I Want You to Want Me: Parshat Devarim
(יב) אֵיכָ֥ה אֶשָּׂ֖א לְבַדִּ֑י טׇרְחֲכֶ֥ם וּמַֽשַּׂאֲכֶ֖ם וְרִֽיבְכֶֽם׃ (יג) הָב֣וּ לָ֠כֶ֠ם אֲנָשִׁ֨ים חֲכָמִ֧ים וּנְבֹנִ֛ים וִידֻעִ֖ים לְשִׁבְטֵיכֶ֑ם וַאֲשִׂימֵ֖ם בְּרָאשֵׁיכֶֽם׃ (יד) וַֽתַּעֲנ֖וּ אֹתִ֑י וַתֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ טֽוֹב־הַדָּבָ֥ר אֲשֶׁר־דִּבַּ֖רְתָּ לַעֲשֽׂוֹת׃ (טו) וָאֶקַּ֞ח אֶת־רָאשֵׁ֣י שִׁבְטֵיכֶ֗ם אֲנָשִׁ֤ים חֲכָמִים֙ וִֽידֻעִ֔ים וָאֶתֵּ֥ן אוֹתָ֛ם רָאשִׁ֖ים עֲלֵיכֶ֑ם שָׂרֵ֨י אֲלָפִ֜ים וְשָׂרֵ֣י מֵא֗וֹת וְשָׂרֵ֤י חֲמִשִּׁים֙ וְשָׂרֵ֣י עֲשָׂרֹ֔ת וְשֹׁטְרִ֖ים לְשִׁבְטֵיכֶֽם׃ (טז) וָאֲצַוֶּה֙ אֶת־שֹׁ֣פְטֵיכֶ֔ם בָּעֵ֥ת הַהִ֖וא לֵאמֹ֑ר שָׁמֹ֤עַ בֵּין־אֲחֵיכֶם֙ וּשְׁפַטְתֶּ֣ם צֶ֔דֶק בֵּֽין־אִ֥ישׁ וּבֵין־אָחִ֖יו וּבֵ֥ין גֵּרֽוֹ׃ (יז) לֹֽא־תַכִּ֨ירוּ פָנִ֜ים בַּמִּשְׁפָּ֗ט כַּקָּטֹ֤ן כַּגָּדֹל֙ תִּשְׁמָע֔וּן לֹ֤א תָג֙וּרוּ֙ מִפְּנֵי־אִ֔ישׁ כִּ֥י הַמִּשְׁפָּ֖ט לֵאלֹהִ֣ים ה֑וּא וְהַדָּבָר֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר יִקְשֶׁ֣ה מִכֶּ֔ם תַּקְרִב֥וּן אֵלַ֖י וּשְׁמַעְתִּֽיו׃ (יח) וָאֲצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם בָּעֵ֣ת הַהִ֑וא אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר תַּעֲשֽׂוּן׃ (יט) וַנִּסַּ֣ע מֵחֹרֵ֗ב וַנֵּ֡לֶךְ אֵ֣ת כׇּל־הַמִּדְבָּ֣ר הַגָּדוֹל֩ וְהַנּוֹרָ֨א הַה֜וּא אֲשֶׁ֣ר רְאִיתֶ֗ם דֶּ֚רֶךְ הַ֣ר הָֽאֱמֹרִ֔י כַּאֲשֶׁ֥ר צִוָּ֛ה יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵ֖ינוּ אֹתָ֑נוּ וַנָּבֹ֕א עַ֖ד קָדֵ֥שׁ בַּרְנֵֽעַ׃ (כ) וָאֹמַ֖ר אֲלֵכֶ֑ם בָּאתֶם֙ עַד־הַ֣ר הָאֱמֹרִ֔י אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵ֖ינוּ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽנוּ׃ (כא) רְ֠אֵ֠ה נָתַ֨ן יְהֹוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ לְפָנֶ֖יךָ אֶת־הָאָ֑רֶץ עֲלֵ֣ה רֵ֗שׁ כַּאֲשֶׁר֩ דִּבֶּ֨ר יְהֹוָ֜ה אֱלֹהֵ֤י אֲבֹתֶ֙יךָ֙ לָ֔ךְ אַל־תִּירָ֖א וְאַל־תֵּחָֽת׃
(12) How can I bear unaided the trouble of you, and the burden, and the bickering! (13) Pick from each of your tribes men who are wise, discerning, and experienced, and I will appoint them as your heads.” (14) You answered me and said, “What you propose to do is good.” (15) So I took your tribal leaders, wise and experienced men, and appointed them heads over you: chiefs of thousands, chiefs of hundreds, chiefs of fifties, and chiefs of tens, and officials for your tribes. (16) I charged your magistrates at that time as follows, “Hear out your fellow men, and decide justly between any man and a fellow Israelite or a stranger. (17) You shall not be partial in judgment: hear out low and high alike. Fear no man, for judgment is God’s. And any matter that is too difficult for you, you shall bring to me and I will hear it.” (18) Thus I instructed you, at that time, about the various things that you should do. (19) We set out from Horeb and traveled the great and terrible wilderness that you saw, along the road to the hill country of the Amorites, as the LORD our God had commanded us. When we reached Kadesh-barnea, (20) I said to you, “You have come to the hill country of the Amorites which the LORD our God is giving to us. (21) See, the LORD your God has placed the land at your disposal. Go up, take possession, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you. Fear not and be not dismayed.”

