֶךְ אֶל־לִבּוֹ֙ דָּבָ֣ר לֵאמֹ֔ר כׇּל־בְּנֵ֥י הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ מֵ֑תוּ כִּֽי־(אם)־אַמְנ֥וֹן לְבַדּ֖וֹ מֵֽת׃ {פ}
(לד) וַיִּבְרַ֖ח אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם וַיִּשָּׂ֞א הַנַּ֤עַר הַצֹּפֶה֙ אֶת־עֵינָ֔ו וַיַּ֗רְא וְהִנֵּ֨ה עַם־רַ֜ב הֹלְכִ֥ים מִדֶּ֛רֶךְ אַחֲרָ֖יו מִצַּ֥ד הָהָֽר׃ (לה) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יֽוֹנָדָב֙ אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ הִנֵּ֥ה בְנֵי־הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ בָּ֑אוּ כִּדְבַ֥ר עַבְדְּךָ֖ כֵּ֥ן הָיָֽה׃ (לו) וַיְהִ֣י ׀ כְּכַלֹּת֣וֹ לְדַבֵּ֗ר וְהִנֵּ֤ה בְנֵֽי־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ בָּ֔אוּ וַיִּשְׂא֥וּ קוֹלָ֖ם וַיִּבְכּ֑וּ וְגַם־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ וְכׇל־עֲבָדָ֔יו בָּכ֕וּ בְּכִ֖י גָּד֥וֹל מְאֹֽד׃ (לז) וְאַבְשָׁל֣וֹם בָּרַ֔ח וַיֵּ֛לֶךְ אֶל־תַּלְמַ֥י בֶּן־[עַמִּיה֖וּד] (עמיחור) מֶ֣לֶךְ גְּשׁ֑וּר וַיִּתְאַבֵּ֥ל עַל־בְּנ֖וֹ כׇּל־הַיָּמִֽים׃ (לח) וְאַבְשָׁל֥וֹם בָּרַ֖ח וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ גְּשׁ֑וּר וַֽיְהִי־שָׁ֖ם שָׁלֹ֥שׁ שָׁנִֽים׃ (לט) וַתְּכַל֙ דָּוִ֣ד הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ לָצֵ֖את אֶל־אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם כִּי־נִחַ֥ם עַל־אַמְנ֖וֹן כִּי־מֵֽת׃ {ס}
(כג) וַֽיְהִי֙ לִשְׁנָתַ֣יִם יָמִ֔ים וַיִּֽהְי֤וּ גֹֽזְזִים֙ לְאַבְשָׁל֔וֹם בְּבַ֥עַל חָצ֖וֹר אֲשֶׁ֣ר עִם־אֶפְרָ֑יִם וַיִּקְרָ֥א אַבְשָׁל֖וֹם לְכׇל־בְּנֵ֥י הַמֶּֽלֶךְ׃ (כד) וַיָּבֹ֤א אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר הִנֵּה־נָ֥א גֹזְזִ֖ים לְעַבְדֶּ֑ךָ יֵלֶךְ־נָ֥א הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ וַעֲבָדָ֖יו עִם־עַבְדֶּֽךָ׃ (כה) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ אֶל־אַבְשָׁל֗וֹם אַל־בְּנִי֙ אַל־נָ֤א נֵלֵךְ֙ כֻּלָּ֔נוּ וְלֹ֥א נִכְבַּ֖ד עָלֶ֑יךָ וַיִּפְרׇץ־בּ֛וֹ וְלֹא־אָבָ֥ה לָלֶ֖כֶת וַֽיְבָרְכֵֽהוּ׃ (כו) וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אַבְשָׁל֔וֹם וָלֹ֕א יֵלֶךְ־נָ֥א אִתָּ֖נוּ אַמְנ֣וֹן אָחִ֑י וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ לָ֥מָּה יֵלֵ֖ךְ עִמָּֽךְ׃ (כז) וַיִּפְרׇץ־בּ֖וֹ אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח אִתּוֹ֙ אֶת־אַמְנ֔וֹן וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־בְּנֵ֥י הַמֶּֽלֶךְ׃ {ס} (כח) וַיְצַו֩ אַבְשָׁל֨וֹם אֶת־נְעָרָ֜יו לֵאמֹ֗ר רְא֣וּ נָ֠א כְּט֨וֹב לֵב־אַמְנ֤וֹן בַּיַּ֙יִן֙ וְאָמַרְתִּ֨י אֲלֵיכֶ֜ם הַכּ֧וּ אֶת־אַמְנ֛וֹן וַהֲמִתֶּ֥ם אֹת֖וֹ אַל־תִּירָ֑אוּ הֲל֗וֹא כִּ֤י אָֽנֹכִי֙ צִוִּ֣יתִי אֶתְכֶ֔ם חִזְק֖וּ וִֽהְי֥וּ לִבְנֵי־חָֽיִל׃ (כט) וַֽיַּעֲשׂ֞וּ נַעֲרֵ֤י אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ לְאַמְנ֔וֹן כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר צִוָּ֖ה אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם וַיָּקֻ֣מוּ ׀ כׇּל־בְּנֵ֣י הַמֶּ֗לֶךְ וַֽיִּרְכְּב֛וּ אִ֥ישׁ עַל־פִּרְדּ֖וֹ וַיָּנֻֽסוּ׃ (ל) וַֽיְהִי֙ הֵ֣מָּה בַדֶּ֔רֶךְ וְהַשְּׁמֻעָ֣ה בָ֔אָה אֶל־דָּוִ֖ד לֵאמֹ֑ר הִכָּ֤ה אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ אֶת־כׇּל־בְּנֵ֣י הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ וְלֹא־נוֹתַ֥ר מֵהֶ֖ם אֶחָֽד׃ {פ}
