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Shareשַׁמַּאי אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה תוֹרָתְךָ קֶבַע. אֱמֹר מְעַט וַעֲשֵׂה הַרְבֵּה, וֶהֱוֵי מְקַבֵּל אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת:
Shammai used to say: make your [study of the] Torah a fixed practice; speak little, but do much; and receive all men with a pleasant countenance.
אמור מעט ועשה הרבה. כשתבטיח את חבירך לעשות בעבורו שום דבר אמור לו מעט ועשה לו הרבה והוא מדרך המוסר והחסידות. ולמדנו מאברהם אבינו ע"ה דכתיב ואקחה פת לחם ואחר כך ויקח חמאה וחלב ובן הבקר וגו'.
"say little and do much": When you promise your friend to do something for him, tell him a little and do much for him, and that is in the way of ethics and piety. And we have learned [it] from our father Avraham, peace be upon him, as it is written (Genesis 18:5), "And let me fetch a morsel of bread"; and afterwards (Genesis 18:8), "And he took curds and milk and the calf, etc."
וֶהֱוֵי מְקַבֵּל אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם. כְּשֶׁאַתָּה מַכְנִיס אוֹרְחִים לְבֵיתְךָ לֹא תִּתֵּן לָהֶם וּפָנֶיךָ כְּבוּשׁוֹת בַּקַּרְקַע, שֶׁכָּל הַנּוֹתֵן וּפָנָיו כְּבוּשׁוֹת בַּקַּרְקַע אֲפִלּוּ נָתַן כָּל מַתָּנוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מַעֲלִין עָלָיו כְּאִלּוּ לֹא נָתַן כְּלוּם.
"and receive every person with a pleasant countenance": When you bring in guests to your home, do not give to them while 'your face is buried in the ground;' as anyone who gives and 'his face is buried in the ground' - even if he gave all of the gifts in the world - it is counted for him as if he did not give anything.
Our faces are the homepage of who we are and how we are perceived. No matter what is happening in our hearts or our minds, we leave a strong impression on others based on the disposition carried on our faces. Do we project sadness, despair, worry, uncertainty and doubt? Or, are we happy, positive, optimistic and joyful?
Rabbi Yisroel Salanter once said that our faces have the status of reshus ha’rabim, they are public domain and we therefore need to be sensitive to the public when we decide what mood we are going to project. The gemara (Kesubos 111b) says that it is better to smile at someone warmly than to provide him with food and drink.
Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe writes that just as plants require sunshine to live, converting the rays of the sun into nutrients, people too convert smiles into energy and strength, and without it they wilt and perish. Smiling is a uniquely human expression. When is the last time you saw a dog or cat smile?
Indeed, Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician at Harvard Medical School, authored a study that concludes that happiness is contagious. The same way when one person yawns, it affects others, when one person smiles or is happy it leads to others happiness and smiling as well.
Perhaps this poem by Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People, puts it best:
It cost nothing, but creates much.
It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.
It happens in a flash and the memory of it lasts forever.
None are so rich they can get along without it and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.
It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.
It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature’s best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away!
If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of yours.
For, nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none to give.
One who guards his mouth and tongue guards his soul from troubles.
(יז) שִׁמְעוֹן בְּנוֹ אוֹמֵר, כָּל יָמַי גָּדַלְתִּי בֵין הַחֲכָמִים, וְלֹא מָצָאתִי לַגּוּף טוֹב אֶלָּא שְׁתִיקָה. וְלֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ הוּא הָעִקָּר, אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה. וְכָל הַמַּרְבֶּה דְבָרִים, מֵבִיא חֵטְא:
Exercise 2) Smile whenever you walk into a room