Lord remember my sins
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Share(לד) וְעַתָּ֞ה לֵ֣ךְ ׀ נְחֵ֣ה אֶת־הָעָ֗ם אֶ֤ל אֲשֶׁר־דִּבַּ֙רְתִּי֙ לָ֔ךְ הִנֵּ֥ה מַלְאָכִ֖י יֵלֵ֣ךְ לְפָנֶ֑יךָ וּבְי֣וֹם פׇּקְדִ֔י וּפָקַדְתִּ֥י עֲלֵהֶ֖ם חַטָּאתָֽם׃
(34) Go now, lead the people where I told you. See, My messenger shall go before you. But when I make an accounting, I will bring them to account for their sins.”
(ג) וביום פקדי וגו'. עַתָּה שָׁמַעְתִּי אֵלֶיךָ מִלְּכַלּוֹתָם יַחַד, וְתָמִיד תָּמִיד כְּשֶׁאֶפְקֹד עֲלֵיהֶם עֲוֹנוֹתֵיהֶם וּפָקַדְתִּי עֲלֵיהֶם מְעַט מִן הֶעָוֹן הַזֶּה עִם שְׁאָר הָעֲוֹנוֹת; וְאֵין פֻּרְעָנוּת בָּאָה עַל יִשְׂרָאֵל שֶׁאֵין בָּהּ קְצָת מִפִּרְעוֹן עֲוֹן הָעֵגֶל (סנהדרין ק"ב):
(3) וביום פקדי וגו׳ AND IN THE DAY WHEN I VISIT [I WILL VISIT THEIR SIN UPON THEM] — At present I listen to you and will refrain from consuming them all at once — but ever and ever throughout the ages, when I am visiting them for their sins I shall visit them at the same time for a little of this sin in addition to their other sins for which I am then punishing them. Indeed no punishment ever comes upon Israel in which there is not part payment for the sin of the golden calf (cf. Sanhedrin 102a).
״הֲתִשְׁכַּח אִשָּׁה עוּלָהּ״, אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא: כְּלוּם אֶשְׁכַּח עוֹלוֹת אֵילִים וּפִטְרֵי רְחָמִים שֶׁהִקְרַבְתְּ לְפָנַי בַּמִּדְבָּר?! אָמְרָה לְפָנָיו: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, הוֹאִיל וְאֵין שִׁכְחָה לִפְנֵי כִּסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ, שֶׁמָּא לֹא תִּשְׁכַּח לִי מַעֲשֵׂה הָעֵגֶל? אָמַר לָהּ: ״גַּם אֵלֶּה תִשְׁכַּחְנָה״. אָמְרָה לְפָנָיו: רִבּוֹנוֹ שֶׁל עוֹלָם, הוֹאִיל וְיֵשׁ שִׁכְחָה לִפְנֵי כִּסֵּא כְבוֹדֶךָ, שֶׁמָּא תִּשְׁכַּח לִי מַעֲשֵׂה סִינַי? אָמַר לָהּ: ״וְאָנֹכִי לֹא אֶשְׁכָּחֵךְ״. וְהַיְינוּ דְּאָמַר רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר אָמַר רַב אוֹשַׁעְיָא: מַאי דִּכְתִיב ״גַּם אֵלֶּה תִשְׁכַּחְנָה״ — זֶה מַעֲשֵׂה הָעֵגֶל, ״וְאָנֹכִי לֹא אֶשְׁכָּחֵךְ״ — זֶה מַעֲשֵׂה סִינַי.
The verse goes on to say: “Can a woman forget her suckling baby, that she would not have compassion for the child of her womb? These may forget, but you I will not forget.” The meaning of this verse is that the Holy One, Blessed be He, said to the community of Israel: Have I forgotten the ram offerings and firstborn animals that you offered before Me in the desert? The community of Israel replied to Him: Master of the Universe, since there is no forgetfulness before the Throne of Your Glory, perhaps you will not forget my sin of the Golden Calf? God responded to Israel: “These [eleh] too shall be forgotten.” “These” is a reference to the sin of the Golden Calf, regarding which Israel said: “These [eleh] are your gods.” The community of Israel said before Him: Master of the Universe, since there is forgetfulness before the Throne of Your Glory, perhaps You will also forget the events revolving around the revelation at Sinai? God said to Israel: I [anokhi] will not forget you the revelation at Sinai, which began with: “I [anokhi] am the Lord your God.” The Gemara notes: That is what Rabbi Elazar said that Rav Oshaya said: What is the meaning of that which is written: “These too will be forgotten”? That is the sin of the Golden Calf. And what is the meaning of I will not forget you? Those are the events that transpired at Sinai.