(לא) וַיָּ֧קׇם הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ וַיִּקְרַ֥ע אֶת־בְּגָדָ֖יו וַיִּשְׁכַּ֣ב אָ֑רְצָה וְכׇל־עֲבָדָ֥יו נִצָּבִ֖ים קְרֻעֵ֥י בְגָדִֽים׃ {ס} (לב) וַיַּ֡עַן יוֹנָדָ֣ב ׀ בֶּן־שִׁמְעָ֨ה אֲחִי־דָוִ֜ד וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אַל־יֹאמַ֤ר אֲדֹנִי֙ אֵ֣ת כׇּל־הַנְּעָרִ֤ים בְּנֵֽי־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ הֵמִ֔יתוּ כִּֽי־אַמְנ֥וֹן לְבַדּ֖וֹ מֵ֑ת כִּֽי־עַל־פִּ֤י אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ הָיְתָ֣ה שׂוּמָ֔ה מִיּוֹם֙ עַנֹּת֔וֹ אֵ֖ת תָּמָ֥ר אֲחֹתֽוֹ׃ (לג) וְעַתָּ֡ה אַל־יָשֵׂם֩ אֲדֹנִ֨י הַמֶּ֤לֶךְ אֶל־לִבּוֹ֙ דָּבָ֣ר לֵאמֹ֔ר כׇּל־בְּנֵ֥י הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ מֵ֑תוּ כִּֽי־(אם)־אַמְנ֥וֹן לְבַדּ֖וֹ מֵֽת׃ {פ}
(לד) וַיִּבְרַ֖ח אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם וַיִּשָּׂ֞א הַנַּ֤עַר הַצֹּפֶה֙ אֶת־עֵינָ֔ו וַיַּ֗רְא וְהִנֵּ֨ה עַם־רַ֜ב הֹלְכִ֥ים מִדֶּ֛רֶךְ אַחֲרָ֖יו מִצַּ֥ד הָהָֽר׃ (לה) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יֽוֹנָדָב֙ אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ הִנֵּ֥ה בְנֵי־הַמֶּ֖לֶךְ בָּ֑אוּ כִּדְבַ֥ר עַבְדְּךָ֖ כֵּ֥ן הָיָֽה׃ (לו) וַיְהִ֣י ׀ כְּכַלֹּת֣וֹ לְדַבֵּ֗ר וְהִנֵּ֤ה בְנֵֽי־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ בָּ֔אוּ וַיִּשְׂא֥וּ קוֹלָ֖ם וַיִּבְכּ֑וּ וְגַם־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ וְכׇל־עֲבָדָ֔יו בָּכ֕וּ בְּכִ֖י גָּד֥וֹל מְאֹֽד׃ (לז) וְאַבְשָׁל֣וֹם בָּרַ֔ח וַיֵּ֛לֶךְ אֶל־תַּלְמַ֥י בֶּן־[עַמִּיה֖וּד] (עמיחור) מֶ֣לֶךְ גְּשׁ֑וּר וַיִּתְאַבֵּ֥ל עַל־בְּנ֖וֹ כׇּל־הַיָּמִֽים׃ (לח) וְאַבְשָׁל֥וֹם בָּרַ֖ח וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ גְּשׁ֑וּר וַֽיְהִי־שָׁ֖ם שָׁלֹ֥שׁ שָׁנִֽים׃ (לט) וַתְּכַל֙ דָּוִ֣ד הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ לָצֵ֖את אֶל־אַבְשָׁל֑וֹם כִּי־נִחַ֥ם עַל־אַמְנ֖וֹן כִּי־מֵֽת׃ {ס}
(1) This happened sometime afterward: Absalom son of David had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and Amnon son of David became infatuated with her. (2) Amnon was so distraught because of his [half-]sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her. (3) Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimah; Jonadab was a very clever man. (4) He asked him, “Why are you so dejected, O prince, morning after morning? Tell me!” Amnon replied, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom!” (5) Jonadab said to him, “Lie down in your bed and pretend you are sick. When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in front of me, so that I may look on, and let her serve it to me.’” (6) Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. The king came to see him, and Amnon said to the king, “Let my sister Tamar come and prepare a couple of cakes in front of me, and let her bring them to me.” (7) David sent a message to Tamar in the palace, “Please go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” (8) Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was in bed. She took dough and kneaded it into cakes in front of him, and cooked the cakes. (9) She took the pan and set out [the cakes], but Amnon refused to eat and ordered everyone to withdraw. After everyone had withdrawn, (10) Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food inside and feed me.” Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them to her brother inside. (11) But when she served them to him, he caught hold of her and said to her, “Come lie with me, sister.” (12) But she said to him, “Don’t, brother. Don’t force me. Such things are not done in Israel! Don’t do such a vile thing! (13) Where will I carry my shame? And you, you will be like any of the scoundrels in Israel! Please, speak to the king; he will not refuse me to you.” (14) But he would not listen to her; he overpowered her and lay with her by force. (15) Then Amnon felt a very great loathing for her; indeed, his loathing for her was greater than the passion he had felt for her. And Amnon said to her, “Get out!” (16) She pleaded with him, “Please don’t commit this wrong; to send me away would be even worse than the first wrong you committed against me.” But he would not listen to her. (17) He summoned his young attendant and said, “Get that woman out of my presence, and bar the door behind her.”— (18) She was wearing an ornamented tunic, for maiden princesses were customarily dressed in such garments.—His attendant took her outside and barred the door after her. (19) Tamar put dust on her head and rent the ornamented tunic she was wearing; she put her hands on her head, and walked away, screaming loudly as she went. (20) Her brother Absalom said to her, “Was it your brother Amnon who did this to you? For the present, sister, keep quiet about it; he is your brother. Don’t brood over the matter.” And Tamar remained in her brother Absalom’s house, forlorn. (21) When King David heard about all this, he was greatly upset. (22) Absalom didn’t utter a word to Amnon, good or bad; but Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar. (23) Two years later, when Absalom was having his flocks sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king’s sons. (24) And Absalom came to the king and said, “Your servant is having his flocks sheared. Would Your Majesty and your retinue accompany your servant?” (25) But the king answered Absalom, “No, my son. We must not all come, or we’ll be a burden to you.” He urged him, but he would not go, and he said good-bye to him. (26) Thereupon Absalom said, “In that case, let my brother Amnon come with us,” to which the king replied, “He shall not go with you.” (27) But Absalom urged him, and he sent with him Amnon and all the other princes. (28) Now Absalom gave his attendants these orders: “Watch, and when Amnon is merry with wine and I tell you to strike down Amnon, kill him! Don’t be afraid, for it is I who give you the order. Act with determination, like brave men!” (29) Absalom’s attendants did to Amnon as Absalom had ordered; whereupon all the other princes mounted their mules and fled. (30) They were still on the road when a rumor reached David that Absalom had killed all the princes, and that not one of them had survived. (31) At this, David rent his garment and lay down on the ground, and all his courtiers stood by with their clothes rent. (32) But Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimah, said, “My lord must not think that all the young princes have been killed. Only Amnon is dead; for this has been decided by Absalom ever since his sister Tamar was violated. (33) So my lord the king must not think for a moment that all the princes are dead; Amnon alone is dead.” (34) Meanwhile Absalom had fled. The watchman on duty looked up and saw a large crowd coming from the road to his rear, from the side of the hill. (35) Jonadab said to the king, “See, the princes have come! It is just as your servant said.” (36) As he finished speaking, the princes came in and broke into weeping; and David and all his courtiers wept bitterly, too. (37) Absalom had fled, and he came to Talmai son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And [King David] mourned over his son a long time. (38) Absalom, who had fled to Geshur, remained there three years. (39) And King David was pining away for Absalom, for [the king] had gotten over Amnon’s death.
