The Gift of Responsibility: What Can We Teach the Young, What Can the Young Teach Us?

תְּנֵינָא לְהָא דְּתָנוּ רַבָּנַן הָאָב חַיָּיב בִּבְנוֹ לְמוּלוֹ וְלִפְדוֹתוֹ וּלְלַמְּדוֹ תּוֹרָה וּלְהַשִּׂיאוֹ אִשָּׁה וּלְלַמְּדוֹ אוּמָּנוּת וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים אַף לַהֲשִׁיטוֹ בַּמַּיִם רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אוֹמֵר כֹּל שֶׁאֵינוֹ מְלַמֵּד אֶת בְּנוֹ אוּמָּנוּת מְלַמְּדוֹ לִיסְטוּת לִיסְטוּת סָלְקָא דַּעְתָּךְ אֶלָּא כְּאִילּוּ מְלַמְּדוֹ לִיסְטוּת

Kiddushin 29a:10

The Gemara comments: According to this interpretation, we learn in this mishna that which the Sages taught in a baraita: A father is obligated with regard to his son to circumcise him, and to redeem him if he is a firstborn son who must be redeemed by payment to a priest, and to teach him Torah, and to marry him to a woman, and to teach him a trade. And some say: A father is also obligated to teach his son to swim. Rabbi Yehuda says: Any father who does not teach his son a trade teaches him banditry [listut]. The Gemara expresses surprise at this statement: Can it enter your mind that he actually teaches him banditry? Rather, the baraita means that it is as though he teaches him banditry. Since the son has no profession with which to support himself, he is likely to turn to theft for a livelihood. This baraita accords with Rav Yehuda’s interpretation of the mishna.

What are your initial reactions to this list? Do the obligations feel timeless? Outdated?
Is this what you expected? Why or why not? What did you imagine they would say?
What do you see is missing from the list, or what is glaringly absent? (for example, there is no mention of loving your child)
The Talmud is structured in a way that generally articulates very specific cases and from those it later derives general principles-rather than the other way around. So let's imagine each of these things you have to do is a category unto itself. Could we rename these as categories? For example, when it says: "teach Torah" does it mean "givce an education' or 'foster Jewish identity?' Let's try it for each one.

מנחות כ״ט ב:ג׳-ה׳

אמר רב יהודה אמר רב בשעה שעלה משה למרום מצאו להקב"ה שיושב וקושר כתרים לאותיות אמר לפניו רבש"ע מי מעכב על ידך אמר לו אדם אחד יש שעתיד להיות בסוף כמה דורות ועקיבא בן יוסף שמו שעתיד לדרוש על כל קוץ וקוץ תילין תילין של הלכות אמר לפניו רבש"ע הראהו לי אמר לו חזור לאחורך הלך וישב בסוף שמונה שורות ולא היה יודע מה הן אומרים תשש כחו כיון שהגיע לדבר אחד אמרו לו תלמידיו רבי מנין לך אמר להן הלכה למשה מסיני נתיישבה דעתו

Menachot 29b:3-5

§ Rav Yehuda says that Rav says: When Moses ascended on High, he found the Holy One, Blessed be He, sitting and tying crowns on the letters of the Torah. Moses said before God: Master of the Universe, who is preventing You from giving the Torah without these additions? God said to him: There is a man who is destined to be born after several generations, and Akiva ben Yosef is his name; he is destined to derive from each and every thorn of these crowns mounds upon mounds of halakhot. It is for his sake that the crowns must be added to the letters of the Torah. Moses said before God: Master of the Universe, show him to me. God said to him: Return behind you. Moses went and sat at the end of the eighth row in Rabbi Akiva’s study hall and did not understand what they were saying. Moses’ strength waned, as he thought his Torah knowledge was deficient. When Rabbi Akiva arrived at the discussion of one matter, his students said to him: My teacher, from where do you derive this? Rabbi Akiva said to them: It is a halakha transmitted to Moses from Sinai. When Moses heard this, his mind was put at ease, as this too was part of the Torah that he was to receive.

What is happening here, in your own words? Let's summarize.
Who is learning from whom in this story? Why is important to Akiva to connect his teaching to Moses, even when Moses clearly doesn't know what he is talking about?
In this story, Moses finds that the Torah is incomprehensible to him in its later forms as Rabbi Akiva renders it. What are the positives and negatives of this process (later generations repurposing your work, or interpreting it anew)? Moreover, is this unavoidable?

More to Think About:

Moses and Rabbi Akiva were many generations apart and yet still connected. What do you imagine your great, great, great, great grandchildren will know about you? Where will they see your fingerprints?
What would your great, great, great grandparents say if they could see you now?
What advice would you give the next generation about how to teach and also learn from the generation that follows them?

Neil Zuckerman