LGR Romantic Relationships: Firm Boundaries in Sexual Relationships
(א) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר יְהֹוָ֖ה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה לֵּאמֹֽר׃ (ב) דַּבֵּר֙ אֶל־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל וְאָמַרְתָּ֖ אֲלֵהֶ֑ם אֲנִ֖י יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵיכֶֽם׃ (ג) כְּמַעֲשֵׂ֧ה אֶֽרֶץ־מִצְרַ֛יִם אֲשֶׁ֥ר יְשַׁבְתֶּם־בָּ֖הּ לֹ֣א תַעֲשׂ֑וּ וּכְמַעֲשֵׂ֣ה אֶֽרֶץ־כְּנַ֡עַן אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֲנִי֩ מֵבִ֨יא אֶתְכֶ֥ם שָׁ֙מָּה֙ לֹ֣א תַעֲשׂ֔וּ וּבְחֻקֹּתֵיהֶ֖ם לֹ֥א תֵלֵֽכוּ׃ (ד) אֶת־מִשְׁפָּטַ֧י תַּעֲשׂ֛וּ וְאֶת־חֻקֹּתַ֥י תִּשְׁמְר֖וּ לָלֶ֣כֶת בָּהֶ֑ם אֲנִ֖י יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֵיכֶֽם׃ (ה) וּשְׁמַרְתֶּ֤ם אֶת־חֻקֹּתַי֙ וְאֶת־מִשְׁפָּטַ֔י אֲשֶׁ֨ר יַעֲשֶׂ֥ה אֹתָ֛ם הָאָדָ֖ם וָחַ֣י בָּהֶ֑ם אֲנִ֖י יְהֹוָֽה׃ {ס} (ו) אִ֥ישׁ אִישׁ֙ אֶל־כׇּל־שְׁאֵ֣ר בְּשָׂר֔וֹ לֹ֥א תִקְרְב֖וּ לְגַלּ֣וֹת עֶרְוָ֑ה אֲנִ֖י יְהֹוָֽה׃ {ס} (ז) עֶרְוַ֥ת אָבִ֛יךָ וְעֶרְוַ֥ת אִמְּךָ֖ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה אִמְּךָ֣ הִ֔וא לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָֽהּ׃ {ס} (ח) עֶרְוַ֥ת אֵֽשֶׁת־אָבִ֖יךָ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה עֶרְוַ֥ת אָבִ֖יךָ הִֽוא׃ {ס} (ט) עֶרְוַ֨ת אֲחֽוֹתְךָ֤ בַת־אָבִ֙יךָ֙ א֣וֹ בַת־אִמֶּ֔ךָ מוֹלֶ֣דֶת בַּ֔יִת א֖וֹ מוֹלֶ֣דֶת ח֑וּץ לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָֽן׃ {ס} (י) עֶרְוַ֤ת בַּת־בִּנְךָ֙ א֣וֹ בַֽת־בִּתְּךָ֔ לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָ֑ן כִּ֥י עֶרְוָתְךָ֖ הֵֽנָּה׃ {ס} (יא) עֶרְוַ֨ת בַּת־אֵ֤שֶׁת אָבִ֙יךָ֙ מוֹלֶ֣דֶת אָבִ֔יךָ אֲחוֹתְךָ֖ הִ֑וא לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָֽהּ׃ {ס} (יב) עֶרְוַ֥ת אֲחוֹת־אָבִ֖יךָ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה שְׁאֵ֥ר אָבִ֖יךָ הִֽוא׃ {ס} (יג) עֶרְוַ֥ת אֲחֽוֹת־אִמְּךָ֖ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה כִּֽי־שְׁאֵ֥ר אִמְּךָ֖ הִֽוא׃ {ס} (יד) עֶרְוַ֥ת אֲחִֽי־אָבִ֖יךָ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה אֶל־אִשְׁתּוֹ֙ לֹ֣א תִקְרָ֔ב דֹּדָֽתְךָ֖ הִֽוא׃ {ס} (טו) עֶרְוַ֥ת כַּלָּֽתְךָ֖ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה אֵ֤שֶׁת בִּנְךָ֙ הִ֔וא לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָֽהּ׃ {ס} (טז) עֶרְוַ֥ת אֵֽשֶׁת־אָחִ֖יךָ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה עֶרְוַ֥ת אָחִ֖יךָ הִֽוא׃ {ס} (יז) עֶרְוַ֥ת אִשָּׁ֛ה וּבִתָּ֖הּ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה אֶֽת־בַּת־בְּנָ֞הּ וְאֶת־בַּת־בִּתָּ֗הּ לֹ֤א תִקַּח֙ לְגַלּ֣וֹת עֶרְוָתָ֔הּ שַׁאֲרָ֥ה הֵ֖נָּה זִמָּ֥ה הִֽוא׃ (יח) וְאִשָּׁ֥ה אֶל־אֲחֹתָ֖הּ לֹ֣א תִקָּ֑ח לִצְרֹ֗ר לְגַלּ֧וֹת עֶרְוָתָ֛הּ עָלֶ֖יהָ בְּחַיֶּֽיהָ׃ (יט) וְאֶל־אִשָּׁ֖ה בְּנִדַּ֣ת טֻמְאָתָ֑הּ לֹ֣א תִקְרַ֔ב לְגַלּ֖וֹת עֶרְוָתָֽהּ׃ (כ) וְאֶל־אֵ֙שֶׁת֙ עֲמִֽיתְךָ֔ לֹא־תִתֵּ֥ן שְׁכׇבְתְּךָ֖ לְזָ֑רַע לְטׇמְאָה־בָֽהּ׃ (כא) וּמִֽזַּרְעֲךָ֥ לֹא־תִתֵּ֖ן לְהַעֲבִ֣יר לַמֹּ֑לֶךְ וְלֹ֧א תְחַלֵּ֛ל אֶת־שֵׁ֥ם אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ אֲנִ֥י יְהֹוָֽה׃ (כב) וְאֶ֨ת־זָכָ֔ר לֹ֥א תִשְׁכַּ֖ב מִשְׁכְּבֵ֣י אִשָּׁ֑ה תּוֹעֵבָ֖ה הִֽוא׃ (כג) וּבְכׇל־בְּהֵמָ֛ה לֹא־תִתֵּ֥ן שְׁכׇבְתְּךָ֖ לְטׇמְאָה־בָ֑הּ וְאִשָּׁ֗ה לֹֽא־תַעֲמֹ֞ד לִפְנֵ֧י בְהֵמָ֛ה לְרִבְעָ֖הּ תֶּ֥בֶל הֽוּא׃ (כד) אַל־תִּֽטַּמְּא֖וּ בְּכׇל־אֵ֑לֶּה כִּ֤י בְכׇל־אֵ֙לֶּה֙ נִטְמְא֣וּ הַגּוֹיִ֔ם אֲשֶׁר־אֲנִ֥י מְשַׁלֵּ֖חַ מִפְּנֵיכֶֽם׃

