How Easy or Hard is Teshuvah? "Going in Deep: What is Takes to Really Change" by Rabbi Shai Held (Copy)

(א) וְהָיָה֩ כִֽי־יָבֹ֨אוּ עָלֶ֜יךָ כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֣ים הָאֵ֗לֶּה הַבְּרָכָה֙ וְהַקְּלָלָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר נָתַ֖תִּי לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וַהֲשֵׁבֹתָ֙ אֶל־לְבָבֶ֔ךָ בְּכׇ֨ל־הַגּוֹיִ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֧ר הִדִּיחֲךָ֛ יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ שָֽׁמָּה׃ (ב) וְשַׁבְתָּ֞ עַד־יְהֹוָ֤ה אֱלֹהֶ֙יךָ֙ וְשָׁמַעְתָּ֣ בְקֹל֔וֹ כְּכֹ֛ל אֲשֶׁר־אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּ֑וֹם אַתָּ֣ה וּבָנֶ֔יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֖ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃ (ג) וְשָׁ֨ב יְהֹוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ אֶת־שְׁבוּתְךָ֖ וְרִחֲמֶ֑ךָ וְשָׁ֗ב וְקִבֶּצְךָ֙ מִכׇּל־הָ֣עַמִּ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֧ר הֱפִֽיצְךָ֛ יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ שָֽׁמָּה׃ (ד) אִם־יִהְיֶ֥ה נִֽדַּחֲךָ֖ בִּקְצֵ֣ה הַשָּׁמָ֑יִם מִשָּׁ֗ם יְקַבֶּצְךָ֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ וּמִשָּׁ֖ם יִקָּחֶֽךָ׃ (ה) וֶהֱבִיאֲךָ֞ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֗יךָ אֶל־הָאָ֛רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־יָרְשׁ֥וּ אֲבֹתֶ֖יךָ וִֽירִשְׁתָּ֑הּ וְהֵיטִֽבְךָ֥ וְהִרְבְּךָ֖ מֵאֲבֹתֶֽיךָ׃ (ו) וּמָ֨ל יְהֹוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ אֶת־לְבָבְךָ֖ וְאֶת־לְבַ֣ב זַרְעֶ֑ךָ לְאַהֲבָ֞ה אֶת־יְהֹוָ֧ה אֱלֹהֶ֛יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֥ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשְׁךָ֖ לְמַ֥עַן חַיֶּֽיךָ׃ (ז) וְנָתַן֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הָאָל֖וֹת הָאֵ֑לֶּה עַל־אֹיְבֶ֥יךָ וְעַל־שֹׂנְאֶ֖יךָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר רְדָפֽוּךָ׃ (ח) וְאַתָּ֣ה תָשׁ֔וּב וְשָׁמַעְתָּ֖ בְּק֣וֹל יְהֹוָ֑ה וְעָשִׂ֙יתָ֙ אֶת־כׇּל־מִצְוֺתָ֔יו אֲשֶׁ֛ר אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּֽוֹם׃ (ט) וְהוֹתִֽירְךָ֩ יְהֹוָ֨ה אֱלֹהֶ֜יךָ בְּכֹ֣ל ׀ מַעֲשֵׂ֣ה יָדֶ֗ךָ בִּפְרִ֨י בִטְנְךָ֜ וּבִפְרִ֧י בְהֶמְתְּךָ֛ וּבִפְרִ֥י אַדְמָתְךָ֖ לְטֹבָ֑ה כִּ֣י ׀ יָשׁ֣וּב יְהֹוָ֗ה לָשׂ֤וּשׂ עָלֶ֙יךָ֙ לְט֔וֹב כַּאֲשֶׁר־שָׂ֖שׂ עַל־אֲבֹתֶֽיךָ׃ (י) כִּ֣י תִשְׁמַ֗ע בְּקוֹל֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ לִשְׁמֹ֤ר מִצְוֺתָיו֙ וְחֻקֹּתָ֔יו הַכְּתוּבָ֕ה בְּסֵ֥פֶר הַתּוֹרָ֖ה הַזֶּ֑ה כִּ֤י תָשׁוּב֙ אֶל־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בְּכׇל־לְבָבְךָ֖ וּבְכׇל־נַפְשֶֽׁךָ׃ {ס}

