Korach 5786 - What Korach's daughter saw: A midrash

a girl's-eye view of power, envy, violence, unrest

you don’t know me… in fact, you’ve probably never even thought about me.
I’m not named in the story.

my father is named in the story… there’s even an entire Torah portion named after him. Korach.

and my brothers are named too; well, three out of the four of them are named: Assir, Elkanah, and Abiasaph. I had four brothers; one is not named - just like me.

it says in the Torah that my brothers all survived. and there are 11 psalms that say they’re "of" the sons of Korach; I think that means they wrote them. here's the first one, which I kind of like. so I guess my brothers turned out okay.

my mother, she isn’t named in the Torah either. just like me. she isn’t even mentioned in the Torah, actually. i’m not mentioned in the Torah either.

oh but my mother is mentioned in the Talmud. they call her my father’s wife; they say, “Korach’s wife”, but they don’t say her name. but I remember her. she was my mother.

she didn’t survive.

my mother, she taught me how to gather manna in the quiet desert for our family every morning. she taught me. she died with my father when the earth opened and swallowed them, buried them alive

במדבר ט״ז:ל״ב-ל״ג

(לב) וַתִּפְתַּ֤ח הָאָ֙רֶץ֙ אֶת־פִּ֔יהָ וַתִּבְלַ֥ע אֹתָ֖ם וְאֶת־בָּתֵּיהֶ֑ם וְאֵ֤ת כׇּל־הָאָדָם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לְקֹ֔רַח וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־הָרְכֽוּשׁ׃ (לג) וַיֵּ֨רְד֜וּ הֵ֣ם וְכׇל־אֲשֶׁ֥ר לָהֶ֛ם חַיִּ֖ים שְׁאֹ֑לָה וַתְּכַ֤ס עֲלֵיהֶם֙ הָאָ֔רֶץ וַיֹּאבְד֖וּ מִתּ֥וֹךְ הַקָּהָֽל׃

Numbers 16:32-33

(32) and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up with their households, all Korah’s people and all their possessions. (33) They went down alive into Sheol, with all that belonged to them; the earth closed over them and they vanished from the midst of the congregation.

the Talmud says that my mother made my father do it, that she challenged him to challenge Moses and Aaron. I’ve always wondered if that was true. I never ever heard her say anything like that to him.

but you know what they say: no one really knows what goes on between a couple behind closed doors, or in the privacy of their tent.

yes, my mother died along with my father and the 249 others who agreed with him, agreed that they should challenge the authority of Moses and Aaron.

that’s the way the story is, in the Torah.

I’d like to tell you my story too.

my story is a small and quiet story. perhaps you could find it in the spaces between the letters

or in the spaces between the lines

or maybe you could find my story in the quiet of the desert, the early morning in the desert, quiet and still

my story is a small and quiet story because I have no name

my story
is what I heard
how I listened
what I saw
what I smelled
what I felt
what I learned
what I heard God teaching me
about being holy and drawing near

my father challenged Moses because he was jealous of Moses. he said he was doing it because everyone is equal, and why should Moses and Aaron act like they were so important anyway?

but: my father was hiding his jealousy in his lofty-sounding words; and I’m not sure that he ever really felt like he was one of the people. I think that he thought he was more important than everyone else.

you know, when you think you’re more important than everyone, then you can’t really be a part of a group, can you? it's called a קָהָל - a kahal. it means to be together in a group.

תהילים כ״ב:כ״ג

(כג) אֲסַפְּרָ֣ה שִׁמְךָ֣ לְאֶחָ֑י בְּת֖וֹךְ קָהָ֣ל אֲהַלְלֶֽךָּ׃

Psalms 22:23

(23) Then will I proclaim Your name to my people, praise You in the congregation.

when you think you're more important than everyone else, you aren't really part of the group, not in a way like you’re there with everyone because you're all precious and sweet to God.

my father and his friends said to Moses and Aaron, this is what they said: (and I heard them because I had just come back from gathering manna outside of the camp, and I was on the other side of the tent of meeting, and no one noticed I was there, they never noticed when I was there, and so I could hear them)