(1) The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: (2) Speak to the Israelite people and say to them:
I the LORD am your God.
(3) You shall not copy the practices of the land of Egypt where you dwelt, or of the land of Canaan to which I am taking you; nor shall you follow their laws. (4) My rules alone shall you observe, and faithfully follow My laws: I the LORD am your God. (5) You shall keep My laws and My rules, by the pursuit of which man shall live: I am the LORD.

(6) None of you shall come near anyone of his own flesh to uncover nakedness: I am the LORD. (7) Your father’s nakedness, that is, the nakedness of your mother, you shall not uncover; she is your mother—you shall not uncover her nakedness.

(8) Do not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife;-a it is the nakedness of your father.

(9) The nakedness of your sister—your father’s daughter or your mother’s, whether born into the household or outside—do not uncover their nakedness.

(10) The nakedness of your son’s daughter, or of your daughter’s daughter—do not uncover their nakedness; for their nakedness is yours.

(11) The nakedness of your father’s wife’s daughter, who was born into your father’s household—she is your sister; do not uncover her nakedness.

(12) Do not uncover the nakedness of your father’s sister; she is your father’s flesh. (13) Do not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister; for she is your mother’s flesh.

(14) Do not uncover the nakedness of your father’s brother: do not approach his wife; she is your aunt.

(15) Do not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law: she is your son’s wife; you shall not uncover her nakedness.

(16) Do not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife; it is the nakedness of your brother.-a (17) Do not uncover the nakedness of a woman and her daughter; nor shall you marry her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter and uncover her nakedness: they are kindred; it is depravity.

(18) Do not marry a woman as a rival to her sister and uncover her nakedness in the other’s lifetime.

(19) Do not come near a woman during her period of uncleanness to uncover her nakedness. (20) Do not have carnal relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.

(21) Do not allow any of your offspring to be offered up to Molech, and do not profane the name of your God: I am the LORD.

(22) Do not lie with a male as one lies with a woman; it is an abhorrence.

(23) Do not have carnal relations with any beast and defile yourself thereby; and let no woman lend herself to a beast to mate with it; it is perversion.

(24) Do not defile yourselves in any of those ways, for it is by such that the nations that I am casting out before you defiled themselves.

