Rabbi Aaron Starr
April 7, 2022
מחזיר את הקערה אל השולחן. המצות תִהיינה מגלות בִשעת אמירת ההגדה.
עֲבָדִים הָיִינוּ לְפַרְעֹה בְּמִצְרָיִם, וַיּוֹצִיאֵנוּ ה' אֱלֹקֵינוּ מִשָּׁם בְּיָד חֲזָקָה וּבִזְרֹעַ נְטוּיָה. וְאִלּוּ לֹא הוֹצִיא הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא אֶת אֲבוֹתֵינוּ מִמִּצְרָיִם, הֲרֵי אָנוּ וּבָנֵינוּ וּבְנֵי בָנֵינוּ מְשֻׁעְבָּדִים הָיִינוּ לְפַרְעֹה בְּמִצְרָיִם. וַאֲפִילוּ כֻּלָּנוּ חֲכָמִים כֻּלָּנוּ נְבוֹנִים כֻּלָּנוּ זְקֵנִים כֻּלָּנוּ יוֹדְעִים אֶת הַתּוֹרָה מִצְוָה עָלֵינוּ לְסַפֵּר בִּיצִיאַת מִצְרָיִם. וְכָל הַמַּרְבֶּה לְסַפֵּר בִּיצִיאַת מִצְרַיִם הֲרֵי זֶה מְשֻׁבָּח.
He puts the plate back on the table. The matsot should be uncovered during the saying of the Haggadah.
We were slaves to Pharaoh in the land of Egypt. And the Lord, our God, took us out from there with a strong hand and an outstretched forearm. And if the Holy One, blessed be He, had not taken our ancestors from Egypt, behold we and our children and our children's children would [all] be enslaved to Pharaoh in Egypt. And even if we were all sages, all discerning, all elders, all knowledgeable about the Torah, it would be a commandment upon us to tell the story of the exodus from Egypt. And anyone who adds [and spends extra time] in telling the story of the exodus from Egypt, behold he is praiseworthy.
For I will forgive their iniquities,
And remember their sins no more.
In the early days and months of first having a baby, the raw, immediate assault on my freedom – a freedom I had not even known I had previously enjoyed – struck me with overwhelming force. No sooner had this baby, this stranger, appeared than she held a claim on me. I was now responsible for addressing her needs and wishes, for seeking out the meaning of her unfamiliar body and its often cryptic language.
The obligation, the ought, was so powerful in those early days that it, more than delight, often took center stage in my psyche. Indeed, I longed for the simple fact of the love that I felt for her to lighten the load. It did not. At times, wonder and gratitude did temper the overwhelming sense of burden. But more often, the obligation to take care of the young creature preoccupied me to the exclusion of other emotions. I felt the terror of my power, of my vast and direct responsibility for this baby’s well-being. I was weighted down by the sheer inescapability of her.
To be an obligated self was to be subject to the law of another: the Law of the Baby. The law could not be fulfilled in abstract but only in active, embodied, material actions: soothing, feeding, cleaning, comforting, distracting, smiling, and wiping. It became the law of the crying toddler who sought out not just any, but specifically our (or my) comfort; the law of her seeking out our, or my, face for approval and interest.
The force of the Law of Another was greater than anything I could have anticipated or to which I could have assented. I had never explicitly agreed to be subject to it, although as an adult who was compos mentis, clearly I had some idea what I was getting into: I had pursued having a child, needed medical intervention for my partner to conceive, and I had eagerly (and anxiously) awaited motherhood. Nonetheless, I could not agree to the law before I was already subject to it. And once in place, I could only violate the law through inattention or frustration; I could not cast it off. I transgressed the law as often as I fulfilled it, leaving my crying baby or comfort-seeking toddler to calm herself when I could not bring myself to respond. Nonetheless, it was clear to me that there was a law, and the law applied to me by virtue of being my child’s parent.
…..
Jewish thinkers in the twentieth century responded to the challenge of a shifted intellectual, political, and social landscape by rendering obligation not as the status imposed by a commanding God on the Jewish people, but rather as the result of encounters between two subjects in everyday human relationships. The intersubjective dyad became an oasis, a realm untouchable by the liberal critique of religion and its role in the public sphere. Instead of justifying the mitzvot, the performance of which became increasingly problematic in the modern nation-state, these thinkers conceived of humans as essentially, but not practically, obligated to the other.
This restriction of obligation to the intersubjective sphere testifies both to theological creativity and, simultaneously, to the impoverishment of the scope of obligation in the modern period. The emergence of the modern liberal nation-state seemingly required the disruption if not dismantling of Jewish obligation’s traditional ritual, civil, social, political, and economic reference points. What remained was the dyadic encounter with another individual, a realm protected from the social and political critiques that continued to vex practitioners of the mitzvot.
…The cost of this approach, however, was a fully realized concept of the individual to whom the self is obligated. Most influential Jewish thinkers [e.g. Cohen, Rosenzweig, Levinas] conceived of the intersubjective encounter, and therefore of the individuals who participate in it, in decidedly abstract terms. The “other” they envisioned has no specific social location or set of needs.
…Adults’ embodied, daily experiences of obligation vis-à-vis their children offer a path forward. Taking maternal experiences as a starting point, obligation can become an alternative to both the privatized notion of obligation and the tendency toward abstraction we find in so much twentieth-century modern Jewish thought. And contrary to the construction of agency merely in terms of liberal, rational choice, a feminist examination of maternal subjectivity suggests that agency dialectically informs obligation and vice versa.
The theological implications of this pursuit are admittedly startling: if the rabbinic notion of obligation comes into felt experience most viscerally in caring for young children, then God is not an overlord but a vulnerable, dependent being who needs virtually constant attention. This concept inverts the biblical metaphorical economy, in which God is parent, not infant, and the rabbinic sources that speak of God as king and as father, not as subject or son. But since these are metaphors, one in which God is imagined as a baby invites us to name the condition of being obligated to God as being compelled and beguiled, shackled and infatuated, all at once. The care for an infant perfectly captures the pairing of command and love at the heart of rabbinic thought. If God is not only loving parent but demanding baby, we may find within ourselves the resolve to meet the demand.

