Vayishlach 5786 - Can we heal, rather than perpetuate, divisions?

An invitation to explore the possibility of healing, rather than perpetuating, division and conflict

I am writing this commentary early in the morning on 3 December 2025 | 13 Kislev 5786. At this time, at this moment in history, there is an often unbearable discourse of enmity, hatred, disrespect, othering.

To name just one of all too many examples: just yesterday, the President of the USA referred to citizens of another country, in Africa, as "garbage"; and similarly referred to a US citizen, an immigrant from that country, who is serving in the US House of Representatives, and is a Muslim woman, as "garbage".

https://www.npr.org/2025/12/02/nx-s1-5629305/trump-says-he-doesnt-want-somalis-in-the-u-s-urges-them-to-go-back-to-their-homeland-and-fix-it

At this darkening time of year, it feels more urgent than ever to find ways to bring light into the world, rather than to cultivate darkness and enmity.

As I study Parashat Vayishlach this week, these matters are very much in the forefront of my thoughts. This parsha, although it contains very beautiful and soul-inspiring narratives - in particular, Jacob's wrestling with the "ish" / angel / man / God, and Jacob and Esau's reunion - also includes shocking violence and enmity, in particular the entirety of Chapter 34, the grisly narrative of the rape and abduction of Dinah and Jacob's sons' fierce vengeance in the form of cruel and violent collective punishment.

Yes, there are beautiful lessons in this parsha about affiliation and (re)connecting; please see my commentary from last year on Parashat Vayishlach,
Esau's kiss: an affiliative and healing act: Righteousness and peace have kissed
Vayishlach 5785 Esau's kiss: an affiliative and healing act: "Righteousness and peace have kissed" | Sefaria

This week's Haftarah - the entirety of the very brief Book of Obadiah - does not move us forward in any way toward reconciliation with "the other": Obadiah is an intense screed of hatred pervaded by prompts of violence towards "Edom" - the hated other - the descendants of Esau.

For example:

עובדיה א׳:א׳-ב׳

(א) חֲז֖וֹן עֹֽבַדְיָ֑ה כֹּֽה־אָמַר֩ אדני יהוה לֶאֱד֗וֹם שְׁמוּעָ֨ה שָׁמַ֜עְנוּ מֵאֵ֤ת יהוה וְצִיר֙ בַּגּוֹיִ֣ם שֻׁלָּ֔ח ק֛וּמוּ וְנָק֥וּמָה עָלֶ֖יהָ לַמִּלְחָמָֽה׃ (ב) הִנֵּ֥ה קָטֹ֛ן נְתַתִּ֖יךָ בַּגּוֹיִ֑ם בָּז֥וּי אַתָּ֖ה מְאֹֽד׃

Obadiah 1:1-2

(1) The prophecy of Obadiah.
We have received tidings from GOD,
And an envoy has been sent out among the nations:“Up! Let us rise up against her for battle.”Thus said the Sovereign GOD concerning Edom: (2)I will make you least among nations,You shall be most despised.

