Dismantling the Patriarchy from All Sides
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ShareSources from essay by Evan Traylor in The Social Justice Torah Commentary
Sources from essay by Evan Traylor
in The Social Justice Torah Commentary
in The Social Justice Torah Commentary
A powerful man, sweet talking and lustful, rapes a woman. Other men become involved and ignore the feelings and reactions of the woman. Ultimately, deadly revenge is enacted upon the rapist. The woman is never heard from again, and we do not know if she feels justice has been achieved. Tragically, components of this story from Parashat Vayishlach exist throughout our society today.
-Evan Traylor
-Evan Traylor
(א) וַתֵּצֵ֤א דִינָה֙ בַּת־לֵאָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר יָלְדָ֖ה לְיַעֲקֹ֑ב לִרְא֖וֹת בִּבְנ֥וֹת הָאָֽרֶץ׃ (ב) וַיַּ֨רְא אֹתָ֜הּ שְׁכֶ֧ם בֶּן־חֲמ֛וֹר הַֽחִוִּ֖י נְשִׂ֣יא הָאָ֑רֶץ וַיִּקַּ֥ח אֹתָ֛הּ וַיִּשְׁכַּ֥ב אֹתָ֖הּ וַיְעַנֶּֽהָ׃ (ג) וַתִּדְבַּ֣ק נַפְשׁ֔וֹ בְּדִינָ֖ה בַּֽת־יַעֲקֹ֑ב וַיֶּֽאֱהַב֙ אֶת־הַֽנַּעֲרָ֔ וַיְדַבֵּ֖ר עַל־לֵ֥ב הַֽנַּעֲרָֽ׃
(1) Now Dinah, the daughter whom Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land. (2) Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, chief of the country, saw her, and took her and lay with her and disgraced her. (3) Being strongly drawn to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and in love with the maiden, he spoke to the maiden tenderly.
(א) ותדבק נפשו בדינה בת יעקב, דבקה נפשו בה בעבור יפיה ועוד שהיתה בת אדם גדול ונכבד.
(1) ותדבק נפשו בדינה בת יעקב, his soul felt a strong attachment to her on account of her beauty as well as on account of the fact that she was the daughter of an outstanding personality, Yaakov.
(א) נשיא הארץ. פירוש ובזה צעקה הנערה ואין מושיע לה:
(1) נשיא הארץ, the prince of the land, etc. Shechem's position in the community was the reason that no one came to Dinah's assistance when she cried for help against being raped.
(ז) וַיָּשֻׁ֙בוּ֙ הַמַּלְאָכִ֔ים אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֖ב לֵאמֹ֑ר בָּ֤אנוּ אֶל־אָחִ֙יךָ֙ אֶל־עֵשָׂ֔ו וְגַם֙ הֹלֵ֣ךְ לִקְרָֽאתְךָ֔ וְאַרְבַּע־מֵא֥וֹת אִ֖ישׁ עִמּֽוֹ׃ (ח) וַיִּירָ֧א יַעֲקֹ֛ב מְאֹ֖ד וַיֵּ֣צֶר ל֑וֹ וַיַּ֜חַץ אֶת־הָעָ֣ם אֲשֶׁר־אִתּ֗וֹ וְאֶת־הַצֹּ֧אן וְאֶת־הַבָּקָ֛ר וְהַגְּמַלִּ֖ים לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃ (ט) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר אִם־יָב֥וֹא עֵשָׂ֛ו אֶל־הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הָאַחַ֖ת וְהִכָּ֑הוּ וְהָיָ֛ה הַמַּחֲנֶ֥ה הַנִּשְׁאָ֖ר לִפְלֵיטָֽה׃ (י) וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ יַעֲקֹב֒ אֱלֹהֵי֙ אָבִ֣י אַבְרָהָ֔ם וֵאלֹהֵ֖י אָבִ֣י יִצְחָ֑ק יְהֹוָ֞ה הָאֹמֵ֣ר אֵלַ֗י שׁ֧וּב לְאַרְצְךָ֛ וּלְמוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וְאֵיטִ֥יבָה עִמָּֽךְ׃ (יא) קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכׇּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֣י בְמַקְלִ֗י עָבַ֙רְתִּי֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֣ן הַזֶּ֔ה וְעַתָּ֥ה הָיִ֖יתִי לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃ (יב) הַצִּילֵ֥נִי נָ֛א מִיַּ֥ד אָחִ֖י מִיַּ֣ד עֵשָׂ֑ו כִּֽי־יָרֵ֤א אָנֹכִי֙ אֹת֔וֹ פֶּן־יָב֣וֹא וְהִכַּ֔נִי אֵ֖ם עַל־בָּנִֽים׃
(7) The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, “We came to your brother Esau; he himself is coming to meet you, and his retinue numbers four hundred.” (8) Jacob was greatly frightened; in his anxiety, he divided the people with him, and the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps, (9) thinking, “If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, the other camp may yet escape.” (10) Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham’s [house] and God of my father Isaac’s [house], O יהוה, who said to me, ‘Return to your native land and I will deal bountifully with you’! (11) I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant: with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. (12) Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear, he may come and strike me down, mothers and children alike.