(א) וַיְהִ֣י אַחֲרֵי־כֵ֗ן וּלְאַבְשָׁל֧וֹם בֶּן־דָּוִ֛ד אָח֥וֹת יָפָ֖ה וּשְׁמָ֣הּ תָּמָ֑ר וַיֶּאֱהָבֶ֖הָ אַמְנ֥וֹן בֶּן־דָּוִֽד׃ (ב) וַיֵּ֨צֶר לְאַמְנ֜וֹן לְהִתְחַלּ֗וֹת בַּֽעֲבוּר֙ תָּמָ֣ר אֲחֹת֔וֹ כִּ֥י בְתוּלָ֖ה הִ֑יא וַיִּפָּלֵא֙ בְּעֵינֵ֣י אַמְנ֔וֹן לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת לָ֖הּ מְאֽוּמָה׃ (ג) וּלְאַמְנ֣וֹן רֵ֗עַ וּשְׁמוֹ֙ יֽוֹנָדָ֔ב בֶּן־שִׁמְעָ֖ה אֲחִ֣י דָוִ֑ד וְי֣וֹנָדָ֔ב אִ֥ישׁ חָכָ֖ם מְאֹֽד׃ (ד) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ מַדּ֣וּעַ אַ֠תָּ֠ה כָּ֣כָה דַּ֤ל בֶּן־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ בַּבֹּ֣קֶר בַּבֹּ֔קֶר הֲל֖וֹא תַּגִּ֣יד לִ֑י וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ אַמְנ֔וֹן אֶת־תָּמָ֗ר אֲח֛וֹת אַבְשָׁלֹ֥ם אָחִ֖י אֲנִ֥י אֹהֵֽב׃ (ה) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ יְה֣וֹנָדָ֔ב שְׁכַ֥ב עַל־מִשְׁכָּבְךָ֖ וְהִתְחָ֑ל וּבָ֧א אָבִ֣יךָ לִרְאוֹתֶ֗ךָ וְאָמַרְתָּ֣ אֵלָ֡יו תָּ֣בֹא נָא֩ תָמָ֨ר אֲחוֹתִ֜י וְתַבְרֵ֣נִי לֶ֗חֶם וְעָשְׂתָ֤ה לְעֵינַי֙ אֶת־הַבִּרְיָ֔ה לְמַ֙עַן֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶרְאֶ֔ה וְאָכַלְתִּ֖י מִיָּדָֽהּ׃ (ו) וַיִּשְׁכַּ֥ב אַמְנ֖וֹן וַיִּתְחָ֑ל וַיָּבֹ֨א הַמֶּ֜לֶךְ לִרְאוֹת֗וֹ וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אַמְנ֤וֹן אֶל־הַמֶּ֙לֶךְ֙ תָּבוֹא־נָ֞א תָּמָ֣ר אֲחֹתִ֗י וּתְלַבֵּ֤ב לְעֵינַי֙ שְׁתֵּ֣י לְבִב֔וֹת וְאֶבְרֶ֖ה מִיָּדָֽהּ׃ (ז) וַיִּשְׁלַ֥ח דָּוִ֛ד אֶל־תָּמָ֖ר הַבַּ֣יְתָה לֵאמֹ֑ר לְכִ֣י נָ֗א בֵּ֚ית אַמְנ֣וֹן אָחִ֔יךְ וַעֲשִׂי־ל֖וֹ הַבִּרְיָֽה׃ (ח) וַתֵּ֣לֶךְ תָּמָ֗ר בֵּ֛ית אַמְנ֥וֹן אָחִ֖יהָ וְה֣וּא שֹׁכֵ֑ב וַתִּקַּ֨ח אֶת־הַבָּצֵ֤ק (ותלוש) [וַתָּ֙לׇשׁ֙] וַתְּלַבֵּ֣ב לְעֵינָ֔יו וַתְּבַשֵּׁ֖ל אֶת־הַלְּבִבֽוֹת׃ (ט) וַתִּקַּ֤ח אֶת־הַמַּשְׂרֵת֙ וַתִּצֹ֣ק לְפָנָ֔יו וַיְמָאֵ֖ן לֶאֱכ֑וֹל וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אַמְנ֗וֹן הוֹצִ֤יאוּ כׇל־אִישׁ֙ מֵעָלַ֔י וַיֵּצְא֥וּ כׇל־אִ֖ישׁ מֵעָלָֽיו׃ (י) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אַמְנ֜וֹן אֶל־תָּמָ֗ר הָבִ֤יאִי הַבִּרְיָה֙ הַחֶ֔דֶר וְאֶבְרֶ֖ה מִיָּדֵ֑ךְ וַתִּקַּ֣ח תָּמָ֗ר אֶת־הַלְּבִבוֹת֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָשָׂ֔תָה וַתָּבֵ֛א לְאַמְנ֥וֹן אָחִ֖יהָ הֶחָֽדְרָה׃ (יא) וַתַּגֵּ֥שׁ אֵלָ֖יו לֶאֱכֹ֑ל