Questions on Amnon, Tamar and Absalom
- How do Amnon and Absalom relate to each other
- as brothers from different mothers
- as heirs to the same throne
- as brothers with a shared sister
- What is Tamar's role as sister to Amnon and to Absalom - how does it vary depending on her relationship to each?
- How do Amnon and Absalom relate to each other
- as brothers from different mothers
- as heirs to the same throne
- as brothers with a shared sister
- What is Tamar's role as sister to Amnon and to Absalom - how does it vary depending on her relationship to each?
Journal Exercise:
Think about the roles you might be in your family. It could be a role placed upon you by your teacher, your school, your friends, your aunts, your parents - anyone. How does that affect the dynamic between you and your sibling?
Think about the roles you might be in your family. It could be a role placed upon you by your teacher, your school, your friends, your aunts, your parents - anyone. How does that affect the dynamic between you and your sibling?
Adele Faber and Elaine Maizlish
Siblings without Rivalry
1. Children and Parent Roles
“Children often experience praise of a brother or sister as a put-down of themselves. They automatically translate, ‘Your brother is so considerate’ into ‘Mom thinks I’m not.’ It’s a good idea to save our enthusiastic comments for the ear of the deserving child.”
“The passion and excitement you feel about a child’s achievement should be saved for a moment when just the two of you are together. It’s too much for the other siblings to have to listen to.”
“treating our children, not as they are, but as we hoped they would become.”
2. Parenting isn't equal - and that's okay.
“To be loved equally,” I continued, “is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely—for one’s own special self—is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.”
“If we want to stop showing favoritism, we first have to be aware that we feel it. We need to be honest enough to admit the truth to ourselves. Knowing our bias immediately puts us in a better position to protect our “less favored children”; and it helps us protect our favored child, as well, from the pressure of having to maintain his position and from the inevitable hostility of his siblings.”
“The only thing that is necessary is that we take another look at the less favored child, seek out her specialness, then reflect the wonder of it back to her.”
3. Honor the feelings. Sibling life is hard!
You have to let the bad feelings out before the good feelings can come in.
4. Comparisons trap us in roles and that's hard!
Siblings without Rivalry
1. Children and Parent Roles
“Children often experience praise of a brother or sister as a put-down of themselves. They automatically translate, ‘Your brother is so considerate’ into ‘Mom thinks I’m not.’ It’s a good idea to save our enthusiastic comments for the ear of the deserving child.”
“The passion and excitement you feel about a child’s achievement should be saved for a moment when just the two of you are together. It’s too much for the other siblings to have to listen to.”