עובדיה א׳:י״ח-כ״א

(יח) וְהָיָה֩ בֵית־יַעֲקֹ֨ב אֵ֜שׁ וּבֵ֧ית יוֹסֵ֣ף לֶהָבָ֗ה וּבֵ֤ית עֵשָׂו֙ לְקַ֔שׁ וְדָלְק֥וּ בָהֶ֖ם וַאֲכָל֑וּם וְלֹֽא־יִֽהְיֶ֤ה שָׂרִיד֙ לְבֵ֣ית עֵשָׂ֔ו כִּ֥י יהוה דִּבֵּֽר׃ (יט) וְיָרְשׁ֨וּ הַנֶּ֜גֶב אֶת־הַ֣ר עֵשָׂ֗ו וְהַשְּׁפֵלָה֙ אֶת־פְּלִשְׁתִּ֔ים וְיָרְשׁוּ֙ אֶת־שְׂדֵ֣ה אֶפְרַ֔יִם וְאֵ֖ת שְׂדֵ֣ה שֹׁמְר֑וֹן וּבִנְיָמִ֖ן אֶת־הַגִּלְעָֽד׃ (כ) וְגָלֻ֣ת הַֽחֵל־הַ֠זֶּ֠ה לִבְנֵ֨י יִשְׂרָאֵ֤ל אֲשֶֽׁר־כְּנַעֲנִים֙ עַד־צָ֣רְפַ֔ת וְגָלֻ֥ת יְרוּשָׁלַ֖͏ִם אֲשֶׁ֣ר בִּסְפָרַ֑ד יִֽרְשׁ֕וּ אֵ֖ת עָרֵ֥י הַנֶּֽגֶב׃ (כא) וְעָל֤וּ מֽוֹשִׁעִים֙ בְּהַ֣ר צִיּ֔וֹן לִשְׁפֹּ֖ט אֶת־הַ֣ר עֵשָׂ֑ו וְהָיְתָ֥ה לַֽיהוה הַמְּלוּכָֽה׃

Obadiah 1:18-21

(18)The House of Jacob shall be fire,And the House of Joseph flame,And the House of Esau shall be straw;They shall burn it and devour it,And no survivor shall be left of the House of Esau—for GOD has spoken. (19) Thus they shall possess the Negeb and Mount Esau as well, the Shephelah and Philistia. They shall possess the Ephraimite country and the district of Samaria, and Benjamin along with Gilead. (20) And that exiled force of Israelites [shall possess] what belongs to the Phoenicians as far as Zarephath, while the Jerusalemite exile community of Sepharad shall possess the towns of the Negeb. (21) For liberators shall march up on Mount Zion to wreak judgment on Mount Esau; and dominion shall be GOD’s.

Michael Fishbane in his monumental JPS Commentary on the Haftarah, comments about Obadiah:

"...the renewal of the ancient rivalry between Esau/Edom and Jacob/Isreal will again result in the loss of the elder brother's patrimony. The concluding promise that 'dominion shall be the Lord's' gives Obadiah's prophecy of possession and liberation an unexpected, eschatological character." (p. 55)

From today's perspective, can we allow ourselves to bring a critical eye to Obadiah? Can we ask probing questions that might lead us to bridges and reconciliation rather than passively accepting tendencies that cultivate and maintain alienation and destruction?

Again, from Fishbane's commentary on Obadiah:
"...Edom had become a standard epithet for the hatred of the Roman Empire. Indeed, it had already been inserted into Daniel II as the fourth and final empire of evil. As a result, the prophecy of Obadiah fostered hopes for an ed to this brutal hegemony and a restoration of national religious service. In due course, with the assumption by Christendom of the mantle and might of Rome, the old epithet received a new referent." (p. 61)

With this in mind, a question, the answer to which might move us toward, rather than away from, affiliation and reconciliation: are any of Esau's descendants descended from Ishmael?

Interestingly - and concerningly - AI doesn't know the answer to this question!

here's what AI "said" to me when I typed in this statement:

me: "are Esau's descendants Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah descended from Ishmael"
AI: "No, Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah are not descendants of Ishmael, but rather the sons of Esau's son Reuel. According to Genesis, Esau's wife was Basemath, the daughter of Ishmael, making Reuel Esau's grandson and Basemath his wife. The Bible clearly distinguishes between the descendants of Esau and those of Ishmael. "

בראשית ל״ו:א׳-ג׳

(א) וְאֵ֛לֶּה תֹּלְד֥וֹת עֵשָׂ֖ו ה֥וּא אֱדֽוֹם׃ (ב) עֵשָׂ֛ו לָקַ֥ח אֶת־נָשָׁ֖יו מִבְּנ֣וֹת כְּנָ֑עַן אֶת־עָדָ֗ה בַּת־אֵילוֹן֙ הַֽחִתִּ֔י וְאֶת־אׇהֳלִֽיבָמָה֙ בַּת־עֲנָ֔ה בַּת־צִבְע֖וֹן הַֽחִוִּֽי׃ (ג) וְאֶת־בָּשְׂמַ֥ת בַּת־יִשְׁמָעֵ֖אל אֲח֥וֹת נְבָיֽוֹת׃

Genesis 36:1-3

(1) This is the line of Esau—that is, Edom. (2) Esau took his wives from among the Canaanite women—Adah daughter of Elon the Hittite, and Oholibamah daughter of Anah daughter of Zibeon the Hivite — (3) and also Basemath daughter of Ishmael and sister of Nebaioth.