וַיַּֽחֲזֶק־בָּהּ֙ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָ֔הּ בּ֛וֹאִי שִׁכְבִ֥י עִמִּ֖י אֲחוֹתִֽי׃ (יב) וַתֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ אַל־אָחִי֙ אַל־תְּעַנֵּ֔נִי כִּ֛י לֹא־יֵעָשֶׂ֥ה כֵ֖ן בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל אַֽל־תַּעֲשֵׂ֖ה אֶת־הַנְּבָלָ֥ה הַזֹּֽאת׃ (יג) וַאֲנִ֗י אָ֤נָה אוֹלִיךְ֙ אֶת־חֶרְפָּתִ֔י וְאַתָּ֗ה תִּֽהְיֶ֛ה כְּאַחַ֥ד הַנְּבָלִ֖ים בְּיִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וְעַתָּה֙ דַּבֶּר־נָ֣א אֶל־הַמֶּ֔לֶךְ כִּ֛י לֹ֥א יִמְנָעֵ֖נִי מִמֶּֽךָּ׃ (יד) וְלֹ֥א אָבָ֖ה לִשְׁמֹ֣עַ בְּקוֹלָ֑הּ וַיֶּחֱזַ֤ק מִמֶּ֙נָּה֙ וַיְעַנֶּ֔הָ וַיִּשְׁכַּ֖ב אֹתָֽהּ׃ (טו) וַיִּשְׂנָאֶ֣הָ אַמְנ֗וֹן שִׂנְאָה֙ גְּדוֹלָ֣ה מְאֹ֔ד כִּ֣י גְדוֹלָ֗ה הַשִּׂנְאָה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר שְׂנֵאָ֔הּ מֵאַהֲבָ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֲהֵבָ֑הּ וַֽיֹּאמֶר־לָ֥הּ אַמְנ֖וֹן ק֥וּמִי לֵֽכִי׃ (טז) וַתֹּ֣אמֶר ל֗וֹ אַל־אוֹדֹ֞ת הָרָעָ֤ה הַגְּדוֹלָה֙ הַזֹּ֔את מֵאַחֶ֛רֶת אֲשֶׁר־עָשִׂ֥יתָ עִמִּ֖י לְשַׁלְּחֵ֑נִי וְלֹ֥א אָבָ֖ה לִשְׁמֹ֥עַֽ לָֽהּ׃ (יז) וַיִּקְרָ֗א אֶֽת־נַעֲרוֹ֙ מְשָׁ֣רְת֔וֹ וַיֹּ֕אמֶר שִׁלְחוּ־נָ֥א אֶת־זֹ֛את מֵעָלַ֖י הַח֑וּצָה וּנְעֹ֥ל הַדֶּ֖לֶת אַחֲרֶֽיהָ׃ (יח) וְעָלֶ֙יהָ֙ כְּתֹ֣נֶת פַּסִּ֔ים כִּי֩ כֵ֨ן תִּלְבַּ֧שְׁןָ בְנוֹת־הַמֶּ֛לֶךְ הַבְּתוּלֹ֖ת מְעִילִ֑ים וַיֹּצֵ֨א אוֹתָ֤הּ מְשָֽׁרְתוֹ֙ הַח֔וּץ וְנָעַ֥ל הַדֶּ֖לֶת אַחֲרֶֽיהָ׃ (יט) וַתִּקַּ֨ח תָּמָ֥ר אֵ֙פֶר֙ עַל־רֹאשָׁ֔הּ וּכְתֹ֧נֶת הַפַּסִּ֛ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָלֶ֖יהָ קָרָ֑עָה וַתָּ֤שֶׂם יָדָהּ֙ עַל־רֹאשָׁ֔הּ וַתֵּ֥לֶךְ הָל֖וֹךְ וְזָעָֽקָה׃ (כ) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר אֵלֶ֜יהָ אַבְשָׁל֣וֹם אָחִ֗יהָ הַאֲמִינ֣וֹן אָחִ֘יךְ֮ הָיָ֣ה עִמָּךְ֒ וְעַתָּ֞ה אֲחוֹתִ֤י הַחֲרִ֙ישִׁי֙ אָחִ֣יךְ ה֔וּא אַל־תָּשִׁ֥יתִי אֶת־לִבֵּ֖ךְ לַדָּבָ֣ר הַזֶּ֑ה וַתֵּ֤שֶׁב תָּמָר֙ וְשֹׁ֣מֵמָ֔ה בֵּ֖ית אַבְשָׁל֥וֹם אָחִֽיהָ׃ (כא) וְהַמֶּ֣לֶךְ דָּוִ֔ד שָׁמַ֕ע אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה וַיִּ֥חַר ל֖וֹ מְאֹֽד׃ (כב) וְלֹֽא־דִבֶּ֧ר אַבְשָׁל֛וֹם עִם־אַמְנ֖וֹן לְמֵרָ֣ע וְעַד־ט֑וֹב כִּֽי־שָׂנֵ֤א אַבְשָׁלוֹם֙ אֶת־אַמְנ֔וֹן עַל־דְּבַר֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עִנָּ֔ה אֵ֖ת תָּמָ֥ר אֲחֹתֽוֹ׃ {פ}

