Vayetzei: How to Make a Shidduch "Well," Part 2
(טו) וַיִּשְׁמַ֤ע פַּרְעֹה֙ אֶת־הַדָּבָ֣ר הַזֶּ֔ה וַיְבַקֵּ֖שׁ לַהֲרֹ֣ג אֶת־מֹשֶׁ֑ה וַיִּבְרַ֤ח מֹשֶׁה֙ מִפְּנֵ֣י פַרְעֹ֔ה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב בְּאֶֽרֶץ־מִדְיָ֖ן וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב עַֽל־הַבְּאֵֽר׃

(15) When Pharaoh learned of the matter, he sought to kill Moses; but Moses fled from Pharaoh. He arrived*arrived Lit. “sat” or “settled.” in the land of Midian, and sat down beside a well.

(לב) וַיֵּשֶׁב בְּאֶרֶץ מִדְיָן וַיֵּשֶׁב עַל הַבְּאֵר, קָלַט דֶּרֶךְ אָבוֹת, שְׁלשָׁה נִזְדַּוְּגוּ לָהֶם זִוּוּגֵיהֶם מִן הַבְּאֵר, יִצְחָק יַעֲקֹב וּמשֶׁה. בְּיִצְחָק כְּתִיב (בראשית כד, סב): וְיִצְחָק בָּא מִבּוֹא בְּאֵר וגו'. וְעוֹד שֶׁנִּזְדַּוְגָה רִבְקָה לֶאֱלִיעֶזֶר לַמַּעְיָן. יַעֲקֹב (בראשית כט, ב): וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה בְאֵר בַּשָֹּׂדֶה.

(32) “He settled in the land of Midyan, and sat alongside the well.” He learned the way of the patriarchs. Three were paired with their mates at the well; Isaac, Jacob, and Moses. Regarding Isaac, it is written: “Isaac came from going to Be’er [laḥai ro’i]” (Genesis 24:62). Moreover, Rebecca met Eliezer near the spring. Jacob, “he saw, and behold, there was a well in the field” (Genesis 29:2).

In Robert Alter's, The Art of the Biblical Narrative" (68), he describes the 3 betrothal-types scenes in 6 steps.
1. Journey: Someone journey to a foreign country.
2. Woman at the well: The man encounters a woman at the well
3. Draws water: a woman or a man draws water
4. News: The woman runs home to bring news of the visitor
5. Hospitality: The visitor stays with the woman's family and there is mention of a meal
6. Joining: The two parties are joined as one
(א) וַיִּקְרָ֥א יִצְחָ֛ק אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֖ב וַיְבָ֣רֶךְ אֹת֑וֹ וַיְצַוֵּ֙הוּ֙ וַיֹּ֣אמֶר ל֔וֹ לֹֽא־תִקַּ֥ח אִשָּׁ֖ה מִבְּנ֥וֹת כְּנָֽעַן׃ (ב) ק֥וּם לֵךְ֙ פַּדֶּ֣נָֽה אֲרָ֔ם בֵּ֥יתָה בְתוּאֵ֖ל אֲבִ֣י אִמֶּ֑ךָ וְקַח־לְךָ֤ מִשָּׁם֙ אִשָּׁ֔ה מִבְּנ֥וֹת לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֥י אִמֶּֽךָ׃ (ג) וְאֵ֤ל שַׁדַּי֙ יְבָרֵ֣ךְ אֹֽתְךָ֔ וְיַפְרְךָ֖ וְיַרְבֶּ֑ךָ וְהָיִ֖יתָ לִקְהַ֥ל עַמִּֽים׃

The Journey begins

(1) So Isaac sent for Jacob and blessed him. He instructed him, saying, “You shall not take a wife from among the Canaanite women. (2) Up, go to Paddan-aram, to the house of Bethuel, your mother’s father, and take a wife there from among the daughters of Laban, your mother’s brother. (3) May El Shaddai*El Shaddai See note at 17.1. bless you, make you fertile and numerous, so that you become an assembly of peoples.