(יא) כִּ֚י הַמִּצְוָ֣ה הַזֹּ֔את אֲשֶׁ֛ר אָנֹכִ֥י מְצַוְּךָ֖ הַיּ֑וֹם לֹא־נִפְלֵ֥את הִוא֙ מִמְּךָ֔ וְלֹ֥א רְחֹקָ֖ה הִֽוא׃ (יב) לֹ֥א בַשָּׁמַ֖יִם הִ֑וא לֵאמֹ֗ר מִ֣י יַעֲלֶה־לָּ֤נוּ הַשָּׁמַ֙יְמָה֙ וְיִקָּחֶ֣הָ לָּ֔נוּ וְיַשְׁמִעֵ֥נוּ אֹתָ֖הּ וְנַעֲשֶֽׂנָּה׃ (יג) וְלֹא־מֵעֵ֥בֶר לַיָּ֖ם הִ֑וא לֵאמֹ֗ר מִ֣י יַעֲבׇר־לָ֜נוּ אֶל־עֵ֤בֶר הַיָּם֙ וְיִקָּחֶ֣הָ לָּ֔נוּ וְיַשְׁמִעֵ֥נוּ אֹתָ֖הּ וְנַעֲשֶֽׂנָּה׃ (יד) כִּֽי־קָר֥וֹב אֵלֶ֛יךָ הַדָּבָ֖ר מְאֹ֑ד בְּפִ֥יךָ וּבִֽלְבָבְךָ֖ לַעֲשֹׂתֽוֹ׃ {ס}

(טו) רְאֵ֨ה נָתַ֤תִּי לְפָנֶ֙יךָ֙ הַיּ֔וֹם אֶת־הַֽחַיִּ֖ים וְאֶת־הַטּ֑וֹב וְאֶת־הַמָּ֖וֶת וְאֶת־הָרָֽע׃ (טז) אֲשֶׁ֨ר אָנֹכִ֣י מְצַוְּךָ֮ הַיּוֹם֒ לְאַהֲבָ֞ה אֶת־יְהֹוָ֤ה אֱלֹהֶ֙יךָ֙ לָלֶ֣כֶת בִּדְרָכָ֔יו וְלִשְׁמֹ֛ר מִצְוֺתָ֥יו וְחֻקֹּתָ֖יו וּמִשְׁפָּטָ֑יו וְחָיִ֣יתָ וְרָבִ֔יתָ וּבֵֽרַכְךָ֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ בָּאָ֕רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־אַתָּ֥ה בָא־שָׁ֖מָּה לְרִשְׁתָּֽהּ׃ (יז) וְאִם־יִפְנֶ֥ה לְבָבְךָ֖ וְלֹ֣א תִשְׁמָ֑ע וְנִדַּחְתָּ֗ וְהִֽשְׁתַּחֲוִ֛יתָ לֵאלֹהִ֥ים אֲחֵרִ֖ים וַעֲבַדְתָּֽם׃ (יח) הִגַּ֤דְתִּי לָכֶם֙ הַיּ֔וֹם כִּ֥י אָבֹ֖ד תֹּאבֵד֑וּן לֹא־תַאֲרִיכֻ֤ן יָמִים֙ עַל־הָ֣אֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֨ר אַתָּ֤ה עֹבֵר֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֔ן לָב֥וֹא שָׁ֖מָּה לְרִשְׁתָּֽהּ׃ (יט) הַעִדֹ֨תִי בָכֶ֣ם הַיּוֹם֮ אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֒רֶץ֒ הַחַיִּ֤ים וְהַמָּ֙וֶת֙ נָתַ֣תִּי לְפָנֶ֔יךָ הַבְּרָכָ֖ה וְהַקְּלָלָ֑ה וּבָֽחַרְתָּ֙ בַּחַיִּ֔ים לְמַ֥עַן תִּֽחְיֶ֖ה אַתָּ֥ה וְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃ (כ) לְאַֽהֲבָה֙ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֔יךָ לִשְׁמֹ֥עַ בְּקֹל֖וֹ וּלְדׇבְקָה־ב֑וֹ כִּ֣י ה֤וּא חַיֶּ֙יךָ֙ וְאֹ֣רֶךְ יָמֶ֔יךָ לָשֶׁ֣בֶת עַל־הָאֲדָמָ֗ה אֲשֶׁר֩ נִשְׁבַּ֨ע יְהֹוָ֧ה לַאֲבֹתֶ֛יךָ לְאַבְרָהָ֛ם לְיִצְחָ֥ק וּֽלְיַעֲקֹ֖ב לָתֵ֥ת לָהֶֽם׃ {פ}

(1) When all these things befall you—the blessing and the curse that I have set before you—and you return them to your heart amidst the various nations to which the LORD your God has banished you, (2) and you return toward the LORD your God, and you and your children heed His command with all your heart and soul, just as I enjoin upon you this day, (3) then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and take you back in love.