Esau's marriage to this daughter of Ishmael first appears in last week's Torah portion, Parashat Vayetzei:

בראשית כ״ח:ט׳

(ט) וַיֵּ֥לֶךְ עֵשָׂ֖ו אֶל־יִשְׁמָעֵ֑אל וַיִּקַּ֡ח אֶֽת־מָחֲלַ֣ת ׀ בַּת־יִשְׁמָעֵ֨אל בֶּן־אַבְרָהָ֜ם אֲח֧וֹת נְבָי֛וֹת עַל־נָשָׁ֖יו ל֥וֹ לְאִשָּֽׁה׃ {ס}

Genesis 28:9

(9) So Esau went to Ishmael and took to wife, in addition to the wives he had, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, sister of Nebaioth.

Here, her name is given as Machalath; in this week's parsha, as we are about to see, her name is given as Basemath.

In the Jerusalem Talmud (Bikkurim 3:3:16-17) there is a mention that Mahalath's name has to do with pardon - √מחל.

Could this be a foreshadowing of the possibility of reconciliation and interpersonal pardons?

בראשית ל״ו:ט׳-י׳

(ט) וְאֵ֛לֶּה תֹּלְד֥וֹת עֵשָׂ֖ו אֲבִ֣י אֱד֑וֹם בְּהַ֖ר שֵׂעִֽיר׃ (י) אֵ֖לֶּה שְׁמ֣וֹת בְּנֵֽי־עֵשָׂ֑ו אֱלִיפַ֗ז בֶּן־עָדָה֙ אֵ֣שֶׁת עֵשָׂ֔ו רְעוּאֵ֕ל בֶּן־בָּשְׂמַ֖ת אֵ֥שֶׁת עֵשָֽׂו׃

Genesis 36:9-10

(9) This, then, is the line of Esau, the ancestor of the Edomites, in the hill country of Seir. (10) These are the names of Esau’s sons: Eliphaz, the son of Esau’s wife Adah; Reuel, the son of Esau’s wife Basemath (ie - Reuel, Esau's son, is Ishmael's grandson.

בראשית ל״ו:י״ג

(יג) וְאֵ֙לֶּה֙ בְּנֵ֣י רְעוּאֵ֔ל נַ֥חַת וָזֶ֖רַח שַׁמָּ֣ה וּמִזָּ֑ה אֵ֣לֶּה הָי֔וּ בְּנֵ֥י בָשְׂמַ֖ת אֵ֥שֶׁת עֵשָֽׂו׃

Genesis 36:13

(13) And these were the sons of Reuel [ie - Ishmael's great-gradnson's]: Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah. Those were the descendants of Esau’s wife Basemath.

My intention in this brief commentary has been to encourage readers to examine their own tendency to perpetuate differences and alienation, rather than to cultivate connection and reconciliation. It is very human to think in polarized terms. All of us do this.

It is a great accomplishment of the human mind and spirit to strive to reach across polarizations to unity and connection.

תהילים פ״ה:י״א

(יא) חֶסֶד־וֶאֱמֶ֥ת נִפְגָּ֑שׁוּ צֶ֖דֶק וְשָׁל֣וֹם נָשָֽׁקוּ׃

Psalms 85:11

Faithfulness and truth have met; righteousness and peace have kissed. (my translation)

Rabbi Anita Josefa Barzman MD Founder, micro-mishkan.net

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