(א) וַיִּשָּׂ֥א יַעֲקֹ֖ב רַגְלָ֑יו וַיֵּ֖לֶךְ אַ֥רְצָה בְנֵי־קֶֽדֶם׃ (ב) וַיַּ֞רְא וְהִנֵּ֧ה בְאֵ֣ר בַּשָּׂדֶ֗ה וְהִנֵּה־שָׁ֞ם שְׁלֹשָׁ֤ה עֶדְרֵי־צֹאן֙ רֹבְצִ֣ים עָלֶ֔יהָ כִּ֚י מִן־הַבְּאֵ֣ר הַהִ֔וא יַשְׁק֖וּ הָעֲדָרִ֑ים וְהָאֶ֥בֶן גְּדֹלָ֖ה עַל־פִּ֥י הַבְּאֵֽר׃ (ג) וְנֶאֶסְפוּ־שָׁ֣מָּה כׇל־הָעֲדָרִ֗ים וְגָלְל֤וּ אֶת־הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ מֵעַל֙ פִּ֣י הַבְּאֵ֔ר וְהִשְׁק֖וּ אֶת־הַצֹּ֑אן וְהֵשִׁ֧יבוּ אֶת־הָאֶ֛בֶן עַל־פִּ֥י הַבְּאֵ֖ר לִמְקֹמָֽהּ׃

The Journey continues

(1) Jacob resumed his journey*resumed his journey Lit. “lifted up his feet.” and came to the land of the Easterners. (2) There before his eyes was a well in the open. Three flocks of sheep were lying there beside it, for the flocks were watered from that well. The stone on the mouth of the well was large. (3) When all the flocks were gathered there, the stone would be rolled from the mouth of the well and the sheep watered; then the stone would be put back in its place on the mouth of the well.

(א) ונאספו. רְגִילִים הָיוּ לְהֵאָסֵף, לְפִי שֶׁהָיְתָה הָאֶבֶן גְּדוֹלָה:

(1) ונאספו [AND THITHER WERE ALL THE DROVES] GATHERED — they regularly gathered there because the stone was a heavy one

(א) וגללו. הרועים את האבן:

(1) AND THEY ROLLED THE STONE. The shepherds rolled the stone.

(ד) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָהֶם֙ יַעֲקֹ֔ב אַחַ֖י מֵאַ֣יִן אַתֶּ֑ם וַיֹּ֣אמְר֔וּ מֵחָרָ֖ן אֲנָֽחְנוּ׃ (ה) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָהֶ֔ם הַיְדַעְתֶּ֖ם אֶת־לָבָ֣ן בֶּן־נָח֑וֹר וַיֹּאמְר֖וּ יָדָֽעְנוּ׃ (ו) וַיֹּ֥אמֶר לָהֶ֖ם הֲשָׁל֣וֹם ל֑וֹ וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ שָׁל֔וֹם וְהִנֵּה֙ רָחֵ֣ל בִּתּ֔וֹ בָּאָ֖ה עִם־הַצֹּֽאן׃ (ז) וַיֹּ֗אמֶר הֵ֥ן עוֹד֙ הַיּ֣וֹם גָּד֔וֹל לֹא־עֵ֖ת הֵאָסֵ֣ף הַמִּקְנֶ֑ה הַשְׁק֥וּ הַצֹּ֖אן וּלְכ֥וּ רְעֽוּ׃ (ח) וַיֹּאמְרוּ֮ לֹ֣א נוּכַל֒ עַ֣ד אֲשֶׁ֤ר יֵאָֽסְפוּ֙ כׇּל־הָ֣עֲדָרִ֔ים וְגָֽלְלוּ֙ אֶת־הָאֶ֔בֶן מֵעַ֖ל פִּ֣י הַבְּאֵ֑ר וְהִשְׁקִ֖ינוּ הַצֹּֽאן׃

(4) Jacob said to them, “My friends, where are you from?” And they said, “We are from Haran.” (5) He said to them, “Do you know Laban the son of Nahor?” And they said, “Yes, we do.” (6) He continued, “Is he well?” They answered, “Yes, he is; and there is his daughter Rachel, coming with the flock.” (7) He said, “It is still broad daylight, too early to round up the animals; water the flock and take them to pasture.” (8) But they said, “We cannot, until all the flocks are rounded up; then the stone is rolled off the mouth of the well and we water the sheep.”