He will bring you together again from all the peoples where the LORD your God has scattered you. (4) Even if your outcasts are at the ends of the world, from there the LORD your God will gather you, from there He will fetch you. (5) And the LORD your God will bring you to the land that your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it; and He will make you more prosperous and more numerous than your fathers.

(6) Then the LORD your God will open up your heart and the hearts of your offspring to love the LORD your God with all your heart and soul, in order that you may live. (7) The LORD your God will inflict all those curses upon the enemies and foes who persecuted you. (8) You, however, will turn (away) and listen to the voice of LORD and obey all His commandments that I enjoin upon you this day. (9) And the LORD your God will grant you abounding prosperity in all your undertakings, in the issue of your womb, the offspring of your cattle, and the produce of your soil. For the LORD will again delight in your well-being, as He did in that of your fathers, (10) since you will be heeding the LORD your God and keeping His commandments and laws that are recorded in this book of the Teaching—once you return unto the LORD your God with all your heart and soul.

(11) Surely, this Instruction which I enjoin upon you this day is not too baffling for you, nor is it beyond reach. (12) It is not in the heavens, that you should say, “Who among us can go up to the heavens and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” (13) Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who among us can cross to the other side of the sea and get it for us and impart it to us, that we may observe it?” (14) No, the thing is very close to you, in your mouth and in your heart, to observe it.

(15) See, I set before you this day life and prosperity, death and adversity. (16) For I command you this day, to love the LORD your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments, His laws, and His rules, that you may thrive and increase, and that the LORD your God may bless you in the land that you are about to enter and possess. (17) But if your heart turns away and you give no heed, and are lured into the worship and service of other gods, (18) I declare to you this day that you shall certainly perish; you shall not long endure on the soil that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. (19) I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life—if you and your offspring would live— (20) by loving the LORD your God, heeding His commands, and holding fast to Him. For thereby you shall have life and shall long endure upon the soil that the LORD swore to your ancestors, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give to them.

The Boxer
Song by Simon & Garfunkel
I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocketful of mumbles
Such are promises
All lies and jest
Still, a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest
When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station
Running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie
Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there
La-la-la-la-la-la-la
Now the years are rolling by me
They are rocking evenly
And I am older than I once was
And younger than I'll be
But that's not unusual
No, it isn't strange
After changes upon changes
We are more or less the same
After changes we are
More or less the same
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie
Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
Wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Leading me
To going home
In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of every glove that laid him down
And cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains, he's still remains
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie
Lie la lie, lie la lie la lie la lie, la la lie la lie

(א) בַּחֹ֙דֶשׁ֙ הַשְּׁמִינִ֔י בִּשְׁנַ֥ת שְׁתַּ֖יִם לְדָרְיָ֑וֶשׁ הָיָ֣ה דְבַר־יְהֹוָ֗ה אֶל־זְכַרְיָה֙ בֶּן־בֶּ֣רֶכְיָ֔ה בֶּן־עִדּ֥וֹ הַנָּבִ֖יא לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ב) קָצַ֧ף יְהֹוָ֛ה עַל־אֲבֽוֹתֵיכֶ֖ם קָֽצֶף׃ (ג) וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֲלֵהֶ֗ם כֹּ֤ה אָמַר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֔וֹת שׁ֣וּבוּ אֵלַ֔י נְאֻ֖ם יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֑וֹת וְאָשׁ֣וּב אֲלֵיכֶ֔ם אָמַ֖ר יְהֹוָ֥ה צְבָאֽוֹת׃

(ד) אַל־תִּהְי֣וּ כַאֲבֹֽתֵיכֶ֡ם אֲשֶׁ֣ר קָרְאֽוּ־אֲלֵיהֶם֩ הַנְּבִיאִ֨ים הָרִֽאשֹׁנִ֜ים לֵאמֹ֗ר כֹּ֤ה אָמַר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֔וֹת שׁ֤וּבוּ נָא֙ מִדַּרְכֵיכֶ֣ם הָרָעִ֔ים (ומעליליכם) [וּמַֽעַלְלֵיכֶ֖ם] הָֽרָעִ֑ים וְלֹ֥א שָׁמְע֛וּ וְלֹֽא־הִקְשִׁ֥יבוּ אֵלַ֖י נְאֻם־יְהֹוָֽה׃ (ה) אֲבֽוֹתֵיכֶ֖ם אַיֵּה־הֵ֑ם וְהַ֨נְּבִאִ֔ים הַלְעוֹלָ֖ם יִֽחְיֽוּ׃ (ו)