(א) ויירא ויצר. וַיִּירָא שֶׁמָּא יֵהָרֵג, וַיֵּצֶר לוֹ אִם יַהֲרֹג הוּא אֶת אֲחֵרִים (בראשית רבה ותנחומא):
(1) ויירא...ויצר HE FEARED GREATLY AND WAS DISTRESSED — He was afraid lest he be killed, and he was distressed that he might have to kill someone (Genesis Rabbah 76:2).
Patriarchal ideas tell men that they must "kill or be killed" that to survive and thrive in life requires being aggressive toward others in order to dominate them through all spheres of life. In this instance, Jacob is sadly forced to contend with this harmful idea. Without the rigid protocols of patriarchy, there would always be an opportunity for true reconciliation and peace.
-Evan Traylor
-Evan Traylor
(כה) וַיִּוָּתֵ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְבַדּ֑וֹ וַיֵּאָבֵ֥ק אִישׁ֙ עִמּ֔וֹ עַ֖ד עֲל֥וֹת הַשָּֽׁחַר׃ (כו) וַיַּ֗רְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יָכֹל֙ ל֔וֹ וַיִּגַּ֖ע בְּכַף־יְרֵכ֑וֹ וַתֵּ֙קַע֙ כַּף־יֶ֣רֶךְ יַעֲקֹ֔ב בְּהֵאָֽבְק֖וֹ עִמּֽוֹ׃ (כז) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר שַׁלְּחֵ֔נִי כִּ֥י עָלָ֖ה הַשָּׁ֑חַר וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ לֹ֣א אֲשַֽׁלֵּחֲךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־בֵּרַכְתָּֽנִי׃
(25) Jacob was left alone. And a figure wrestled with him until the break of dawn. (26) When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled with him. (27) Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.” But he answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.”
This transformation bears fruit the next day: When they meet, both Jacob and Esau lay down their aggressive, patriarchal mindsets and lovingly embrace one another.
-Evan Traylor
-Evan Traylor
(ד) וַיָּ֨רׇץ עֵשָׂ֤ו לִקְרָאתוֹ֙ וַֽיְחַבְּקֵ֔הוּ וַיִּפֹּ֥ל עַל־צַוָּארָ֖ו וַׄיִּׄשָּׁׄקֵ֑ׄהׄוּׄ וַיִּבְכּֽוּ׃
(4) Esau ran to greet him. He embraced him and, falling on his neck, he kissed him; and they wept.
However, throughout the rest of the parashah, Jacob is identified by both "Jacob" and "Israel," marking an incomplete name change and therefore an incomplete transformation. Following Shechem's rape of Dinah, we see that Jacob has not fully shed his mask of toxic masculinity, and the patriarchy has not disappeared from society.
-Evan Traylor
-Evan Traylor
(ח) וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר חֲמ֖וֹר אִתָּ֣ם לֵאמֹ֑ר שְׁכֶ֣ם בְּנִ֗י חָֽשְׁקָ֤ה נַפְשׁוֹ֙ בְּבִתְּכֶ֔ם תְּנ֨וּ נָ֥א אֹתָ֛הּ ל֖וֹ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃
(8) And Hamor spoke with them, saying, “My son Shechem longs for your daughter. Please give her to him in marriage.
(יג) וַיַּעֲנ֨וּ בְנֵֽי־יַעֲקֹ֜ב אֶת־שְׁכֶ֨ם וְאֶת־חֲמ֥וֹר אָבִ֛יו בְּמִרְמָ֖ה וַיְדַבֵּ֑רוּ אֲשֶׁ֣ר טִמֵּ֔א אֵ֖ת דִּינָ֥ה אֲחֹתָֽם׃ (יד) וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ אֲלֵיהֶ֗ם לֹ֤א נוּכַל֙ לַעֲשׂוֹת֙ הַדָּבָ֣ר הַזֶּ֔ה לָתֵת֙ אֶת־אֲחֹתֵ֔נוּ לְאִ֖ישׁ אֲשֶׁר־ל֣וֹ עׇרְלָ֑ה כִּֽי־חֶרְפָּ֥ה הִ֖וא לָֽנוּ׃ (טו) אַךְ־בְּזֹ֖את נֵא֣וֹת לָכֶ֑ם אִ֚ם תִּהְי֣וּ כָמֹ֔נוּ לְהִמֹּ֥ל לָכֶ֖ם כׇּל־זָכָֽר׃ (טז) וְנָתַ֤נּוּ אֶת־בְּנֹתֵ֙ינוּ֙ לָכֶ֔ם וְאֶת־בְּנֹתֵיכֶ֖ם נִֽקַּֽח־לָ֑נוּ וְיָשַׁ֣בְנוּ אִתְּכֶ֔ם וְהָיִ֖ינוּ לְעַ֥ם אֶחָֽד׃ (יז) וְאִם־לֹ֧א תִשְׁמְע֛וּ אֵלֵ֖ינוּ לְהִמּ֑וֹל וְלָקַ֥חְנוּ אֶת־בִּתֵּ֖נוּ וְהָלָֽכְנוּ׃
(13) Jacob’s sons answered Shechem and his father Hamor—speaking with guile because he had defiled their sister Dinah— (14) and said to them, “We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to a man who is uncircumcised, for that is a disgrace among us. (15) Only on this condition will we agree with you; that you will become like us in that every male among you is circumcised. (16) Then we will give our daughters to you and take your daughters to ourselves; and we will dwell among you and become as one kindred. (17) But if you will not listen to us and become circumcised, we will take our daughter and go.”
(כה) וַיְהִי֩ בַיּ֨וֹם הַשְּׁלִישִׁ֜י בִּֽהְיוֹתָ֣ם כֹּֽאֲבִ֗ים וַיִּקְח֣וּ שְׁנֵֽי־בְנֵי־יַ֠עֲקֹ֠ב שִׁמְע֨וֹן וְלֵוִ֜י אֲחֵ֤י דִינָה֙ אִ֣ישׁ חַרְבּ֔וֹ וַיָּבֹ֥אוּ עַל־הָעִ֖יר בֶּ֑טַח וַיַּֽהַרְג֖וּ כׇּל־זָכָֽר׃
(25) On the third day, when they were in pain, Simeon and Levi, two of Jacob’s sons, brothers of Dinah, took each his sword, came upon the city unmolested, and slew all the males.
(כז) בְּנֵ֣י יַעֲקֹ֗ב בָּ֚אוּ עַל־הַ֣חֲלָלִ֔ים וַיָּבֹ֖זּוּ הָעִ֑יר אֲשֶׁ֥ר טִמְּא֖וּ אֲחוֹתָֽם׃ (כח) אֶת־צֹאנָ֥ם וְאֶת־בְּקָרָ֖ם וְאֶת־חֲמֹרֵיהֶ֑ם וְאֵ֧ת אֲשֶׁר־בָּעִ֛יר וְאֶת־אֲשֶׁ֥ר בַּשָּׂדֶ֖ה לָקָֽחוּ׃ (כט) וְאֶת־כׇּל־חֵילָ֤ם וְאֶת־כׇּל־טַפָּם֙ וְאֶת־נְשֵׁיהֶ֔ם שָׁב֖וּ וַיָּבֹ֑זּוּ וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֥ר בַּבָּֽיִת׃
(27) The other sons of Jacob came upon the slain and plundered the town, because their sister had been defiled. (28) They seized their flocks and herds and asses, all that was inside the town and outside; (29) all their wealth, all their children, and their wives, all that was in the houses, they took as captives and booty.
(לא) וַיֹּאמְר֑וּ הַכְזוֹנָ֕ה יַעֲשֶׂ֖ה אֶת־אֲחוֹתֵֽנוּ׃ {פ}
(31) But they answered, “Should our sister be treated like a whore?”
Throughout these components of the story, we see that Jacob's transformation does not extend to washing away his patriarchal ideas and actions. Although they do not perpetrate Shechem-like sexual violence, Jacob and his sons reveal internalized patriarchal ideas emphasizing domination over healing justice as they silence their own daughter and sister, bargain with the father of Dinah's attacker, and lead a murderous rampage in revenge...
Knowing the destructive impact of patriarchy and witnessing its brutality in our Torah and throughout society, men must work forcefully to destroy the current structures of toxic masculinity. We must imagine a world in which we do not seek to dominate others phys-ically, sexually, or emotionally--a world in which we are no longer insecure, feel as if we must fight, or imagine that we must know all of the answers. That world is possible, but it will require more than individual transformations. As we witness with Jacob, individual transformation is not enough. Only systemic change will ensure that each and every person feels safe, valued, and loved.
-Evan Traylor
Knowing the destructive impact of patriarchy and witnessing its brutality in our Torah and throughout society, men must work forcefully to destroy the current structures of toxic masculinity. We must imagine a world in which we do not seek to dominate others phys-ically, sexually, or emotionally--a world in which we are no longer insecure, feel as if we must fight, or imagine that we must know all of the answers. That world is possible, but it will require more than individual transformations. As we witness with Jacob, individual transformation is not enough. Only systemic change will ensure that each and every person feels safe, valued, and loved.
-Evan Traylor
Discussion Questions by Ariel Tovlev
- What are some examples of patriarchal behaviors and attitudes that Traylor highlights from Parashat Vayishlach? What are some examples of subversion of patriarchy in the parashah that Traylor highlights?
- How does Traylor illustrate that it is not enough to go through personal transformation alone? How might each of us be involved in societal change?
- Although it isn’t enough by itself, personal transformation can be a powerful
catalyst to motivate someone to work toward societal change. Have you had a personal transformation that motivated you? What was it? How do you maintain the motivation to continue to work toward positive change?