(א) הן עוד היום גדול. לְפִי שֶׁרָאָה אוֹתָם רוֹבְצִים, כַּסָּבוּר שֶׁרוֹצִים לֶאֱסֹף הַמִּקְנֶה הַבַּיְתָה וְלֹא יִרְעוּ עוֹד, אָמַר לָהֶן הֵן עוֹד הַיּוֹם גָּדוֹל, כְּלוֹמַר אִם שְׂכִירִים אַתֶּם לֹא שִׁלַּמְתֶּם פְּעֻלַּת הַיּוֹם, וְאִם הַבְּהֵמוֹת שֶׁלָּכֶם אַעַ"פִּ כֵן לֹא עֵת הֵאָסֵף הַמִּקְנֶה וְגו' (בראשית רבה):
(1) הן עוד היום גדול LO, IT IS YET HIGH DAY — Because he saw them lying down he thought that they wished to take the cattle home, and that they should not graze any longer. He, therefore, said to them, “Lo, it is yet high day” — meaning, if you are hired men you have not yet finished your day’s task, and if these are your own cattle, nevertheless — 'לא עת האסף המקנה וגו IT IS NOT YET TIME FOR THE CATTLET TO BE GATHERED TOGETHER TO TAKE THEM HOME (Genesis Rabbah 70:11).
(א) הן עוד היום גדול. הצדיק ימאס את העול ג"כ אל האחרים כאמרו תועבת צדיקים איש עול:
(1) The day is yet long. He thought they were shirking their duties. The righteous are disturbed by injustice even when they are not the victims.
(ט) עוֹדֶ֖נּוּ מְדַבֵּ֣ר עִמָּ֑ם וְרָחֵ֣ל ׀ בָּ֗אָה עִם־הַצֹּאן֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לְאָבִ֔יהָ כִּ֥י רֹעָ֖ה הִֽוא׃

Woman at the well

(9) While he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father’s flock—for she was its shepherd.

(י) וַיְהִ֡י כַּאֲשֶׁר֩ רָאָ֨ה יַעֲקֹ֜ב אֶת־רָחֵ֗ל בַּת־לָבָן֙ אֲחִ֣י אִמּ֔וֹ וְאֶת־צֹ֥אן לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֣י אִמּ֑וֹ וַיִּגַּ֣שׁ יַעֲקֹ֗ב וַיָּ֤גֶל אֶת־הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ מֵעַל֙ פִּ֣י הַבְּאֵ֔ר וַיַּ֕שְׁקְ אֶת־צֹ֥אן לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֥י אִמּֽוֹ׃ (יא) וַיִּשַּׁ֥ק יַעֲקֹ֖ב לְרָחֵ֑ל וַיִּשָּׂ֥א אֶת־קֹל֖וֹ וַיֵּֽבְךְּ׃

Draws water

(10) And when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of his uncle*uncle Lit. “mother’s brother.” Laban, and the flock of his uncle Laban, Jacob went up and rolled the stone off the mouth of the well, and watered the flock of his uncle Laban. (11) Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and broke into tears.

(א) ויגש יעקב ויגל. כְּמִי שֶׁמַּעֲבִיר אֶת הַפְּקָק מֵעַל פִּי צְלוֹחִית; לְהוֹדִיעֲךָ שֶׁכֹּחוֹ גָּדוֹל (בראשית רבה):
(1) ויגש יעקב ויגל JACOB STEPPED NEAR AND ROLLED [THE STONE]- as easily as one draws the stopper from the mouth of a bottle — thus showing you how strong he was. (Bereishit Rabbah 70:12)
Rabbi Yaakov Yosef of Polna'ah
Here, we see the energizing power of love. Because of his love for Rachel, Jacob is able to knit together his 248 limbs and 365 sinews and muster the strength to roll off the stone singlehandedly.
So, too, in the service of God. When a person prays and fulfills the commandments only out of habit, each act remains unconnected to the others and everything is done listlessly and despondently. But when we serve God with love, our love pulls together every "limb" and "sinew" of our service and infuses it with joy and vigor.
Sefath Emeth
Jacob saw how large and heavy the stone was. How could he have imagined that he could move it on his own? But such is the way of the righteous: they focus on what they must accomplish and apply themselves to that goal, giving no credence to the trivialities of the material world. And then, the falsehoods of the world melt away before them...
(Above comes from The Book of Genesis, complied by Rabbi Yanki Tauber, 2023, p 332).

(א) וישק יעקב לרחל. קטנה היתה שלא היתה עדיין ראויה ליבעל ועל כן מסר לבן הצאן בידה ולא מסרן ביד לאה הגדולה ממנה כי היתה ראויה לאיש ויושבת בבית. או נאמר שהנשיקה הזאת היתה נשיקת הראש או הכתף, כי לא אמר הכתוב בפי רחל.

(1) וישק יעקב לרחל, “Yaakov kissed Rachel, etc. The reason the Torah referred to Rachel as קטנה, “small,” is that she was still a minor and Yaakov could not consummate marriage vows with her. This was the reason Lavan was not worried to hand his flocks to her instead of to his already adult daughter Leah who was liable to be molested by the male shepherds on account of her age. We should also note that Yaakov did not kiss Rachel on the mouth but on the head or the shoulder, suggesting that there was no sexual element in that kiss (Ibn Ezra).