אַ֣ךְ ׀ דְּבָרַ֣י וְחֻקַּ֗י אֲשֶׁ֤ר צִוִּ֙יתִי֙ אֶת־עֲבָדַ֣י הַנְּבִיאִ֔ים הֲל֥וֹא הִשִּׂ֖יגוּ אֲבֹתֵיכֶ֑ם וַיָּשׁ֣וּבוּ וַיֹּאמְר֗וּ כַּאֲשֶׁ֨ר זָמַ֜ם יְהֹוָ֤ה צְבָאוֹת֙ לַעֲשׂ֣וֹת לָ֔נוּ כִּדְרָכֵ֙ינוּ֙ וּכְמַ֣עֲלָלֵ֔ינוּ כֵּ֖ן עָשָׂ֥ה אִתָּֽנוּ׃ {פ}
(ז) בְּיוֹם֩ עֶשְׂרִ֨ים וְאַרְבָּעָ֜ה לְעַשְׁתֵּֽי־עָשָׂ֥ר חֹ֙דֶשׁ֙ הוּא־חֹ֣דֶשׁ שְׁבָ֔ט בִּשְׁנַ֥ת שְׁתַּ֖יִם לְדָרְיָ֑וֶשׁ הָיָ֣ה דְבַר־יְהֹוָ֗ה אֶל־זְכַרְיָה֙ בֶּן־בֶּ֣רֶכְיָ֔הוּ בֶּן־עִדּ֥וֹא הַנָּבִ֖יא לֵאמֹֽר׃ (ח) רָאִ֣יתִי ׀ הַלַּ֗יְלָה וְהִנֵּה־אִישׁ֙ רֹכֵב֙ עַל־ס֣וּס אָדֹ֔ם וְה֣וּא עֹמֵ֔ד בֵּ֥ין הַהֲדַסִּ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֣ר בַּמְּצֻלָ֑ה וְאַחֲרָיו֙ סוּסִ֣ים אֲדֻמִּ֔ים שְׂרֻקִּ֖ים וּלְבָנִֽים׃ (ט) וָאֹמַ֖ר מָה־אֵ֣לֶּה אֲדֹנִ֑י וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֵלַ֗י הַמַּלְאָךְ֙ הַדֹּבֵ֣ר בִּ֔י אֲנִ֥י אַרְאֶ֖ךָּ מָה־הֵ֥מָּה אֵֽלֶּה׃ (י) וַיַּ֗עַן הָאִ֛ישׁ הָעֹמֵ֥ד בֵּין־הַהֲדַסִּ֖ים וַיֹּאמַ֑ר אֵ֚לֶּה אֲשֶׁ֣ר שָׁלַ֣ח יְהֹוָ֔ה לְהִתְהַלֵּ֖ךְ בָּאָֽרֶץ׃ (יא) וַֽיַּעֲנ֞וּ אֶת־מַלְאַ֣ךְ יְהֹוָ֗ה הָֽעֹמֵד֙ בֵּ֣ין הַהֲדַסִּ֔ים וַיֹּאמְר֖וּ הִתְהַלַּ֣כְנוּ בָאָ֑רֶץ וְהִנֵּ֥ה כׇל־הָאָ֖רֶץ יֹשֶׁ֥בֶת וְשֹׁקָֽטֶת׃ (יב) וַיַּ֣עַן מַלְאַךְ־יְהֹוָה֮ וַיֹּאמַר֒ יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֔וֹת עַד־מָתַ֗י אַתָּה֙ לֹֽא־תְרַחֵ֣ם אֶת־יְרוּשָׁלַ֔͏ִם וְאֵ֖ת עָרֵ֣י יְהוּדָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר זָעַ֔מְתָּה זֶ֖ה שִׁבְעִ֥ים שָׁנָֽה׃ (יג) וַיַּ֣עַן יְהֹוָ֗ה אֶת־הַמַּלְאָ֛ךְ הַדֹּבֵ֥ר בִּ֖י דְּבָרִ֣ים טוֹבִ֑ים דְּבָרִ֖ים נִחֻמִֽים׃ (יד) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֵלַ֗י הַמַּלְאָךְ֙ הַדֹּבֵ֣ר בִּ֔י קְרָ֣א לֵאמֹ֔ר כֹּ֥ה אָמַ֖ר יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֑וֹת קִנֵּ֧אתִי לִירוּשָׁלַ֛͏ִם וּלְצִיּ֖וֹן קִנְאָ֥ה גְדוֹלָֽה׃ (טו) וְקֶ֤צֶף גָּדוֹל֙ אֲנִ֣י קֹצֵ֔ף עַל־הַגּוֹיִ֖ם הַשַּֽׁאֲנַנִּ֑ים אֲשֶׁ֤ר אֲנִי֙ קָצַ֣פְתִּי מְּעָ֔ט וְהֵ֖מָּה עָזְר֥וּ לְרָעָֽה׃ (טז)