(1) This happened sometime afterward: Absalom son of David had a beautiful sister named Tamar, and Amnon son of David became infatuated with her. (2) Amnon was so distraught because of his [half-]sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.

(3) Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimah; Jonadab was a very clever man. (4) He asked him, “Why are you so dejected, O prince, morning after morning? Tell me!” Amnon replied, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom!” (5) Jonadab said to him, “Lie down in your bed and pretend you are sick. When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in front of me, so that I may look on, and let her serve it to me.’”

(6) Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. The king came to see him, and Amnon said to the king, “Let my sister Tamar come and prepare a couple of cakes in front of me, and let her bring them to me.” (7) David sent a message to Tamar in the palace, “Please go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.”

(8) Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was in bed. She took dough and kneaded it into cakes in front of him, and cooked the cakes. (9) She took the pan and set out [the cakes],-a but Amnon refused to eat and ordered everyone to withdraw. After everyone had withdrawn, (10) Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food inside and feed me.”

Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them to her brother inside. (11) But when she served them to him, he caught hold of her and said to her, “Come lie with me, sister.”

(12) But she said to him, “Don’t, brother. Don’t force me. Such things are not done in Israel! Don’t do such a vile thing! (13) Where will I carry my shame? And you, you will be like any of the scoundrels in Israel! Please, speak to the king; he will not refuse me to you.”

(14) But he would not listen to her; he overpowered her and lay with her by force.

(15) Then Amnon felt a very great loathing for her; indeed, his loathing for her was greater than the passion he had felt for her. And Amnon said to her, “Get out!”

(16) She pleaded with him, “Please don’t commit this wrong; to send me away would be even worse-a than the first wrong you committed against me.” But he would not listen to her.

(17) He summoned his young attendant and said, “Get that woman out of my presence, and bar the door behind her.”— (18) She was wearing an ornamented tunic, for maiden princesses were customarily dressed in such garments.-c—His attendant took her outside and barred the door after her.

(19) Tamar put dust on her head and rent the ornamented tunic she was wearing; she put her hands on her head, and walked away, screaming loudly as she went.

(20) Her brother Absalom said to her, “Was it your brother Amnon who did this to you? For the present, sister, keep quiet about it; he is your brother. Don’t brood over the matter.” And Tamar remained in her brother Absalom’s house, forlorn. (21) When King David heard about all this, he was greatly upset. (22) Absalom didn’t utter a word to Amnon, good or bad; but Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.

וְאָמַר רָמֵי בַּר חָמָא אָמַר רַב אַסִּי: אָסוּר לְאָדָם שֶׁיָּכוֹף אִשְׁתּוֹ לִדְבַר מִצְוָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וְאָץ בְּרַגְלַיִם חוֹטֵא״.
The Gemara cites another halakha derived from the verse mentioned in the previous discussion. Rami bar Ḥama said that Rav Asi said: It is prohibited for a man to force his wife in the conjugal mitzva, i.e., sexual relations, as it is stated: “And he who hastens with his feet sins” (Proverbs 19:2). The term his feet is understood here as a euphemism for intercourse.

(יב) וְכֵן אָסְרוּ חֲכָמִים שֶׁלֹּא יְשַׁמֵּשׁ אָדָם מִטָּתוֹ וְלִבּוֹ מְחַשֵּׁב בְּאִשָּׁה אַחֶרֶת. וְלֹא יִבְעל מִתּוֹךְ שִׁכְרוּת וְלֹא מִתּוֹךְ מְרִיבָה וְלֹא מִתּוֹךְ שִׂנְאָה וְלֹא יָבוֹא עָלֶיהָ עַל כָּרְחָהּ וְהִיא יְרֵאָה מִמֶּנּוּ. וְלֹא כְּשֶׁיִּהְיֶה אֶחָד מֵהֶן מְנֻדֶּה. וְלֹא יָבוֹא עָלֶיהָ אַחַר שֶׁגָּמַר בְּלִבּוֹ לְגָרְשָׁהּ. וְאִם עָשָׂה כֵּן הַבָּנִים אֵינָן הֲגוּנִים אֶלָּא מֵהֶן עַזֵּי פָּנִים וּמֵהֶן מוֹרְדִים וּפוֹשְׁעִים:

(12) The sages forbade a man to have marital relations while thinking of another woman. Nor may he initiate sex while drunk, nor out of spite or hatred, nor may he rape her or initiate sex while she is afraid. Nor may they have sex while either of them are excommunicated nor after he has decided to divorce her....