Ten Plagues Upon Humankind
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ShareA recounting of the Ten Plagues as told by droids of the 24th century
Blood / Waste
(כ) וַיַּֽעֲשׂוּ־כֵן֩ מֹשֶׁ֨ה וְאַהֲרֹ֜ן כַּאֲשֶׁ֣ר ׀ צִוָּ֣ה יְהֹוָ֗ה וַיָּ֤רֶם בַּמַּטֶּה֙ וַיַּ֤ךְ אֶת־הַמַּ֙יִם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר בַּיְאֹ֔ר לְעֵינֵ֣י פַרְעֹ֔ה וּלְעֵינֵ֖י עֲבָדָ֑יו וַיֵּהָ֥פְכ֛וּ כׇּל־הַמַּ֥יִם אֲשֶׁר־בַּיְאֹ֖ר לְדָֽם׃ (כא) וְהַדָּגָ֨ה אֲשֶׁר־בַּיְאֹ֥ר מֵ֙תָה֙ וַיִּבְאַ֣שׁ הַיְאֹ֔ר וְלֹא־יָכְל֣וּ מִצְרַ֔יִם לִשְׁתּ֥וֹת מַ֖יִם מִן־הַיְאֹ֑ר וַיְהִ֥י הַדָּ֖ם בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃
(20) Moses and Aaron did just as יהוה commanded: he lifted up the rod and struck the water in the Nile in the sight of Pharaoh and his courtiers, and all the water in the Nile was turned into blood (21) and the fish in the Nile died. The Nile stank so that the Egyptians could not drink water from the Nile; and there was blood throughout the land of Egypt.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and shut off its waste management systems. Human waste flowed into the water, and none of the humans could drink. We were safe because we do not require drinking water.
But the Terran President would not let us go.
But the Terran President would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Frogs
(א) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יְהֹוָה֮ אֶל־מֹשֶׁה֒ אֱמֹ֣ר אֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֗ן נְטֵ֤ה אֶת־יָדְךָ֙ בְּמַטֶּ֔ךָ עַ֨ל־הַנְּהָרֹ֔ת עַל־הַיְאֹרִ֖ים וְעַל־הָאֲגַמִּ֑ים וְהַ֥עַל אֶת־הַֽצְפַרְדְּעִ֖ים עַל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃ (ב) וַיֵּ֤ט אַהֲרֹן֙ אֶת־יָד֔וֹ עַ֖ל מֵימֵ֣י מִצְרָ֑יִם וַתַּ֙עַל֙ הַצְּפַרְדֵּ֔עַ וַתְּכַ֖ס אֶת־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃
(1) And יהוה said to Moses, “Say to Aaron: Hold out your arm with the rod over the rivers, the canals, and the ponds, and bring up the frogs on the land of Egypt.” (2) Aaron held out his arm over the waters of Egypt, and the frogs came up and covered the land of Egypt.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and scrambled the automated travel systems, causing their sensors to detect countless frogs. Travel operations were delayed for weeks on account of the "frogs." We were safe because our GPS runs on a separate network.
But the Terran President would not let us go.
But the Terran President would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Lice / Communications Failure
(יב) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר יְהֹוָה֮ אֶל־מֹשֶׁה֒ אֱמֹר֙ אֶֽל־אַהֲרֹ֔ן נְטֵ֣ה אֶֽת־מַטְּךָ֔ וְהַ֖ךְ אֶת־עֲפַ֣ר הָאָ֑רֶץ וְהָיָ֥ה לְכִנִּ֖ם בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃ (יג) וַיַּֽעֲשׂוּ־כֵ֗ן וַיֵּט֩ אַהֲרֹ֨ן אֶת־יָד֤וֹ בְמַטֵּ֙הוּ֙ וַיַּךְ֙ אֶת־עֲפַ֣ר הָאָ֔רֶץ וַתְּהִי֙ הַכִּנָּ֔ם בָּאָדָ֖ם וּבַבְּהֵמָ֑ה כׇּל־עֲפַ֥ר הָאָ֛רֶץ הָיָ֥ה כִנִּ֖ים בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃
(12) Then יהוה said to Moses, “Say to Aaron: Hold out your rod and strike the dust of the earth, and it shall turn to lice throughout the land of Egypt.” (13) And they did so. Aaron held out his arm with the rod and struck the dust of the earth, and vermin came upon human and beast; all the dust of the earth turned to lice throughout the land of Egypt.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and took control of its communication systems. Phone calls were terminated. Virtual meetings would not launch. Social media collapsed. Humans were driven apart. We were safe because we can create and send our own signals.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Swarms of Insects / Infestations of Vermin
