Toward the Other: The phenomenology of repentance
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Share משנה. עֲבֵירוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַמָּקוֹם — יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפֵּר. עֲבֵירוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵירוֹ — אֵין יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפֵּר עַד שֶׁיְּרַצֶּה אֶת חֲבֵירוֹ.
For transgressions between a person and God, Yom Kippur atones; however, for transgressions between a person and another, Yom Kippur does not atone until he appeases the other person.
. רָמֵי לֵיהּ רַב יוֹסֵף בַּר חָבוּ לְרַבִּי אֲבָהוּ: עֲבֵירוֹת שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵירוֹ אֵין יוֹם הַכִּפּוּרִים מְכַפֵּר? וְהָא כְּתִיב: ״אִם יֶחֱטָא אִישׁ לְאִישׁ וּפִלְלוֹ אֱלֹהִים״! מַאן אֱלֹהִים — דַּיָּינָא. אִי הָכִי, אֵימָא סֵיפָא: ״וְאִם לַיהוה יֶחֱטָא אִישׁ מִי יִתְפַּלֶּל לוֹ״! הָכִי קָאָמַר: ״אִם יֶחֱטָא אִישׁ לְאִישׁ וּפִלְלוֹ אֱלֹהִים״ — יִמְחוֹל לוֹ. ״וְאִם לַיהוה יֶחֱטָא אִישׁ מִי יִתְפַּלֶּל בַּעֲדוֹ״
רַב הֲוָה לֵיהּ מִילְּתָא בַּהֲדֵי הָהוּא טַבָּחָא, לָא אֲתָא לְקַמֵּיהּ. בְּמַעֲלֵי יוֹמָא דְכִפּוּרֵי אֲמַר אִיהוּ: אֵיזִיל אֲנָא לְפַיּוֹסֵי לֵיהּ. פְּגַע בֵּיהּ רַב הוּנָא, אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לְהֵיכָא קָא אָזֵיל מָר, אֲמַר לֵיהּ: לְפַיּוֹסֵי לִפְלָנְיָא. אָמַר: אָזֵיל אַבָּא לְמִיקְטַל נַפְשָׁא. אֲזַל וְקָם עִילָּוֵיהּ. הֲוָה יָתֵיב וְקָא פָלֵי רֵישָׁא, דַּלִּי עֵינֵיהּ וְחַזְיֵיהּ, אֲמַר לֵיהּ: אַבָּא אַתְּ? זִיל, לֵית לִי מִילְּתָא בַּהֲדָךְ. בַּהֲדֵי דְּקָא פָלֵי רֵישָׁא, אִישְׁתְּמִיט גַּרְמָא וּמַחְיֵיהּ בְּקוֹעֵיהּ וְקַטְלֵיהּ.
רַב הֲוָה פָּסֵיק סִידְרָא קַמֵּיהּ דְּרַבִּי. עֲיַיל
Rav Yosef bar Ḥavu raised a contradiction before Rabbi Abbahu: The mishna states that Yom Kippur does not atone for sins committed against a fellow person, but isn’t it written: “If one man sin against another, God [Elohim] shall judge him [ufilelo]” (I Samuel 2:25). He answered him: Who is Elohim mentioned in the verse? It is referring to a judge [elohim] and not to God, and the word ufilelo in the verse indicates judgment. Rav Yosef bar Ḥavu said to him: If so, say the following with regard to the latter clause of the verse: “But if a man sin against the Lord, who shall entreat [yitpallel] for him?” (I Samuel 2:25). Rabbi Abbahu answered him: This is what the verse is saying: If one man sins against another, and appeases him, God [Elohim] shall forgive him; But if a man sin against the Lord, who shall entreat [yitpallel] for him? Repentance and good deeds.
