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ShareGod further said to Abraham, “As for you, you and your offspring to come throughout the ages shall keep My covenant. Such shall be the covenant between Me and you and your offspring to follow which you shall keep: every male among you shall be circumcised. You shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and that shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. And throughout the generations, every male among you shall be circumcised at the age of eight days. As for the homeborn slave and the one bought from an outsider who is not of your offspring, they must be circumcised, homeborn and purchased alike. Thus shall My covenant be marked in your flesh as an everlasting pact. And if any male who is uncircumcised fails to circumcise the flesh of his foreskin, that person shall be cut off from his kin; he has broken My covenant.”
The commandment to circumcise: [Parshat] Lekh Lekha [has] one positive commandment, and that is the commandment to circumcise; as it is stated (Genesis 17:10), "This is My covenant which you shall keep, between you and I, and with your descendants after you, circumcise all males." And [the commandment] is repeated in the Order of Eesha ki Tazria, as it is stated (Leviticus 12:3), "And on the eighth day circumcise the flesh of his foreskin." There are many commandments which are repeated in many places in the Torah; and all of them are necessary as the sages explained (Shabbat 132a and Shabbat 135a). And the content of this commandment is that we cut the foreskin that covers the head of the member and then tearing the sorting skin which is below it so that the glans of the member will be exposed. As is known to those that understand, the completion of the form of man comes with the removal of this foreskin which is extraneous. It is from the roots of this commandment [that it is] because God wanted to establish in His nation, that He separated to be called by His name, a permanent sign on their body; to separate them from the other nations in the form of their bodies just like they are separated from them in the form of their souls, the going out and coming in of which are not similar. He established this difference in the 'golden fountain,' because this is the reason for the existence of people, besides being a completion of the physical body as we mentioned. God wanted to complete His plan with the chosen nation. He wanted men to complete the creation of his body, as He did not create him complete from the womb; [so as] to hint to him that just like the completion of the form of his body is through him, so [too] is it in his hand to complete the form of his soul, by refining his actions. The laws of the commandment - upon whom is the circumcision of infants incumbent, as well as the circumcision of slaves, the homeborn (a Canaanite slave that a maidservant gave birth to in the house of a Jew) and those acquired with money (which means a Canaanite slave that was acquired from when he was born), and the difference between them; in which way is Shabbat and holidays pushed off for him; which infant has his circumcision delayed for more than eight days; and its other details - are [all] elucidated in Chapter Nineteen of Shabbat and in Chapter Four of Yevamot. And there in Shabbat, it is elucidated that the one who circumcises recites the blessing, "Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with Your commandments, and commanded us concerning the circumcision." And the father of the child - or the court when there is no father [present] - recites the blessing, "Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with Your commandments, and commanded us to bring him into the covenant of Avraham, our father." And the ones standing there respond, "Just as he had merit for the circumcision, may God let have him merit for the wedding canopy and for good deeds" (see Shulchan Arukh Yoreh Deah 260-266). And [it] is practiced in every place and at all times. And women are not obligated regarding the circumcision of their sons (Kiddushin 29a); just the father - or the court when there is no father [present]. And one who transgresses this commandment and does not circumcise himself when he reaches the category of [those who can receive] punishments - which is thirteen year and a day - [each day, that he transgresses it from when he is grown and does not circumcise himself, violates a positive commandment. And if he dies and was uncircumcised by volition,] he is liable for excision. But the father is not liable for excision for the [lack of] circumcision of his son (Shabbat 133a), but he does transgress a positive commandment. And there is no positive commandment in all of the Torah the negation of which makes one liable for excision besides this and the slaughtering of the Pesach sacrifice (Keritot 2a).
Cut away [i.e. circumcise], therefore, the thickening about your hearts and stiffen your necks no more.
Following a bar mitzvah boy’s inaugural aliyah (the first time he is called to the Torah as a qualified adult), it is customary for his father to say a special blessing, named Baruch Shepetarani, thanking G‑d for reaching this auspicious moment:
בָּרוּךְ שֶׁפְּטָרַנִי מֵעֹנֶשׁ הַלָּזֶה.
This is what it sounds like:
Ba-ruch she-pe-ta-ra-nee mei-o-nesh ha-la-zeh.
This is what it means:
Blessed be He who has released me from being punishable for this [boy].
The bar mitzvah boy is now a full-fledged member of the Jewish people, and as such, he is responsible for his own actions. This blessing expresses that transition.
Erusin - betrothal. Also called kiddushin - sanctification. A halachic "engagement", but unlike our modern understanding of the term. Erusin makes the woman legally married from a halachic point of view, and would require a get (a religious bill of divorce) to sever, but the couple are not yet considered a family unit for purposes of financial obligations, property rights, shared housing, or intimacy. In Biblical times, erusin could last up to a year (in order to first secure a marriage agreement but then provide time for the groom to begin earning a living prior to starting a family). But since Medieval times, the two components of the wedding process - erusin and nissuin (the marriage itself) - now occur back-to-back, with only a brief pause in between.
Ketubah - marriage contract. The ketubah is traditionally signed by the groom and two witnesses as part of erusin. The ketubah enumerates the husband's obligations to his wife (specifically: food, clothing, and conjugal rights), and a financial sum to be paid by the husband to the wife in the event of divorce - a form of alimony or spousal support. The ketubah also serves as a bill of record of the marriage, and was traditionally kept by the wife in the event proof was ever needed of her marriage. Today, ketubot are often ceremonial art pieces proudly displayed on the walls of a newlywed couple's home.
Note: Many couples will also now sign what is called the "halachic pre-nuptial agreement", a modern mechanism designed to avoid the tragic issue of agunot ("chained" women, or women whose husbands refuse or are unable - missing, incapacitated, etc. - to give them a get, a bill of divorce, which would then "unchain" them from their husbands and permit them to remarry and otherwise move forward in life).
Kinyan - acquisition. The groom formally accepts the unilateral obligations to which he is committing himself in the ketubah by performing an act of kinyan. The groom may do this by lifting up a pen, handkerchief, or other small object symbolically to affirm consent and demonstrate acceptance via a physical act of acquisition. Once kinyan is performed in front of signed witnesses, the ketubah is valid and binding.
The bride and groom are led to the chuppah (wedding canopy), and proceed with both portions of the wedding ceremony (erusin and nisuin) in rapid succession.
During erusin, the first part of the wedding ceremony, a blessing over wine and then the betrothal blessing (birkat erusin) are said.
The groom gives the bride an object, commonly a wedding ring, thought it can be anything of at least nominal/minimal value (i.e. it's not about the value of the item, it's just that the item must have some value). He then recites the traditional formula while placing the ring on the bride's finger:
“Harei at mekudeshet li b’taba’at zu k’dat Moshe v’Yisrael,”
"Behold, you are consecrated (mekudeshet) to me with this ring, according to the Law of Moses and Israel."
This completes erusin/kiddushin. In order to mark a separation between this stage and the second stage of the wedding ceremony, nissuin, the ketubah is often read aloud, or the rabbi, an honored guest, or the bride and groom themselves make speeches.
Nissuin - marriage. This is the second part of the wedding ceremony, and is effected by the recitation of Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings) over a second cup of wine. The groom then customarily smashes a glass with his foot, guests cheer, and the ceremony is concluded.
Yichud - seclusion. In Ashkenazi custom, the bride and groom are immediately ushered away to a private room where they can be secluded together for the first time, a demonstration of their new status as husband and wife. Theoretically, they are secluded for sufficient time to make it possible to consummate the marriage. In practice, husband and wife will often use this time to simply decompress, eat food (especially if they have been fasting all day, as is the practice for some), and briefly bask in the moment together, away from guests. The Sephardic custom is to eschew yichud, as it is viewed as immodest.
ב"ה
... בשבת ... לחדש ... שנת חמשת אלפים ושבע מאות ... לבריאת עולם למנין שאנו מנין כאן ... איך ... בן ... אמר לה להדא ... בת ... הוי לי לאנתו כדת משה וישראל ואנא אפלח ואוקיר ואיזון ואפרנס יתיכי ליכי כהלכות גוברין יהודאין דפלחין ומוקרין וזנין ומפרנסין לנשיהון בקושטא ויהיבנא ליכי ... כסף זוזי ... דחזי ליכי ... ומזוניכי וכסותיכי וסיפוקיכי ומיעל לותיכי כאורח כל ארעא וצביאת מרת ... דא והות ליה לאנתו ודן נדוניא דהנעלת ליה מבי ... בין בכסף בין בזהב בין בתכשיטין במאני דלבושא בשמושי דירה ובשמושא דערסא הכל קבל עליו ... חתן דנן ב... זקוקים כסף צרוף וצבי ... חתן דנן והוסיף לה מן דיליה עוד ... זקוקים כסף צרוף אחרים כנגדן סך הכל ... זקוקים כסף צרוף וכך אמר ... חתן דנן אחריות שטר כתובתא דא נדוניא דן ותוספתא דא קבלית עלי ועל ירתי בתראי להתפרע מכל שפר ארג נכסין וקנינין דאית לי תחות כל שמיא דקנאי ודעתיד אנא למקני נכסין דאית להון אחריות ודלית להון אחריות כלהון יהון אחראין וערבאין לפרוע מנהון שטר כתובתא דא נדוניא דן ותוספתא דא מנאי ואפילו מן גלימא דעל כתפאי בחיי ובתר חיי מן יומא דנן ולעלם ואחריות וחומר שטר כתובתא דא נדוניא דן ותוספתא דא קבל עליו ... חתן דנן כחומר כל שטרי כתובות ותוספתות דנהגין בבנת ישראל העשויין כתיקון חכמינו ז"ל דלא כאסמכתא ודלא כטופסי דשטרי וקנינא מן ... בן ... חתן דנן למרת ... בת ... דא על כל מה דכתוב ומפורש לעיל במנא דכשר למקניא ביה הכל שריר וקים
נאום ...
נאום ...
Ketubah Text (Orthodox/Traditional)
On the [...] day of the week, the [...] day of the [Hebrew] month of [...], the year [...] after the creation of the world, according to the manner in which we count [dates] here in [...], the bridegroom [...] son of [...] said to this [...] daughter of [...], “Be my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel. I will work, honor, feed, and support you in the custom of Jewish men, who work, honor, feed, and support their wives faithfully. I will give you the settlement of [...] silver zuzim, which is due you according to [...] law, as well as your food, clothing, necessities of life, and conjugal needs, according to the universal custom.”
Ms. [...] agreed, and became his wife. This dowry that she brought from her father’s house, whether in silver, gold, jewelry, clothing, home furnishings, or bedding, Mr. [...], our bridegroom, accepts as being worth [...] silver pieces (zekukim).
Our bridegroom, Mr. [...] agreed, and of his own accord, added an additional [...] silver pieces (zekukim) paralleling the above. The entire amount is then [...] silver pieces (zekukim).
Mr. [...] our bridegroom made this declaration: “The obligation of this marriage contract (ketubah), this dowry, and this additional amount, I accept upon myself and upon my heirs after me. It can be paid from the entire best part of the property and possessions that I own under all the heavens, whether I own [this property] already, or will own it in the future. [It includes] both mortgageable property and non-mortgageable property. All of it shall be mortgaged and bound as security to pay this marriage contract, this dowry, and this additional amount. [it can be taken] from me, even from the shirt on my back, during my lifetime, and after my lifetime, from this day and forever.”
The obligation of this marriage contract, this dowry, and this additional amount was accepted by Mr. [...] our bridegroom, to Ms. [...] daughter of [...], regarding everything written and stated above, with an article that is fit for such a kinyan. And everything is valid and confirmed.
[...] son of [...] Witness
[...] son of [...] Witness
On the ___ day of the week, the ___ day of ___, in the year ___, corresponding to the ___ day of ___, in the year ___, ___, son of ___, and ___, daughter of ___, join each other in ___, before family and friends to make a mutual covenant as husband and wife, partners in marriage. The groom, ___, promises ___, the bride: "You are my wife according to the tradition of Moses and Israel. I shall cherish you and honor you as is customary among the sons of Israel who have cherished and honored their wives in faithfulness and in integrity." The bride, ___, promises ___, the groom: "You are my husband according to the tradition of Moses and Israel. I shall cherish you and honor you as is customary among the daughters of Israel who have cherished and honored their husbands in faithfulness and in integrity." "We, as beloveds and friends, promise each other to strive throughout our lives together to achieve an openness which will enable us to share our thoughts, our feelings, and our experiences. We promise to try always to bring out in ourselves and in each other qualities of forgiveness, compassion, and integrity. We, as beloveds and friends, will cherish each other's uniqueness; comfort and challenge each other through life's sorrow and joy; share our intuition and insight with one another; and above all do everything within our power to permit each of us to become the persons we are yet to be. All this we take upon ourselves to uphold to the best of our abilities." All is valid and binding.
Bride ____________ Groom ____________
Witness ____________ Witness ____________
Rabbi ____________
1. What important distinctions do you see between these two Ketuba texts? What does the Traditional text prioritize and what does the Reform text prioritize?
2. What benefit or strength do you see in the Traditional text? Is it absent or present in the Reform text?
3. What benefit or strength do you see to the Reform text? Is it absent or present in the Traditional text?
The Sages taught: There was an incident involving one gentile who came before Shammai. The gentile said to Shammai: How many Torahs do you have? He said to him: Two, the Written Torah and the Oral Torah. The gentile said to him: With regard to the Written Torah, I believe you, but with regard to the Oral Torah, I do not believe you. Convert me on condition that you will teach me only the Written Torah. Shammai scolded him and cast him out with reprimand.
The same gentile came before Hillel, who converted him and began teaching him Torah. On the first day, he showed him the letters of the alphabet and said to him: Alef, bet, gimmel, dalet [i.e. A, B, C, D]. The next day he reversed the order of the letters and told him that an alef [A] is a tav [Z[ and so on [i.e. a B is a Y, etc.]. The convert said to him: But yesterday you did not tell me that. Hillel said to him: You see that it is impossible to learn what is written without relying on an oral tradition. Didn’t you rely on me? Therefore, you should also rely on me with regard to the matter of the Oral Torah, and accept the interpretations that it contains.
There was another incident involving one gentile who came before Shammai and said to Shammai: Convert me on condition that you teach me the entire Torah while I am standing on one foot. Shammai pushed him away with the builder’s cubit in his hand. This was a common measuring stick and Shammai was a builder by trade. The same gentile came before Hillel. He converted him and said to him: That which is hateful to you do not do to another; that is the entire Torah, and the rest is its interpretation. Go study.
There was another incident involving one gentile who was passing behind the study hall and heard the voice of a teacher who was teaching Torah to his students and saying the verse: “And these are the garments which they shall make: A breastplate, and an efod, and a robe, and a tunic of checkered work, a mitre, and a girdle” (Exodus 28:4). The gentile said: These garments, for whom are they designated? The students said to him: For the High Priest. The gentile said to himself: I will go and convert so that they will install me as High Priest.
He came before Shammai and said to him: Convert me on condition that you install me as High Priest. Shammai pushed him with the builder’s cubit in his hand. He came before Hillel; he converted him. Hillel said to him, to the convert: Is it not the way of the world that only one who knows the protocols [takhsisei] of royalty is appointed king? Go and learn the royal protocols by engaging in Torah study. He went and read the Bible. When he reached the verse which says: “And the common man that draws near shall be put to death” (Numbers 1:51), the convert said to Hillel: With regard to whom is the verse speaking? Hillel said to him: Even with regard to David, king of Israel. The convert reasoned an a fortiori inference himself: If the Jewish people are called God’s children, and due to the love that God loved them he called them: “Israel is My son, My firstborn” (Exodus 4:22), and nevertheless it is written about them: And the common man that draws near shall be put to death; a mere convert who came without merit, with nothing more than his staff and traveling bag, all the more so that this applies to him, as well. The convert came before Shammai and told him that he retracts his demand to appoint him High Priest, saying: Am I at all worthy to be High Priest? Is it not written in the Torah: And the common man that draws near shall be put to death? He came before Hillel and said to him: Hillel the patient, may blessings rest upon your head as you brought me under the wings of the Divine Presence.
The Gemara relates: Eventually, the three converts gathered together in one place, and they said: Shammai’s impatience sought to drive us from the world; Hillel’s patience brought us beneath the wings of the Divine Presence.