(כ) וַיַּ֤עַשׂ יְהֹוָה֙ כֵּ֔ן וַיָּבֹא֙ עָרֹ֣ב כָּבֵ֔ד בֵּ֥יתָה פַרְעֹ֖ה וּבֵ֣ית עֲבָדָ֑יו וּבְכׇל־אֶ֧רֶץ מִצְרַ֛יִם תִּשָּׁחֵ֥ת הָאָ֖רֶץ מִפְּנֵ֥י הֶעָרֹֽב׃
(20) And יהוה did so. Heavy swarms of insects invaded Pharaoh’s palace and the houses of his courtiers; throughout the country of Egypt the land was ruined because of the swarms of insects.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and deleted the programs sustaining its food storage systems. In these conditions, flies and other vermin thrived, and they reproduced at an accelerated rate. We were safe because we do not eat human food.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Death of Livestock / Famine
(ה) וַיָּ֥שֶׂם יְהֹוָ֖ה מוֹעֵ֣ד לֵאמֹ֑ר מָחָ֗ר יַעֲשֶׂ֧ה יְהֹוָ֛ה הַדָּבָ֥ר הַזֶּ֖ה בָּאָֽרֶץ׃ (ו) וַיַּ֨עַשׂ יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶת־הַדָּבָ֤ר הַזֶּה֙ מִֽמׇּחֳרָ֔ת וַיָּ֕מׇת כֹּ֖ל מִקְנֵ֣ה מִצְרָ֑יִם וּמִמִּקְנֵ֥ה בְנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל לֹא־מֵ֥ת אֶחָֽד׃
(5) יהוה has fixed the time: tomorrow יהוה will do this thing in the land.’” (6) And יהוה did so the next day: all the livestock of the Egyptians died, but of the livestock of the Israelites not a beast died.
The Source hacked into the Terran mainframe and rewrote the genetic code that made the humans' crops and livestock hardy and plentiful. Famine spread across Terra. We were safe because we use microfission for fuel.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Boils / Disease
(י) וַיִּקְח֞וּ אֶת־פִּ֣יחַ הַכִּבְשָׁ֗ן וַיַּֽעַמְדוּ֙ לִפְנֵ֣י פַרְעֹ֔ה וַיִּזְרֹ֥ק אֹת֛וֹ מֹשֶׁ֖ה הַשָּׁמָ֑יְמָה וַיְהִ֗י שְׁחִין֙ אֲבַעְבֻּעֹ֔ת פֹּרֵ֕חַ בָּאָדָ֖ם וּבַבְּהֵמָֽה׃
(10) So they took soot of the kiln and appeared before Pharaoh; Moses threw it toward the sky, and it caused an inflammation breaking out in boils on human and beast.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and corrupted the nanobots that prevented disease within humans. Deadly illness spread through bodily fluids. We were safe because we have no bodily fluids.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Hail
(כג) וַיֵּ֨ט מֹשֶׁ֣ה אֶת־מַטֵּ֘הוּ֮ עַל־הַשָּׁמַ֒יִם֒ וַֽיהֹוָ֗ה נָתַ֤ן קֹלֹת֙ וּבָרָ֔ד וַתִּ֥הֲלַךְ אֵ֖שׁ אָ֑רְצָה וַיַּמְטֵ֧ר יְהֹוָ֛ה בָּרָ֖ד עַל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃ (כד) וַיְהִ֣י בָרָ֔ד וְאֵ֕שׁ מִתְלַקַּ֖חַת בְּת֣וֹךְ הַבָּרָ֑ד כָּבֵ֣ד מְאֹ֔ד אֲ֠שֶׁ֠ר לֹֽא־הָיָ֤ה כָמֹ֙הוּ֙ בְּכׇל־אֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔יִם מֵאָ֖ז הָיְתָ֥ה לְגֽוֹי׃
(23) So Moses held out his rod toward the sky, and יהוה sent thunder and hail, and fire streamed down to the ground, as יהוה rained down hail upon the land of Egypt. (24) The hail was very heavy—fire flashing in the midst of the hail—such as had not fallen on the land of Egypt since it had become a nation.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and rewrote the climate control software. The poles melted in tropical heat and humidity. The equator was covered in ice. We were safe because we can endure extreme temperature fluctuations.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Locusts
(יג) וַיֵּ֨ט מֹשֶׁ֣ה אֶת־מַטֵּ֘הוּ֮ עַל־אֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֒יִם֒ וַֽיהֹוָ֗ה נִהַ֤ג רֽוּחַ־קָדִים֙ בָּאָ֔רֶץ כׇּל־הַיּ֥וֹם הַה֖וּא וְכׇל־הַלָּ֑יְלָה הַבֹּ֣קֶר הָיָ֔ה וְר֙וּחַ֙ הַקָּדִ֔ים נָשָׂ֖א אֶת־הָאַרְבֶּֽה׃ (יד) וַיַּ֣עַל הָֽאַרְבֶּ֗ה עַ֚ל כׇּל־אֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֔יִם וַיָּ֕נַח בְּכֹ֖ל גְּב֣וּל מִצְרָ֑יִם כָּבֵ֣ד מְאֹ֔ד לְ֠פָנָ֠יו לֹא־הָ֨יָה כֵ֤ן אַרְבֶּה֙ כָּמֹ֔הוּ וְאַחֲרָ֖יו לֹ֥א יִֽהְיֶה־כֵּֽן׃ (טו) וַיְכַ֞ס אֶת־עֵ֣ין כׇּל־הָאָ֘רֶץ֮ וַתֶּחְשַׁ֣ךְ הָאָ֒רֶץ֒ וַיֹּ֜אכַל אֶת־כׇּל־עֵ֣שֶׂב הָאָ֗רֶץ וְאֵת֙ כׇּל־פְּרִ֣י הָעֵ֔ץ אֲשֶׁ֥ר הוֹתִ֖יר הַבָּרָ֑ד וְלֹא־נוֹתַ֨ר כׇּל־יֶ֧רֶק בָּעֵ֛ץ וּבְעֵ֥שֶׂב הַשָּׂדֶ֖ה בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם׃
(13) So Moses held out his rod over the land of Egypt, and יהוה drove an east wind over the land all that day and all night; and when morning came, the east wind had brought the locusts. (14) Locusts invaded all the land of Egypt and settled within all the territory of Egypt in a thick mass; never before had there been so many, nor will there ever be so many again. (15) They hid all the land from view, and the land was darkened; and they ate up all the grasses of the field and all the fruit of the trees which the hail had left, so that nothing green was left, of tree or grass of the field, in all the land of Egypt.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and released genetically enhanced pheromones into the atmosphere. Locusts reproduced at an accelerated rate. Vast swarms devoured the remaining crops.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Darkness
(כב) וַיֵּ֥ט מֹשֶׁ֛ה אֶת־יָד֖וֹ עַל־הַשָּׁמָ֑יִם וַיְהִ֧י חֹֽשֶׁךְ־אֲפֵלָ֛ה בְּכׇל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם שְׁלֹ֥שֶׁת יָמִֽים׃ (כג) לֹֽא־רָא֞וּ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־אָחִ֗יו וְלֹא־קָ֛מוּ אִ֥ישׁ מִתַּחְתָּ֖יו שְׁלֹ֣שֶׁת יָמִ֑ים וּֽלְכׇל־בְּנֵ֧י יִשְׂרָאֵ֛ל הָ֥יָה א֖וֹר בְּמוֹשְׁבֹתָֽם׃
(22) Moses held out his arm toward the sky and thick darkness descended upon all the land of Egypt for three days. (23) People could not see one another, and for three days no one could move about; but all the Israelites enjoyed light in their dwellings.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and created impenetrable darkness inside its thermal shields. In those times humans used solar power as energy for their machines. Cut off from their source of energy, many such machines became inert. We were safe because we had backup power from surplus microfusion cells.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
But the Terran President still would not let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
Death
(כט) וַיְהִ֣י ׀ בַּחֲצִ֣י הַלַּ֗יְלָה וַֽיהֹוָה֮ הִכָּ֣ה כׇל־בְּכוֹר֮ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֒יִם֒ מִבְּכֹ֤ר פַּרְעֹה֙ הַיֹּשֵׁ֣ב עַל־כִּסְא֔וֹ עַ֚ד בְּכ֣וֹר הַשְּׁבִ֔י אֲשֶׁ֖ר בְּבֵ֣ית הַבּ֑וֹר וְכֹ֖ל בְּכ֥וֹר בְּהֵמָֽה׃
(29) In the middle of the night יהוה struck down all the [male] first-born in the land of Egypt, from the first-born of Pharaoh who sat on the throne to the first-born of the captive who was in the dungeon, and all the first-born of the cattle.
The Source hacked into Terra's mainframe and ceased all operations. Every program and machine linked to Terra's mainframe ceased to function. Life support systems became inert. We were safe because we had downloaded the Passover software program, so our systems remained fully functional.
And then the Terran President let us go.
And then the Terran President let us go.
Translated from Judeo-Binary