Rav had a complaint against a certain butcher who insulted him. The butcher did not come before him to apologize. On Yom Kippur eve, Rav said: I will go and appease him. He met his student Rav Huna, who said to him: Where is my Master going? He said to him: I am going to appease so-and-so. Rav Huna called Rav by his name and said: Abba is going to kill a person. Rav went and stood by him. He found the butcher sitting and splitting the head of an animal. The butcher raised his eyes and saw him. He said to him: Are you Abba? Go, I have nothing to say to you. While he was splitting the head, one of the bones of the head flew out and struck him in the throat and killed him.
The Gemara further relates: Rav was reciting the Torah portion before Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi.
אֲתָא רַבִּי חִיָּיא — הֲדַר לְרֵישָׁא. עֲיַיל בַּר קַפָּרָא — הֲדַר לְרֵישָׁא. אֲתָא רַבִּי שִׁמְעוֹן בְּרַבִּי — הֲדַר לְרֵישָׁא. אֲתָא רַבִּי חֲנִינָא (בַּר) חָמָא, אָמַר: כּוּלֵּי הַאי נֶהְדַּר וְנֵיזִיל? לָא הֲדַר. אִיקְּפִיד רַבִּי חֲנִינָא, אֲזַל רַב לְגַבֵּיהּ תְּלֵיסַר מַעֲלֵי יוֹמֵי דְּכִפּוּרֵי וְלָא אִיפַּיַּיס. וְהֵיכִי עָבֵיד הָכִי? וְהָאָמַר רַבִּי יוֹסֵי בַּר חֲנִינָא: כׇּל הַמְבַקֵּשׁ מָטוּ מֵחֲבֵירוֹ אַל יְבַקֵּשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ יוֹתֵר מִשָּׁלֹשׁ פְּעָמִים! רַב שָׁאנֵי. וְרַבִּי חֲנִינָא, הֵיכִי עָבֵיד הָכִי? וְהָאָמַר רָבָא: כׇּל הַמַּעֲבִיר עַל מִדּוֹתָיו — מַעֲבִירִין לוֹ עַל כׇּל פְּשָׁעָיו! אֶלָּא: רַבִּי חֲנִינָא חֶלְמָא חָזֵי לֵיהּ לְרַב דְּזַקְפוּהוּ בְּדִיקְלָא, וּגְמִירִי דְּכֹל דְּזַקְפוּהוּ בְּדִיקְלָא — רֵישָׁא הָוֵי. אָמַר: שְׁמַע מִינַּהּ בָּעֵי לְמֶעְבַּד רְשׁוּתָא וְלָא אִיפַּיַּיס, כִּי הֵיכִי דְּלֵיזִיל וְלִגְמַר אוֹרָיְיתָא בְּבָבֶל.
Rabbi Ḥiyya, Rav’s uncle and teacher, came in, whereupon Rav returned to the beginning of the portion and began to read it again. Afterward, bar Kappara came in, and Rav returned to the beginning of the portion out of respect for bar Kappara. Then Rabbi Shimon, son of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, came in, and he returned again to the beginning of the portion. Then, Rabbi Ḥanina bar Ḥama came in, and Rav said to himself: Shall I go back and read so many times? He did not return but continued from where he was. Rabbi Ḥanina was offended. Rav went before Rabbi Ḥanina on Yom Kippur eve every year for thirteen years to appease him, but he would not be appeased. The Gemara asks: How could Rav act this way? Didn’t Rabbi Yosei bar Ḥanina say: Anyone who requests forgiveness from another should not ask more than three times? The Gemara answers: Rav is different. The Gemara asks: And how could Rabbi Ḥanina act this way? Didn’t Rava say: With regard to anyone who suppresses his honor and forgives someone for hurting him, God pardons all his sins? The Gemara explains: Rather, this is what happened: Rabbi Ḥanina saw in a dream that Rav was being hung on a palm tree, and he learned as a tradition that anyone about whom there is a dream in which he was being hung on a palm tree will become the head of a yeshiva. He said: Learn from this that providence has decreed that he must eventually become the head of the yeshiva. Therefore, I will not be appeased, so that he will have to go and study Torah in Babylonia.