Save
Copy
Add to Collection
Export to Google Docs
Share“Part of every misery is misery’s shadow…the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer.” – C.S. Lewis
(1) It is a religious obligation to visit the sick. Relatives and close friends may visit immediately and others after three days. But if he (the sick) is gravely ill, all may visit immediately.
(2) A person of high status should visit even a person of modest status, even several times a day, and [one should also visit] one's peer. Anyone who exceeds this standard is worthy of praise, but one should take care not to burden the patient. There are those who maintain that even an enemy should visit the sick individual (Maharal 197). This does not seem correct to me, rather one should not visit a patient or comfort a mourner who is one's enemy lest the [suffering person] think that [the enemy] is rejoicing in his misfortune, which will only cause more suffering. And this is what seems correct to me.
(3) ...The visitor should not sit on the bed, nor on a chair nor on a bench but rather wrap himself (in tallit?) and sit before him because the Divine Presence rests above his head.
Isserles: Especially if the sick person is laying on the ground because the one sitting would be higher then him but if he is laying on a bed it is permitted to sit on a chair or bench....
(4) ...We do not visit a sick person during the first three hours of the day because the illness is less pronounced in the morning and one might be tempted not to pray for him; nor during the last three hours of the day because the illness is more severe then and one might despair of praying for mercy. (And anyone who visits the sick and doesn't pray for him has not fulfilled the mitzvah.) (Bet Yosef based on Ramban.)
I also felt grateful […] for the first time, I had relaxed. Work gave me a place to feel like myself, and the kindness of my colleagues showed me that not all aspects of my life were terrible.
I have long believed that people need to feel supported and understood at work. I now know that this is even more important after a tragedy. And sadly, it’s far less common than it should be.
My dire projections put me in good company. When we're suffering we tend to project it out indefinitely.
Sheryl Sandberg, Option B(excerpted, 19-21)
דין גרמא דעשיראה ביר אלא הא דלא הוו ליה כלל והא דהוו ליה ומתו.רבי חייא בר אבא חלש על לגביה.
ר' יוחנן א"ל חביבין עליך יסורין א"ל לא הן ולא שכרן א"ל הב לי ידך יהב ליה ידיה ואוקמיה.
ר' יוחנן חלש על לגביה ר' חנינא א"ל חביבין עליך יסורין א"ל לא הן ולא שכרן א"ל הב לי ידך יהב ליה ידיה ואוקמיהאמאי לוקים. ר' יוחנן לנפשיהאמרי אין חבוש מתיר עצמו מבית האסוריםרבי אליעזר חלש על לגביה.
רבי יוחנן חזא דהוה קא גני בבית אפל גלייה לדרעיה ונפל נהורא חזייה דהוה קא
בכי ר' אליעזר א"ל אמאי קא בכית אי משום תורה דלא אפשת שנינו אחד המרבה ואחד הממעיט ובלבד שיכוין לבו לשמים ואי משום מזוני לא כל אדם זוכה לשתי שלחנות ואי משום בני דין גרמא דעשיראה בירא"ל להאי שופרא דבלי בעפרא קא בכינא א"ל על דא ודאי קא בכית ובכו תרוייהואדהכי והכי א"ל חביבין עליך יסורין א"ל לא הן ולא שכרן א"ל הב לי ידך יהב ליה ידיה ואוקמיה.
The Gemara continues to address the issue of suffering and affliction: Rabbi Yoḥanan’s student, Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba, fell ill.
Rabbi Yoḥanan entered to visit him, and said to him: Is your suffering dear to you? Do you desire to be ill and afflicted? Rabbi Ḥiyyasaid to him: I welcome neither this suffering nor its reward, as one who welcomes this suffering with love is rewarded. Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Give me your hand. Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba gave him his hand, and Rabbi Yoḥanan stood him up and restored him to health.
Similarly, Rabbi Yoḥanan fell ill. Rabbi Ḥanina entered to visit him, and said to him: Is your suffering dear to you? Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: I welcome neither this suffering nor its reward. Rabbi Ḥanina said to him: Give me your hand. He gave him his hand, and Rabbi Ḥanina stood him up and restored him to health.
The Gemara asks: Why did Rabbi Yoḥanan wait for Rabbi Ḥanina to restore him to health? If he was able to heal his student, let Rabbi Yoḥanan stand himself up.
The Gemara answers, they say: A prisoner cannot generally free himself from prison, but depends on others to release him from his shackles.The Gemara relates that Rabbi Elazar, another of Rabbi Yoḥanan’s students, fell ill. Rabbi Yoḥanan entered to visit him, and saw that he was lying in a dark room. Rabbi Yoḥanan exposed his arm, and light radiated from his flesh, filling the house. He saw that Rabbi Elazar was crying, and said to him: Why are you crying? Thinking that his crying was over the suffering that he endured throughout his life, Rabbi Yoḥanan attempted to comfort him: If you are weeping because you did not study as much Torah as you would have liked, we learned: One who brings a substantial sacrifice and one who brings a meager sacrifice have equal merit, as long as he directs his heart toward Heaven. If you are weeping because you lack sustenance and are unable to earn a livelihood, as Rabbi Elazar was, indeed, quite poor, not every person merits to eat off of two tables, one of wealth and one of Torah, so you need not bemoan the fact that you are not wealthy.
Meanwhile, Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Is your suffering dear to you? Rabbi Elazar said to him: I welcome neither this suffering nor its reward. Upon hearing this, Rabbi Yoḥanan said to him: Give me your hand. Rabbi Elazar gave him his hand, and Rabbi Yoḥanan stood him up and restored him to health.
“Part of every misery is misery’s shadow…the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer.” – C.S. Lewis