(ב) ויבך, זו היא בכיה של שמחה ומרוב אהבה המית הלב:

((2) ויבך, he wept for joy. When close relatives meet after not having seen each other for a while, their emotional cup runs over so that they find it hard to control their feelings and they give way to them by crying for joy.

(א) וישא את קולו ויבך. על שלא זכה לשאת אותה בנעוריו והיו לו לעת כזאת בני נעורים:
(1) And cried in a loud voice. He was pained that he did not merit marrying her in his youth so that by now he would have had grown up children.
(יב) וַיַּגֵּ֨ד יַעֲקֹ֜ב לְרָחֵ֗ל כִּ֣י אֲחִ֤י אָבִ֙יהָ֙ ה֔וּא וְכִ֥י בֶן־רִבְקָ֖ה ה֑וּא וַתָּ֖רׇץ וַתַּגֵּ֥ד לְאָבִֽיהָ׃ (יג) וַיְהִי֩ כִשְׁמֹ֨עַ לָבָ֜ן אֶת־שֵׁ֣מַע ׀ יַעֲקֹ֣ב בֶּן־אֲחֹת֗וֹ וַיָּ֤רׇץ לִקְרָאתוֹ֙ וַיְחַבֶּק־לוֹ֙ וַיְנַשֶּׁק־ל֔וֹ וַיְבִיאֵ֖הוּ אֶל־בֵּית֑וֹ וַיְסַפֵּ֣ר לְלָבָ֔ן אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵֽלֶּה׃

News

(12) Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s kinsman, that he was Rebekah’s son; and she ran and told her father. (13) On hearing the news of his sister’s son Jacob, Laban ran to greet him; he embraced him and kissed him, and took him into his house. He told Laban all that had happened,

(יד) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ לָבָ֔ן אַ֛ךְ עַצְמִ֥י וּבְשָׂרִ֖י אָ֑תָּה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב עִמּ֖וֹ חֹ֥דֶשׁ יָמִֽים׃

Hospitality

(14) and Laban said to him, “You are truly my bone and flesh.” When he had stayed with him a month’s time,

(א) אך עצמי ובשרי. מֵעַתָּה אֵין לִי לְאָסְפְּךָ הַבַּיְתָה, הוֹאִיל וְאֵין בְּיָדְךָ כְלוּם, אֶלָּא מִפְּנֵי קוּרְבָה אֲטַפֵּל בְּךָ חֹדֶש יָמִים, וְכֵן עָשָׂה, וְאַף זוֹ לֹא לְחִנָּם, שֶׁהָיָה רוֹעֶה צֹאנוֹ:
(1) אך עצמי ובשרי SURELY THOU ART MY BONE AND MY FLESH — Really, I have no reason to take you into my house, since you have brought nothing with you; but because of our relationship I will put up with you for “the space of a month”. Thus, indeed, he did, but even this was not for nothing, for he tended Laban’s sheep.
(טו) וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָבָן֙ לְיַעֲקֹ֔ב הֲכִי־אָחִ֣י אַ֔תָּה וַעֲבַדְתַּ֖נִי חִנָּ֑ם הַגִּ֥ידָה לִּ֖י מַה־מַּשְׂכֻּרְתֶּֽךָ׃ (טז) וּלְלָבָ֖ן שְׁתֵּ֣י בָנ֑וֹת שֵׁ֤ם הַגְּדֹלָה֙ לֵאָ֔ה וְשֵׁ֥ם הַקְּטַנָּ֖ה רָחֵֽל׃ (יז) וְעֵינֵ֥י לֵאָ֖ה רַכּ֑וֹת וְרָחֵל֙ הָֽיְתָ֔ה יְפַת־תֹּ֖אַר וִיפַ֥ת מַרְאֶֽה׃ (יח) וַיֶּאֱהַ֥ב יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־רָחֵ֑ל וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אֶֽעֱבׇדְךָ֙ שֶׁ֣בַע שָׁנִ֔ים בְּרָחֵ֥ל בִּתְּךָ֖ הַקְּטַנָּֽה׃ (יט) וַיֹּ֣אמֶר לָבָ֗ן ט֚וֹב תִּתִּ֣י אֹתָ֣הּ לָ֔ךְ מִתִּתִּ֥י אֹתָ֖הּ לְאִ֣ישׁ אַחֵ֑ר שְׁבָ֖ה עִמָּדִֽי׃ (כ) וַיַּעֲבֹ֧ד יַעֲקֹ֛ב בְּרָחֵ֖ל שֶׁ֣בַע שָׁנִ֑ים וַיִּהְי֤וּ בְעֵינָיו֙ כְּיָמִ֣ים אֲחָדִ֔ים בְּאַהֲבָת֖וֹ אֹתָֽהּ׃ (כא) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יַעֲקֹ֤ב אֶל־לָבָן֙ הָבָ֣ה אֶת־אִשְׁתִּ֔י כִּ֥י מָלְא֖וּ יָמָ֑י וְאָב֖וֹאָה אֵלֶֽיהָ׃ (כב) וַיֶּאֱסֹ֥ף לָבָ֛ן אֶת־כׇּל־אַנְשֵׁ֥י הַמָּק֖וֹם וַיַּ֥עַשׂ מִשְׁתֶּֽה׃

