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Share- Is modesty hiding? Concealing? Being ashamed of or worried others will "sin" due to our beauty or greatness? Or perhaps denying that we have greatness or beauty all together?
- People must be aware of their good qualities, so they know to downplay them.
- Arrogance is CONQUERED not MAGNIFIED by recognizing our greatness.
- Modesty involves self-awareness joined with a belief in the intrinsic equality of people.
- As Goldilocks might say, there is a "just right" amount of modesty. Long before the three bears, Aristotle wrote that a virtue resides in the "golden mean" between extremes.
- Take courage, for instance: Running away at the first sign of danger is not courageous, but neither is running toward it, which is foolishness. True courage means striking a balance—using one's practical wisdom to know when to face danger and when to back away.
- The virtue of modesty, then, requires a similar balancing act between boasting of one's accomplishments and hiding them from view.
- On the surface, modesty seems to be focused inward, on how people think of themselves.
- It's more about how one sees and respects others.
- To be truly modest, you shouldn't deny your own triumphs.
- You have to be more cognizant—and considerate—than ignorant.
Concealment is both cause and effect of kavod. One who possesses kavod, a sense of dignity, will deal with it in a manner compatible with tzeniut. Modesty will characterize his conduct and personality as a reflection of that inner sense of worth….A person who has self-respect has no need to wear his virtues like a badge and show them off to the world….Tzeniut implies kavod both with regard to oneself and to others…Tzeniut means respect for the inviolability of the personal privacy of the individual, whether oneself or another, which is another way of saying that tzeniut is a respect for the integrity of one’s ego, of one’s essential self.
דהנה זה הוא כלל גדול: הצנע לכם עם אלוהך - שכל דרכיו של אדם צריך להיות בהצנע, כי שאדם עושה דבר בהתגלות, בקל יכול לבוא לידי פניה וגדלות בעבודתו, אבל בהצנע אינו יכול לבוא לידי פניה כי אין אדם רואהו. אבל הבעל תשובה שעשה עברה בפרהסיא כמו לשון הרע או שאר עברות בהכרח תשובתו גם כן בפרהסיא כי כבולעו כך פולטו, כלומר כבליעת האיסור שנבלע בו כן צריך לפלוט. אם עבר בסתר יעשה תשובה בסתר, ואם בגלוי ובפרהסיא צריך לעשות תשובתו גם כן להיות בנגלה ופרהסיא. אבל איך יעשה תשובה בפרהסיא פן יבוא לו איזה פניה בתשובתו, חס ושלום, ויפסיד הכל, חלילה?
Rebbe Elimelech of Lizhensk, Parshat Metzora
There is a great principle: "Walk modestly with God" (Micah 6:8) - that all of a man's ways must be modest. When a person does things in a public manner, it is easier to feel proud and have ulterior motives when serving God. However when he does things modestly, in private, he will not have ulterior motives since no one saw him. However, the repentant, on the other hand, who has transgressed in public with sins like slander, must necessarily repent in public as well, since there is a law that...in the same manner that a forbidden thing is absorbed or ingested, it is expelled. If a sin was committed in private, in a hidden manner, the repentance is also done in a private hidden way. If it was done publicly, then the repentance must also be done openly and publicly. However, this raises a problem: How can someone do teshuvah in public? Wont' he have ulterior motives, Heaven forbid, and then he will lose everything?
כֵּיוָן שֶׁרָאָה אוֹתָהּ נְעִימָה וּמַעֲשֶׂיהָ נָאִים, הִתְחִיל שׁוֹאֵל עָלֶיהָ, כָּל הַנָּשִׁים שׁוֹחֲחוֹת וּמְלַקְּטוֹת וְזוֹ יוֹשֶׁבֶת וּמְלַקֶּטֶת. כָּל הַנָּשִׁים מְסַלְּקוֹת כְּלֵיהֶם, וְזוֹ מְשַׁלְשֶׁלֶת כֵּלֶיהָ. כָּל הַנָּשִׁים מְשַׂחֲקוֹת עִם הַקּוֹצְרִים, וְזוֹ מַצְנַעַת עַצְמָהּ...
Since he [Boaz] saw that she was pleasant and her deeds were beautiful, he began to inquire about her. All the women bend and gather [barley], but this one sits and gathers. All the women lift up their clothes [to ease gathering], but this one lowers her clothes. All the women flirt with the harvesters, but this one keeps herself modest…
בשכר צניעות שהיתה בה ברחל – זכתה ויצא ממנה שאול, ובשכר צניעות שהיה בו בשאול – זכה ויצאת ממנו אסתר. ומאי צניעות היתה בה ברחל… מתוך סימנין שמסרה רחל ללאה לא הוה ידע עד השתא. לפיכך זכתה ויצא ממנה שאול. ומה צניעות היתה בשאול – דכתיב ואת דבר המלוכה לא הגיד לו אשר אמר שמואל
In the merit of Rachel’s tzeniut, she merited that Sha’ul came from her [family line], and in the merit of Sha’ul’s tzeniut, he merited that Esther came from his [family line]. What tzeniut did Rachel have? …Because of the signs that Rachel transmitted to Leah, he [Ya’akov] did not know [that it was Leah] until now [morning]. Therefore, she merited that Shaul came from her [family line]. What tzeniut did Sha’ul have? As it is written, “And he did not tell him the matter of the kingship that Shemuel had said.”
Arrogance comes and disgrace will come, but with the modest (tzenu’im) is wisdom.
Rabbi Aviva Richman at https://hadar.org/torah-resource/unlikely-origins-prayer
In the text of the Torah where Sarai has no voice—and on the backdrop of pre-Rabbinic texts that give Avram a voice but not Sarai—it is remarkable to see our Sages draw out Sarai’s voice in this narrative. In the midst of a situation where she is objectified for her beauty, and deprived of any agency, Sarai’s voice emerges loud and strong, uttering the first words of prayer. The textual catalyst for the midrash is the phrase “ על דבר שרי / al devar Sarai ” (Genesis 12:17). At face value, this means “about the matter of Sarai,” where she is the object of discussion, but the midrash takes it instead as “due to the word of Sarai,” where she becomes a subject who speaks, finding her voice in this context of total degradation.
This is where prayer comes from. Not from a figure who is in direct relationship and regular conversation with God, but from someone who has no reason to believe God will do anything for her. In Avivah Zornberg’s words, hers is a faith of “grim realism.” God has never spoken to her and never indicated an interest in her own future. Nonetheless she decides to articulate the fragility of her position, and the untenable nature of her reality, directly to God.