“treating our children, not as they are, but as we hoped they would become.”
2. Parenting isn't equal - and that's okay.
“To be loved equally,” I continued, “is somehow to be loved less. To be loved uniquely—for one’s own special self—is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.”
“If we want to stop showing favoritism, we first have to be aware that we feel it. We need to be honest enough to admit the truth to ourselves. Knowing our bias immediately puts us in a better position to protect our “less favored children”; and it helps us protect our favored child, as well, from the pressure of having to maintain his position and from the inevitable hostility of his siblings.”
“The only thing that is necessary is that we take another look at the less favored child, seek out her specialness, then reflect the wonder of it back to her.”
3. Honor the feelings. Sibling life is hard!
You have to let the bad feelings out before the good feelings can come in.
4. Comparisons trap us in roles and that's hard!
וידבר יי' אל משה בהר סיני לאמר. דבר אל בני ישראל ואמרת אליהם כי תבאו אל הארץ אשר אני נותן לכם ושבתה הארץ שבת ליי'. כתב הרב הגדול ז"ל וכוף אזנך לשמוע מה שאני רשאי להשמיעך ממנו בלשון שאשמיעך ואם תזכה תתבונן. כבר כתבתי בסדר בראשית כי ששת ימי בראשית הם ימות עולם ויום שביעי שבת ליי' כי בו יהיה שבת ליי' כמו ששנינו במזמור שיר ליום השבת מזמור שיר לעתיד לבא ליום שכלו שבת שהוא מנוחה לחיי העולמים והנה הימים רמז לאשר ברא במעשה בראשית והשנים ירמזו לאשר יהיה בבריאה כל ימי עולם ועל כן החמיר הכתוב בשמיטה יותר מכל שאר חייבי לאוין וחייב גלות עליה כמו שהחמיר בעריות שנאמר אז תרצה הארץ את שבתותיה ותירץ את שבתותיה וכן שנינו גלות בא לעולם על עינוי הדין ועל עיוות הדין ועל השמטת הארץ שכל הכופר בה אינו מודה במעשה בראשית ובעולם הבא. וכן החמיר הנביא וגזר גלות על שלוח עבדים בשנה השביעית שנאמר אנכי כרתי ברית את אבותיכם וגו' (ירמיה לד יג). כי גם בעבד שביעית ויובל. והיובל ידוע עוד מבראשית עד ויכלו כי ישובו ביובל הכל איש אל אחוזתו ואיש אל משפחתו. כי הוא מוסד המאמין יחיש וזהו שנאמר ושבתה הארץ (ויקרא כה ב) וקראתם דרור בארץ (שם י') כי היא ארץ החיים הנרמזת בפסוק הראשון שנאמר בה והארץ אזכור וכבר זכרתי זה פעמים. ושמא לזה רמזו רז"ל במדרש חמשים שערי בינה נבראו בעולם וכולן נמסרו למשה חוץ מאחת שנאמר ותחסרהו מעט מאלהים (תהלים ח ו') כי כל שמיטה בית אחת והנה הודיעהו ההוייה מתחלה ועד סוף חוץ מן היובל קדש עכ"ד ז"ל. וגם החכם רבי עזרא ז"ל כתב השביעית היא כנגד האלף השביעי הנקרא יום שבת כמו שאמרו רז"ל שיתא אלפי שני הוי עלמא וחד חרוב שנאמר ונשגב יי' לבדו ביום ההוא (ישעיה ב יז) תניינא כוותיה דרב קטינא כשם שהשביעית משמטת שנה אחת לשבע שנים כך העולם משמט אלף אחד לשבעת אלפים שנאמר ונשגב יי' לבדו ביום ההוא ואמר מזמור שיר ליום השבת (תהלים צב א) ואמר כי אלף שנים בעיניך כיום אתמול כי יעבור (תהלים צ ד') עכ"ד ז"ל. ומה שאמר איכא דאמרי תרי חרוב שנאמר יחיינו מיומים וגו' (הושע ו ב') יש לפרש בשנת מ"ט ושנת חמשים הבאה אחריה שהוא היובל הגדול: