Atid: Energy Levels and Stress

Holding too much

וַיִּשָּׂאֻ֗הוּ מִבֵּ֤ית אֲבִֽינָדָב֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר בַּגִּבְעָ֔ה עִ֖ם אֲר֣וֹן הָאֱלֹקִ֑ים וְאַחְי֕וֹ הֹלֵ֖ךְ לִפְנֵ֥י הָאָרֽוֹן׃ וְדָוִ֣ד ׀ וְכׇל־בֵּ֣ית יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל מְשַֽׂחֲקִים֙ לִפְנֵ֣י ה' בְּכֹ֖ל עֲצֵ֣י בְרוֹשִׁ֑ים וּבְכִנֹּר֤וֹת וּבִנְבָלִים֙ וּבְתֻפִּ֔ים וּבִמְנַעַנְעִ֖ים וּֽבְצֶלְצֱלִֽים׃ וַיָּבֹ֖אוּ עַד־גֹּ֣רֶן נָכ֑וֹן וַיִּשְׁלַ֨ח עֻזָּ֜ה אֶל־אֲר֤וֹן הָֽאֱלֹקִים֙ וַיֹּ֣אחֶז בּ֔וֹ כִּ֥י שָֽׁמְט֖וּ הַבָּקָֽר׃ וַיִּֽחַר־אַ֤ף ה' בְּעֻזָּ֔ה וַיַּכֵּ֥הוּ שָׁ֛ם הָאֱלֹקִ֖ים עַל־הַשַּׁ֑ל וַיָּ֣מׇת שָׁ֔ם עִ֖ם אֲר֥וֹן הָאֱלֹקִֽים׃ וַיִּ֣חַר לְדָוִ֔ד עַל֩ אֲשֶׁ֨ר פָּרַ֧ץ ה' פֶּ֖רֶץ בְּעֻזָּ֑ה וַיִּקְרָ֞א לַמָּק֤וֹם הַהוּא֙ פֶּ֣רֶץ עֻזָּ֔ה עַ֖ד הַיּ֥וֹם הַזֶּֽה׃ וַיִּרָ֥א דָוִ֛ד אֶת־ה' בַּיּ֣וֹם הַה֑וּא וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אֵ֛יךְ יָב֥וֹא אֵלַ֖י אֲר֥וֹן ה'׃ וְלֹא־אָבָ֣ה דָוִ֗ד לְהָסִ֥יר אֵלָ֛יו אֶת־אֲר֥וֹן ה' עַל־עִ֣יר דָּוִ֑ד וַיַּטֵּ֣הוּ דָוִ֔ד בֵּ֥ית עֹבֵֽד־אֱדֹ֖ם הַגִּתִּֽי׃ וַיֵּ֩שֶׁב֩ אֲר֨וֹן ה' בֵּ֣ית עֹבֵ֥ד אֱדֹ֛ם הַגִּתִּ֖י שְׁלֹשָׁ֣ה חֳדָשִׁ֑ים וַיְבָ֧רֶךְ ה' אֶת־עֹבֵ֥ד אֱדֹ֖ם וְאֶת־כׇּל־בֵּיתֽוֹ׃ וַיֻּגַּ֗ד לַמֶּ֣לֶךְ דָּוִד֮ לֵאמֹר֒ בֵּרַ֣ךְ ה' אֶת־בֵּ֨ית עֹבֵ֤ד אֱדֹם֙ וְאֶת־כׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־ל֔וֹ בַּעֲב֖וּר אֲר֣וֹן הָאֱלֹקִ֑ים וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ דָּוִ֗ד וַיַּ֩עַל֩ אֶת־אֲר֨וֹן הָאֱלֹקִ֜ים מִבֵּ֨ית עֹבֵ֥ד אֱדֹ֛ם עִ֥יר דָּוִ֖ד בְּשִׂמְחָֽה׃

They conveyed it from Abinadab’s house on the hill, [Uzzah walking] alongside the Ark of God and Ahio walking in front of the Ark. Meanwhile, David and all the House of Israel danced before the LORD to [the sound of] all kinds of cypress wood [instruments], with lyres, harps, timbrels, sistrums, and cymbals. But when they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah reached out for the Ark of God and grasped it, for the oxen had stumbled. The LORD was incensed at Uzzah. And God struck him down on the spot for his indiscretion, and he died there beside the Ark of God. David was distressed because the LORD had inflicted a breach upon Uzzah; and that place was named Perez-uzzah, as it is still called. David was afraid of the LORD that day; he said, “How can I let the Ark of the LORD come to me?” So David would not bring the Ark of the LORD to his place in the City of David; instead, David diverted it to the house of Obed-edom the Gittite. The Ark of the LORD remained in the house of Obed-edom the Gittite three months, and the LORD blessed Obed-edom and his whole household. It was reported to King David: “The LORD has blessed Obed-edom’s house and all that belongs to him because of the Ark of God.” Thereupon David went and brought up the Ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the City of David, amid rejoicing.

- Why do you think the ark is dangerous to touch?

- How can it be dangerous to touch but a blessing to have in your house?

- Does it remind you of anything else which is good to be close to but very bad to be too close to?

- If Uzzah knew that it was dangerous to touch it, why did he do that anyway?

- What does it look like for "the oxen to stumble" in your own life? What is your response?

וְכֵיוָן שֶׁעָלָה הָאַחֲרוֹן שֶׁבְּיִשְׂרָאֵל מִן הַיַּרְדֵּן חָזְרוּ מַיִם לִמְקוֹמָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וַיְהִי בַּעֲלוֹת הַכֹּהֲנִים נֹשְׂאֵי אֲרוֹן בְּרִית ה׳ מִתּוֹךְ הַיַּרְדֵּן נִתְּקוּ כַּפּוֹת רַגְלֵי הַכֹּהֲנִים אֶל הֶחָרָבָה וַיָּשֻׁבוּ מֵי הַיַּרְדֵּן לִמְקוֹמָם וַיֵּלְכוּ כִתְמוֹל שִׁלְשׁוֹם עַל כׇּל גְּדוֹתָיו נִמְצָא אָרוֹן וְנוֹשְׂאָיו וְכֹהֲנִים מִצַּד אֶחָד וְיִשְׂרָאֵל מִצַּד אֶחָד נָשָׂא אָרוֹן אֶת נוֹשְׂאָיו וְעָבַר שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וַיְהִי כַּאֲשֶׁר תַּם כׇּל הָעָם לַעֲבֹר וַיַּעֲבֹר אֲרוֹן ה׳ וְהַכֹּהֲנִים לִפְנֵי הָעָם וְעַל דָּבָר זֶה נֶעֱנַשׁ עוּזָּא שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וַיָּבֹאוּ עַד גֹּרֶן כִּידֹן וַיִּשְׁלַח עֻזָּא אֶת יָדוֹ לֶאֱחֹז אֶת הָאָרוֹן אָמַר לוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא עוּזָּא נוֹשְׂאָיו נָשָׂא עַצְמוֹ לֹא כׇּל שֶׁכֵּן

§ The Gemara returns to discuss the entry of the Jewish people into Eretz Yisrael. And once the last one of the Jewish people ascended out of the Jordan, the water returned to its place, as it is stated: “And it came to pass, as the priests that bore the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord came up out of the midst of the Jordan, as soon as the soles of the priests’ feet were drawn up unto the dry ground, that the waters of the Jordan returned to their place, and went over all its banks, as it had before” (Joshua 4:18). The Gemara understands that the priests who carried the Ark stood in the water until all of the Jewish people passed through the Jordan. Once all the Jewish people had reached the other side of the Jordan, the priests stepped back from the water and the Jordan returned to its natural state. It follows that the Ark and its bearers and the priests were on one side of the Jordan, the east side, and the rest of the Jewish people were on the other side, the west side. Subsequently, the Ark carried its bearers in the air and crossed the Jordan, as it is stated: “When all the people were completely passed over, the Ark of the Lord passed on, and the priests, before the people” (Joshua 4:11). And over this matter Uzzah was punished for not taking proper care of the Ark, as it is stated: “And when they came to the threshing floor of Chidon, Uzzah put forth his hand to hold the Ark; for the oxen stumbled” (I Chronicles 13:9). The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to him: Uzzah, the Ark carried its bearers when it crossed the Jordan; all the more so is it not clear that it can carry itself?

- Why do you think the Talmud says that the ark carries its carriers/itself?

- Is it possible that you are holding things which carry themselves?

Stress causing frusration

(א) וַיָּבֹ֣אוּ בְנֵֽי־יִ֠שְׂרָאֵל כָּל־הָ֨עֵדָ֤ה מִדְבַּר־צִן֙ בַּחֹ֣דֶשׁ הָֽרִאשׁ֔וֹן וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב הָעָ֖ם בְּקָדֵ֑שׁ וַתָּ֤מָת שָׁם֙ מִרְיָ֔ם וַתִּקָּבֵ֖ר שָֽׁם׃ (ב) וְלֹא־הָ֥יָה מַ֖יִם לָעֵדָ֑ה וַיִּקָּ֣הֲל֔וּ עַל־מֹשֶׁ֖ה וְעַֽל־אַהֲרֹֽן׃ (ג) וַיָּ֥רֶב הָעָ֖ם עִם־מֹשֶׁ֑ה וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ לֵאמֹ֔ר וְל֥וּ גָוַ֛עְנוּ בִּגְוַ֥ע אַחֵ֖ינוּ לִפְנֵ֥י ה'׃ (ד) וְלָמָ֤ה הֲבֵאתֶם֙ אֶת־קְהַ֣ל ה' אֶל־הַמִּדְבָּ֖ר הַזֶּ֑ה לָמ֣וּת שָׁ֔ם אֲנַ֖חְנוּ וּבְעִירֵֽנוּ׃ (ה) וְלָמָ֤ה הֶֽעֱלִיתֻ֙נוּ֙ מִמִּצְרַ֔יִם לְהָבִ֣יא אֹתָ֔נוּ אֶל־הַמָּק֥וֹם הָרָ֖ע הַזֶּ֑ה לֹ֣א ׀ מְק֣וֹם זֶ֗רַע וּתְאֵנָ֤ה וְגֶ֙פֶן֙ וְרִמּ֔וֹן וּמַ֥יִם אַ֖יִן לִשְׁתּֽוֹת׃ (ו) וַיָּבֹא֩ מֹשֶׁ֨ה וְאַהֲרֹ֜ן מִפְּנֵ֣י הַקָּהָ֗ל אֶל־פֶּ֙תַח֙ אֹ֣הֶל מוֹעֵ֔ד וַֽיִּפְּל֖וּ עַל־פְּנֵיהֶ֑ם וַיֵּרָ֥א כְבוֹד־ה' אֲלֵיהֶֽם׃ (פ) (ז) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר ה' אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה לֵּאמֹֽר׃ (ח) קַ֣ח אֶת־הַמַּטֶּ֗ה וְהַקְהֵ֤ל אֶת־הָעֵדָה֙ אַתָּה֙ וְאַהֲרֹ֣ן אָחִ֔יךָ וְדִבַּרְתֶּ֧ם אֶל־הַסֶּ֛לַע לְעֵינֵיהֶ֖ם וְנָתַ֣ן מֵימָ֑יו וְהוֹצֵאתָ֨ לָהֶ֥ם מַ֙יִם֙ מִן־הַסֶּ֔לַע וְהִשְׁקִיתָ֥ אֶת־הָעֵדָ֖ה וְאֶת־בְּעִירָֽם׃ (ט) וַיִּקַּ֥ח מֹשֶׁ֛ה אֶת־הַמַּטֶּ֖ה מִלִּפְנֵ֣י ה' כַּאֲשֶׁ֖ר צִוָּֽהוּ׃ (י) וַיַּקְהִ֜לוּ מֹשֶׁ֧ה וְאַהֲרֹ֛ן אֶת־הַקָּהָ֖ל אֶל־פְּנֵ֣י הַסָּ֑לַע וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֗ם שִׁמְעוּ־נָא֙ הַמֹּרִ֔ים הֲמִן־הַסֶּ֣לַע הַזֶּ֔ה נוֹצִ֥יא לָכֶ֖ם מָֽיִם׃ (יא) וַיָּ֨רֶם מֹשֶׁ֜ה אֶת־יָד֗וֹ וַיַּ֧ךְ אֶת־הַסֶּ֛לַע בְּמַטֵּ֖הוּ פַּעֲמָ֑יִם וַיֵּצְאוּ֙ מַ֣יִם רַבִּ֔ים וַתֵּ֥שְׁתְּ הָעֵדָ֖ה וּבְעִירָֽם׃ (ס) (יב) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ה' אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֣ה וְאֶֽל־אַהֲרֹן֒ יַ֚עַן לֹא־הֶאֱמַנְתֶּ֣ם בִּ֔י לְהַ֨קְדִּישֵׁ֔נִי לְעֵינֵ֖י בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל לָכֵ֗ן לֹ֤א תָבִ֙יאוּ֙ אֶת־הַקָּהָ֣ל הַזֶּ֔ה אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־נָתַ֥תִּי לָהֶֽם׃ (יג) הֵ֚מָּה מֵ֣י מְרִיבָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־רָב֥וּ בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל אֶת־ה' וַיִּקָּדֵ֖שׁ בָּֽם׃ (ס)

(1) The Israelites arrived in a body at the wilderness of Zin on the first new moon, and the people stayed at Kadesh. Miriam died there and was buried there. (2) The community was without water, and they joined against Moses and Aaron. (3) The people quarreled with Moses, saying, “If only we had perished when our brothers perished at the instance of the ETERNAL! (4) Why have you brought the ETERNAL’s congregation into this wilderness for us and our beasts to die there? (5) Why did you make us leave Egypt to bring us to this wretched place, a place with no grain or figs or vines or pomegranates? There is not even water to drink!” (6) Moses and Aaron came away from the congregation to the entrance of the Tent of Meeting, and fell on their faces. The Presence of the ETERNAL appeared to them, (7) and the ETERNAL spoke to Moses, saying, (8) “You and your brother Aaron take the rod and assemble the community, and before their very eyes order the rock to yield its water. Thus you shall produce water for them from the rock and provide drink for the congregation and their beasts.” (9) Moses took the rod from before the ETERNAL, as He had commanded him. (10) Moses and Aaron assembled the congregation in front of the rock; and he said to them, “Listen, you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?” (11) And Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod. Out came copious water, and the community and their beasts drank. (12) But the ETERNAL said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust Me enough to affirm My sanctity in the sight of the Israelite people, therefore you shall not lead this congregation into the land that I have given them.” (13) Those are the Waters of Meribah—meaning that the Israelites quarreled with the ETERNAL—through which He affirmed His sanctity.

- Who is Moses frustrated with?

- Who does his frustration impact?

- In what ways does your frustration come out?

- What are healthy ways to release stress?

Care and Self-Care

רַבִּי חִיָּיא בַּר אַבָּא חֲלַשׁ. עָל לְגַבֵּיהּ רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן אֲמַר לֵיהּ: חֲבִיבִין עָלֶיךָ יִסּוּרִין? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לֹא הֵן וְלֹא שְׂכָרָן. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: הַב לִי יְדָךְ. יְהַב לֵיהּ יְדֵיהּ, וְאוֹקְמֵיהּ. רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן חֲלַשׁ. עָל לְגַבֵּיהּ רַבִּי חֲנִינָא. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: חֲבִיבִין עָלֶיךָ יִסּוּרִין? אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לֹא הֵן וְלֹא שְׂכָרָן. אֲמַר לֵיהּ: הַב לִי יְדָךְ. יְהַב לֵיהּ יְדֵיהּ, וְאוֹקְמֵיהּ. אַמַּאי, לוֹקִים רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן לְנַפְשֵׁיהּ? אָמְרִי: אֵין חָבוּשׁ מַתִּיר עַצְמוֹ מִבֵּית הָאֲסוּרִים.
The Gemara continues to address the issue of suffering and affliction: Rabbi Yoḥanan’s student, Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba, fell ill. Rabbi Yoḥanan entered to visit him, and said to him: Is your suffering dear to you? Do you desire to be ill and afflicted? Rabbi Ḥiyya said to him: I welcome neither this suffering nor its reward, as one who welcomes this suffering with love is rewarded. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Give me your hand. Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba gave him his hand, and Rabbi Yoḥanan stood him up and restored him to health. Similarly, Rabbi Yoḥanan fell ill. Rabbi Ḥanina entered to visit him, and said to him: Is your suffering dear to you? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: I welcome neither this suffering nor its reward. Rabbi Ḥanina said to him: Give me your hand. He gave him his hand, and Rabbi Ḥanina stood him up and restored him to health. The Gemara asks: Why did Rabbi Yoḥanan wait for Rabbi Ḥanina to restore him to health? If he was able to heal his student, let Rabbi Yoḥanan stand himself up. The Gemara answers, they say: A prisoner cannot generally free himself from prison, but depends on others to release him from his shackles.

Do you find that helping others is much easier than self-care for you? If so, why do you think that is?

Take a break

דַּע, כִּי עִקָּר הַחַיִּים הִיא הַתּוֹרָה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: כִּי הוּא חַיֶּיךָ וְאֹרֶךְ יָמֶיךָ (דברים ל׳:כ׳), וְכָל הַפּוֹרֵשׁ מִן הַתּוֹרָה כְּפוֹרֵשׁ מִן הַחַיִּים (זוהר לך לך דף צב, בהעלותך דף קמח, ואתחנן דף רס). וְעַל־כֵּן לִכְאוֹרָה הַדָּבָר תָּמוּהַּ וְנִפְלָא, אֵיךְ אֶפְשָׁר לִפְרֹשׁ עַצְמוֹ מִן הַתּוֹרָה אֲפִלּוּ שָׁעָה קַלָּה.

וּבֶאֱמֶת זֶהוּ מִן הַנִּמְנָע וּבִלְתִּי אֶפְשָׁר לִהְיוֹת דָּבוּק בְּהַתּוֹרָה, תָּמִיד יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה, בְּלִי הֶפְסֵק רֶגַע, וְכָל בַּעַל־תּוֹרָה, הֵן לַמְדָן שֶׁעוֹסֵק בְּלִמּוּד הַתּוֹרָה בְּגמפ"ת [בִּגְמָרָא, פֵּרוּשׁ רַשִׁ"י, תּוֹסָפוֹת] וְכַיּוֹצֵא, כָּל אֶחָד כְּפִי עֶרְכּוֹ, כְּפִי עֵסֶק לִמּוּדוֹ, בְּהֶכְרֵחַ שֶׁיִּבָּטֵל מֵהַתּוֹרָה אֵיזֶה שָׁעָה בַּיּוֹם. וְכֵן אֲפִלּוּ בַּעַל הַשָּׂגָה, וַאֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁהוּא גָּבוֹהַּ יוֹתֵר וְיוֹתֵר לְמַעְלָה לְמַעְלָה, אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן בְּהֶכְרֵחַ שֶׁיַּפְסִיק וְיִבָטֵּל מֵהַשָּׂגָתוֹ אֵיזֶה זְמַן, כִּי אִי אֶפְשָׁר לִהְיוֹת דָּבוּק תָּמִיד בְּתוֹרָה וְהַשָּׂגָה בְּלִי הֶפְסֵק. כִּי צְרִיכִין בְּהֶכְרֵחַ לְהַפְסִיק אֵיזֶה שָׁעָה, אִם לַעֲשׂוֹת אֵיזֶה מַשָּׂא־וּמַתָּן אוֹ כַּיּוֹצֵא בָּזֶה, כִּי צְרִיכִין לַעֲסֹק בְּצָרְכֵי הַגּוּף גַם־כֵּן.

Know! the Torah is the essence of life, as it is written, “for it is your life and the length of your days” (Deuteronomy 30:20). Anyone who separates from the Torah it is as if he separates from life (Zohar I, 92a). Therefore, on the face of it, the matter is puzzling and amazing. How is it possible to separate oneself from the Torah even for a short while?

In fact, it is unavoidable; it is impossible to be constantly attached to the Torah, day and night, without a moment’s interruption. Every Torah devotee, including the scholar who studies Talmud and its commentators, and the like—each one commensurate with his level, according to the subject matter he studies—must absent himself from the Torah for some time during the day. The same is true also of one with deep mystical insight, and also of one who is much, much loftier. Even so, he must interrupt and set aside his perceiving for a while, because it is impossible to continuously cleave to Torah or mystical perception, without interruption. Of necessity one must stop for a while, to engage in some business or the like, because one must also care for the body’s needs.

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov was born in 1772 in Poland. He was the great-grandson of Baal Shem Tov and one of the revivers of the Chasidic movement by combining Kaballah and in-depth Torah study. He accumulated thousands of followers in his lifetime and still has a huge influence of many Chasidic dynasties today (including of Na Nach Nachma Nachman M'Uman fame).

Likutei Moharan is a collection of Rebbe Nachman's teachings. Rebbe Nachman believed that Torah study was essential but also believed in self-care and encouraged his followers to take at least one hour out of their day to be alone in conversation with G-d (Hitbodedus).

- How do you feel when you take a break from hadracha?

- What do you take breaks for?

- What helps to "keep the world turning" when you take a break?

- Do you feel like you receive unearned kindnesses?