ואומר אלכם בעת ההיא לאמר לא אוכל לבדי וכו' הבו לכם אנשים חכמים ונבנים וידעים. כאשר היו קרובים לכנוס לא"י והרגיש מרע"ה כי רצון הש"י הוא שע"י יהושוע יכנסו לארץ, והוא היה רוצה שיתפללו ישראל לה' שאינם רוצים במנהיג אחר, וזה שרמז להם במאמרו לא אוכל לבדי וכו' אף שמצינו שאח"כ בקש מה' שהוא יכניסם, ואומר להם כדי שיבינו שהוא צריך לתפלתם כעת... והם לא הבינו ואמרו טוב הדבר, וע"כ אמר אח"כ ואקח מאתכם אנשים חכמים וידועים וכו' ואמרו חז"ל (נדרים כ':) מה שלא הוזכר נבונים כי נבונים לא מצא וז"ש ונבונים לא מצאתי רומז כי לא מצא מי שיבין כוונתו, כי באם הבנתם את כוונתי והתפללתם אולי הייתם מועילים בתפלתכם.

When they were close to entering the land of Israel, Moshe Rabbeynu felt that it was the will of the blessed God that Yehoshua would be the one to bring them in. But still he wanted Israel to pray to God saying that they did not want another leader (than Moshe, in effect to change God's will). This is hinted in the way he said, "I alone cannot bear you." (Not alone, but if all of Israel prays, then perhaps. ) Even though we find later (at the beginning of the next parasha) that he asks God to be the one to bring them in, he says it to them here in order for them to understand that he needs their prayers now... However, they didn't understand (Moshe's hidden meaning, wanting them to pray that he should be the one to bring them in), and they said, "it is good to do what you have said [to choose other leaders]". Therefore, it is said, "Take men of wisdom, of deep understanding, and known," and after, "so I took wise men, and known, On this out sages say (Nedarim 20b), "the second time it does not say, 'of deep understanding,' because he didn't find anyone of deep understanding." This means that (because they answered him in verse 14, "it is good to choose new leaders") he didn't find anyone with an understanding of his hidden intention (as if to say), "for if you had understood my intention and prayed, maybe your prayer would have been successful."

5) Midrash Rabbah – Devarim 3:12 (Translation by Aviva Zornberg)
Therefore, when they came to pass over the Jordan, Moses reminded them of every plea that he had made on their behalf, because he thought that they would pray on his behalf that he should enter the land with them. What is the force of THOU ART TO PASS OVER? R. Tanhuma said: Moses prostrated himself before Israel and said to them: ‘You are to pass over, but not I,’ and he gave them the opportunity to pray for him, but they did not grasp it. This can be compared to a king who had many children by a noble lady. The lady was undutiful to him and he resolved to dismiss her. He said to her: ‘ Know that I am going to marry another wife.’ She replied: ‘Yes, but will you not tell me whom it is that you intend to marry.’ He replied: ‘So-and-so.’ What did the noble lady do? She summoned her children and said to them: ‘Know that your father intends to divorce me and to marry So-and-so; could you bear being subjected to her?’ They replied: ‘Yes.’ She then said to them: ‘Know what she will do to you.’ She thought that perhaps they would understand what she meant and would intercede with their father on her behalf, but they did not understand. As they did not understand, she said: ‘I will command you only for your own sake, be mindful of the honour of your father.’
So it was with Moses. When God said to him: ‘ Take thee Joshua the son of Nun, etc. (Num. XXVII:18); For thou shalt not go over this Jordan’ (Deut. III, 27), Moses said to Israel, 'And it shall come to pass, when the Lord thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it’ (ib. XI, 29); he stressed [the words] THOU ART TO PASS OVER THIS DAY, not I, [He thought] that perhaps Israel would understand. As they did not understand, he said: ‘I will command you only for your own sakes, be mindful of the honour of your Father in heaven.’ Whence do we know this? For it is said, That thou mightest fear the Lord thy God, etc. (ib. VI, 2).
In this poignant midrash, Moses simply tells the people the geography of his pain: "You are crossing over- I am not crossing over." Why can they not hear the appeal hidden within the words, especially in the context of his many prayers of intercession for them? The parable of the noble lady sharpens and deflects the anguish of misunderstanding... Where will they be without her intercession, without the dynamic family triangle of father, mother, children? But they cannot grasp their mother's crucial role in their lives. She can only warn them, somberly, "Be mindful of your father's honor." So Moses warns his people about the future without his loving mediation: "You are crossing over- I am not crossing over...Fear the Lord your God- be mindful of the honor of your Father in heaven."
- Aviva Gottlieb Zornberg, Bewilderments: Reflections on the Book of Numbers