Joining

(15) Laban said to Jacob, “Just because you are a kinsman, should you serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?” (16) Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older one was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. (17) Leah had weak eyes; Rachel was shapely and beautiful. (18) Jacob loved Rachel; so he answered, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” (19) Laban said, “Better that I give her to you than that I should give her to an outsider. Stay with me.” (20) So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her. (21) Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife, for my time is fulfilled, that I may cohabit with her.” (22) And Laban gathered all the people of the place*people of the place Or “the locals” or “the local dignitaries,” whose presence clearly validated a marriage; Heb. ’anshe ha-maqom. See the Dictionary under ’ish. and made a feast.

Yitzchak"s betrothal scene (Eliezer as proxy)
1. A leisured journey
2. Arrives at the well with camels and jewels
3. Rivkah effortlessly waters the camels

Yaakov’s betrothal scene
1. a desperate escape from Esav.
2. arrives at the well empty-handed.
3. a large rock is an obstacle.

Moving the rock revealed no major obstacle for Yaakov; when he sees the beautiful Rachel, he approaches the well and rolls the stone off single-handedly.
This story is just one of a few episodes in Yaakov's life, revealing how he overcame struggle. Yaakov struggled:
1. in his mother's womb as well in birth, hence the meaning of his name, "holder of the heal;
2. for the blessing and the birthright;
3. his marriage to the woman of his choice requires tremendous effort;
4. his relationship with his children also involves contention and hardship.
In short, nothing comes easy to Yaakov, as is evident in his climactic struggle with the “man” who renames him Yisrael (Bereshit 32:29):
וַיֹּ֗אמֶר לֹ֤א יַעֲקֹב֙ יֵאָמֵ֥ר עוֹד֙ שִׁמְךָ֔ כִּ֖י אִם־יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל כִּֽי־שָׂרִ֧יתָ עִם־אֱלֹקִ֛ים וְעִם־אֲנָשִׁ֖ים וַתּוּכָֽל׃
And he said to him, “No longer shall your name be said to be Yaakov, but Yisrael, for you have struggled (sarita) with God and with men, and you have prevailed.”
see https://www.etzion.org.il/en/tanakh/ketuvim/megillat-ruth/well-scene-betrothal

(כח) וַתָּ֙רׇץ֙ הַֽנַּעֲרָ֔ וַתַּגֵּ֖ד לְבֵ֣ית אִמָּ֑הּ כַּדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵֽלֶּה׃ (כט) וּלְרִבְקָ֥ה אָ֖ח וּשְׁמ֣וֹ לָבָ֑ן וַיָּ֨רׇץ לָבָ֧ן אֶל־הָאִ֛ישׁ הַח֖וּצָה אֶל־הָעָֽיִן׃

(28) The maiden ran and told all this to her mother’s household. (29) Now Rebekah had a brother whose name was Laban. Laban ran out to the man at the spring—

(ו) וַיְמַהֵ֧ר אַבְרָהָ֛ם הָאֹ֖הֱלָה אֶל־שָׂרָ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר מַהֲרִ֞י שְׁלֹ֤שׁ סְאִים֙ קֶ֣מַח סֹ֔לֶת ל֖וּשִׁי וַעֲשִׂ֥י עֻגֽוֹת׃ (ז) וְאֶל־הַבָּקָ֖ר רָ֣ץ אַבְרָהָ֑ם וַיִּקַּ֨ח בֶּן־בָּקָ֜ר רַ֤ךְ וָטוֹב֙ וַיִּתֵּ֣ן אֶל־הַנַּ֔עַר וַיְמַהֵ֖ר לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת אֹתֽוֹ׃

(6) Abraham hastened into the tent to Sarah, and said, “Quick, three seahs of choice flour! Knead and make cakes!” (7) Then Abraham ran to the herd, took a calf, tender and choice, and gave it to a servant-boy, who hastened to prepare it.