The phrase “Love your neighbor as yourself” cannot be meant literally, since man cannot be expected to love his neighbor as himself. Moreover, Rabbi Akiva has ruled that “Your life comes first.” The Torah here enjoins us that we should wish upon our neighbor the same benefits that we wish upon ourselves. Perhaps, this is the reason for the dative instead of the accusative form of the verb phrase; we find the same in “And you shall love him as yourself” (19:34). Indeed, sometimes a person may wish upon his neighbor certain benefits, but only wealth, not wisdom and the like. But even if he wishes his cherished friend well in everything, i.e. wealth, honor, learning, and wisdom, he will not do so unstintingly; he will still insist on a larger share of the benefits. It is this shortcoming that the Torah condemned. Rather, a man should wish his fellow well in everything, just as he does in his own case, and he should place no limitations on his love. Therefore, in the case of Yonatan and David (I Shemuel 20:17), it says that Yonatan “loved him as his own soul,” since he had removed all jealousy from his heart, declaring “And you shall rule over Israel” (ibid. 23:17).
It is a commandment to love each fellow Israelite as oneself, as it is stated, You shall love your fellow as yourself. Therefore one must speak in praise of his fellow and be concerned for his property, as one is concerned about one’s own property and honor. One who gains personal honor by shaming another has no place in the world to come.
(2) And he [the speaker of lashon hara] also transgresses (Vayikra 19:18): "And you shall love your neighbor as yourself," whereby we have been commanded to be as solicitous for our friend's money as we are for our own, and to be solicitous of his honor, and to speak in his praise, as we are solicitous for our own honor. And if one speaks or receives lashon hara and rechiluth against his friend, though it be true, it is apparent that he does not love him at all — how much more so is he in violation of "as yourself!"
והוא שהתורה לא אסרה מה שאסרה ולא צוותה מה שצוותה אלא מפני זאת הסיבה ר"ל כדי שנתרחק מן הצד האחד יותר על צד ההרגל,...
וזה כולו אמנם ציוהו השם להתרחק מקצה רוב התאוה רוחק גדול ולצאת מן המיצוע אל צד העדר הרגשת ההנאה מעט עד שתתיישב ותתחזק בנפשותינו תכונת הזהירות:
The Law did not lay down its prohibitions, or enjoin its commandments, except for just this purpose, namely, that by its disciplinary effects we may per- sistently maintain the proper distance from either extreme....
If you should examine most of the commandments from this point of view, you would find that they are all for the discipline and guidance of the faculties of the soul. Thus, the Law forbids revenge, the bearing of a grudge, and blood-revenge by saying, "Thou shalt not avenge nor bear any grudge"; "thou shalt surely unload with him" (the ass of him who hates you); "thou shalt surely help him to lift them up again" (thy brother's ass or ox which has fallen by the way). These commandments are intended to weaken the force of wrath or anger.
Just as it is forbidden to shame one's friend in matters between man and his Maker, so is it forbidden to shame him in matters between man and his neighbor, even if what is said contains no admixture of falsehood. ...if one sees another asking his friend to lend him money ...or [asking him] for some other favor, which he does not grant him; or [if he sees one transgressing] negative commandments between man and his neighbor, such as taking revenge and bearing a grudge, ...
And one who transgresses this, aside from stumbling into the sin of lashon hara, also stumbles in this into the transgression of (Vayikra 19:18): "You shall not bear a grudge." And if he intends by what he says to take revenge of him for this, and to publicize the other's perverseness, he transgresses in addition (Ibid) "You shall not take revenge," aside from the issur of lashon hara.
(8-9) Sometimes the speaker also transgresses (Vayikra 19:18): "You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge," as when he [the speaker] bears hatred towards him, having asked him to lend him something and having been denied; and, thereafter, seeing something demeaning in him, he publicizes it before others. From the beginning, he transgresses "You shall not bear a grudge," by bearing the grudge in his heart. And later, when he takes revenge and reveals the demeaning thing he has seen in him, he transgresses "You shall not take revenge." But he must wipe the thing from his heart!


