(4) Yaakov sent messengers ahead to his brother Esav in the land of Seir, the country of Edom, (5) and instructed them as follows, “Thus shall you say, ‘To my lord Esav, thus says your servant Yaakov: I stayed with Lavan and remained until now.

(17) These he put in the charge of his servants, drove by drove, and he told his servants, “Go on ahead, and keep a distance between droves.” (18) He instructed the one in front as follows, “When my brother Esav meets you and asks you, ‘Who’s your master? Where are you going? And whose [animals] are these ahead of you?’ (19) you shall answer, ‘Your servant Yaakov’s; they are a gift sent to my lord Esav; and himself is right behind us.’” (20) He gave similar instructions to the second one, and the third, and all the others who followed the droves, namely, “Thus and so shall you say to Esau when you reach him. (21) And you shall add, ‘And your servant Yaakov himself is right behind us.’” For he reasoned, “If I propitiate him with presents in advance, and then face him, perhaps he will show me favor.”

(3) He himself went on ahead and bowed low to the ground seven times until he was near his brother. (4) Esav ran to greet him. He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept.

When Yaakov called Esav 'my lord,' the Holy One, blessed be He, said to him: 'You have abased yourself and called Esav "my lord" eight times. I will raise up eight kings of his descendants before your descendants,' as it says, And these are the kings that reigned in the land of Edom, before there reigned any king over the children of Israel (Gen. 36:31).

In my opinion, this too hints at the fact that we instigated our falling into the hand of Edom [Rome] for the Hasmonean kings during the period of the Second Temple entered into a covenant with the Romans, and some of them even went to Rome to seek an alliance. This was the cause of their falling into the hands of the Romans. This is mentioned in the words of our Rabbis, and is well publicized in books.

Yehudah HaNasi once directed Rabbi Afes to write a letter in Yehudah’s name to Emperor Antoninus. Rabbi Afes wrote: “From Yehudah HaNasi to our Sovereign the Emperor Antoninus.” Yehudah read the letter, tore it up, and wrote: “From your servant Yehudah to our Sovereign the Emperor Antoninus.” Rabbi Afes remonstrated that Yehudah treated his honor too lightly. Yehudah replied that he was not better than his ancestor, who in Beresheet sent a message saying: “Thus says your servant Yaaakov.”

וירץ עשו, his attitude changed suddenly when he realized to what extent Yaakov had humbled himself before him. It is of great concern to us seeing that we live among the descendants of Esav, people who are arrogant, and consider themselves invincible. Yaakov’s conduct vis a vis Esav teaches that the only way to escape the sword of Esav is through self degradation and gifts. This corresponds to what our sages taught us that the curses of the prophet Achiyah Hashiloni were more beneficial to the Jewish people than the blessing showered upon them by Bilam.

Achiyah had cursed the Jewish people describing them as a reed which bends in all directions, a reference to someone demeaning himself rather than facing up to adversaries. If the Jewish people during the period of the second Temple had taken his advice to heart, the Temple would not have been destroyed. Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai testified to this when he said “if not for the militant extremists the Romans would not have destroyed the Temple.”

Rabbi Yehuda of the West, Eretz Yisrael, and some say Rabbi Shimon ben Pazi, taught: It is permitted to flatter wicked people in this world, as it is stated concerning the future: “The vile person shall no longer be called generous, nor shall the churl be said to be noble” (Isaiah 32:5). By inference, this indicates that in this world it is permitted to flatter them.

Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said that this can be proven from here. Yaakov said to Esav: “I have seen your face, as one sees the face of angels, and you were pleased with me” (Genesis 33:10). Yaakov flattered him by comparing seeing him to seeing a divine vision.