לָכֵ֞ן כֹּֽה־אָמַ֣ר יְהֹוָ֗ה שַׁ֤בְתִּי לִירוּשָׁלַ֙͏ִם֙ בְּֽרַחֲמִ֔ים בֵּיתִי֙ יִבָּ֣נֶה בָּ֔הּ נְאֻ֖ם יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֑וֹת (וקוה) [וְקָ֥ו] יִנָּטֶ֖ה עַל־יְרוּשָׁלָֽ͏ִם׃ (יז) ע֣וֹד ׀ קְרָ֣א לֵאמֹ֗ר כֹּ֤ה אָמַר֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֔וֹת ע֛וֹד תְּפוּצֶ֥נָה עָרַ֖י מִטּ֑וֹב וְנִחַ֨ם יְהֹוָ֥ה עוֹד֙ אֶת־צִיּ֔וֹן וּבָחַ֥ר ע֖וֹד בִּירוּשָׁלָֽ͏ִם׃ {פ}

(1) In the eighth month of the second year of Darius, this word of the LORD came to the prophet Zechariah son of Berechiah son of Iddo: (2) The LORD was very angry with your fathers. (3) Say to them further:
Thus said the LORD of Hosts: Turn back to me—says the LORD of Hosts—and I will turn back to you—said the LORD of Hosts.

(4) Do not be like your fathers! For when the earlier prophets called to them, “Thus said the LORD of Hosts: Come, turn back from your evil ways and your evil deeds, they did not obey or give heed to Me—declares the LORD. (5) Where are your fathers now? And did the prophets live forever?

(6) But the warnings and the decrees with which I charged My servants the prophets overtook your fathers—did they not?—and in the end they had to admit, ‘The LORD has dealt with us according to our ways and our deeds, just as He purposed.’”
(7) On the twenty-fourth day of the eleventh month of the second year of Darius—the month of Shebat—this word of the LORD came to the prophet Zechariah son of Berechiah son of Iddo: (8) In the night, I had a vision. I saw a man, mounted on a bay horse, standing among the myrtles-b in the Deep, and behind him were bay, sorrel, and white horses. (9) I asked, “What are those, my lord?” And the angel who talked with me answered, “I will let you know what they are.” (10) Then the man who was standing among the myrtles-b spoke up and said, “These were sent out by the LORD to roam the earth.”
(11) And in fact, they reported to the angel of the LORD who was standing among the myrtles,-b “We have roamed the earth, and have found all the earth dwelling in tranquility.”

(12) Thereupon the angel of the LORD exclaimed, “O LORD of Hosts! How long will You withhold pardon from Jerusalem and the towns of Judah, which You placed under a curse seventy years ago?”


(13) The LORD replied with kind, comforting words to the angel who talked with me. (14) Then the angel who talked with me said to me: “Proclaim! Thus said the LORD of Hosts: I am very jealous for Jerusalem—for Zion— (15) and I am very angry with those nations that are at ease; for I was only angry a little, but they overdid the punishment.

(16) Assuredly, thus said the LORD: I graciously return to Jerusalem. My House shall be built in her—declares the LORD of Hosts—the measuring line is being applied to Jerusalem. (17) Proclaim further: Thus said the LORD of Hosts: My towns shall yet overflow with bounty. For the LORD will again comfort Zion; He will choose Jerusalem again.”

הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ ה' אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה.

חַדֵּשׁ יָמֵינוּ כְּקֶדֶם:

Return us, O God, unto You and we shall return. Renew our days as at the beginning.