במדבר ט״ז:א׳-ג׳

(א) וַיִּקַּ֣ח קֹ֔רַח בֶּן־יִצְהָ֥ר בֶּן־קְהָ֖ת בֶּן־לֵוִ֑י וְדָתָ֨ן וַאֲבִירָ֜ם בְּנֵ֧י אֱלִיאָ֛ב וְא֥וֹן בֶּן־פֶּ֖לֶת בְּנֵ֥י רְאוּבֵֽן׃ (ב) וַיָּקֻ֙מוּ֙ לִפְנֵ֣י מֹשֶׁ֔ה וַאֲנָשִׁ֥ים מִבְּנֵֽי־יִשְׂרָאֵ֖ל חֲמִשִּׁ֣ים וּמָאתָ֑יִם נְשִׂיאֵ֥י עֵדָ֛ה קְרִאֵ֥י מוֹעֵ֖ד אַנְשֵׁי־שֵֽׁם׃ (ג) וַיִּֽקָּהֲל֞וּ עַל־מֹשֶׁ֣ה וְעַֽל־אַהֲרֹ֗ן וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ אֲלֵהֶם֮ רַב־לָכֶם֒ כִּ֤י כׇל־הָֽעֵדָה֙ כֻּלָּ֣ם קְדֹשִׁ֔ים וּבְתוֹכָ֖ם יהוה וּמַדּ֥וּעַ תִּֽתְנַשְּׂא֖וּ עַל־קְהַ֥ל יהוה׃

Numbers 16:1-3

(1) Now Korah, son of Izhar son of Kohath son of Levi, betook himself, along with Dathan and Abiram sons of Eliab, and On son of Peleth—descendants of Reuben— (2) to rise up against Moses, together with certain other Israelites, two hundred and fifty of them: chieftains of the community, chosen in the assembly, men of repute. (3) They combined against Moses and Aaron and said to them, “You have gone too far! For all the community are holy, all of them, and GOD is in their midst. Why then do you raise yourselves above GOD’s congregation?”

can you hear how even with his words, you could tell that my father felt like he was better than everyone else? can you hear in his words that he didn't really feel like he was part of the community?

because he didn’t say, “all of the community, all of US, are holy, and God is in OUR midst”; no, he said, “all of THEM are holy and God is in THEIR midst”.
כִּ֤י כׇל־הָֽעֵדָה֙ כֻּלָּ֣ם קְדֹשִׁ֔ים וּבְתוֹכָ֖ם יהוה

that’s the mistake my father always always made. he always thought he was better than everyone, and above everyone. and because of that, he never really felt like he was a part of the community.

he didn’t understand that God is in our midst because we are a “WE”, and we welcome God, and we want to be close to God.

after all, it took everyone helping to build the mishkan.

and can you imagine, my father actually said to Moses and Aaron that they had gone too far? or done too much?

you know what they say… what bothers us most about other people is really something that - deep down - we don’t like in ourselves. or something that’s like a riddle in us that we need to solve.

my father always wanted to be more important. he always wanted more. even though he was a Levite! and he was first cousins with Moses and Aaron and Miriam! but he was so jealous of them. my father was a Levite; he already had special things he was supposed to do. he even had special clothes! but that wasn’t enough for him. it was hard for him to not to be first in line.

I can see things like my older second cousin Miriam. s he could see things too. sometimes I would watch her and listen to her and I would wish she would teach me, teach me how to see, how to speak what I saw, like she did. some people say she was a prophetess.

שמות ט״ו:כ׳

(כ) וַתִּקַּח֩ מִרְיָ֨ם הַנְּבִיאָ֜ה אֲח֧וֹת אַהֲרֹ֛ן אֶת־הַתֹּ֖ף בְּיָדָ֑הּ וַתֵּצֶ֤אןָ כׇֽל־הַנָּשִׁים֙ אַחֲרֶ֔יהָ בְּתֻפִּ֖ים וּבִמְחֹלֹֽת׃

Exodus 15:20

(20) Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, picked up a hand-drum, and all the women went out after her in dance with hand-drums.

sometimes I stood nearby and listened to Miriam talking to the women, singing with the women. I loved hearing them sing together. when I heard that, I had the same special feeling I would get in the desert. a special together sort of feeling

that might sound weird to you, that I felt “together” with anything in the big desert. but I’ll tell you a secret: in the desert, I felt together with God!

when I first was old enough to go out into the desert every morning to gather manna for our family, out there in the desert, I felt so far away from everyone. but after a while, I started to feel like there was so much I was close to in the desert

I was far away, and close, too. it’s like a riddle.

and listen to this: that very day, when my father challenged Moses and Aaron, when Moses answered my father, Moses talked about my riddle! about being holy and drawing near. this is what Moses said to my father and his friends:

במדבר ט״ז:ה׳

(ה) וַיְדַבֵּ֨ר אֶל־קֹ֜רַח וְאֶֽל־כׇּל־עֲדָתוֹ֮ לֵאמֹר֒ בֹּ֠קֶר וְיֹדַ֨ע יהוה אֶת־אֲשֶׁר־ל֛וֹ וְאֶת־הַקָּד֖וֹשׁ וְהִקְרִ֣יב אֵלָ֑יו וְאֵ֛ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר יִבְחַר־בּ֖וֹ יַקְרִ֥יב אֵלָֽיו׃

Numbers 16:5

(5) Then he spoke to Korah and all his company, saying, “In the morning, GOD will make known who is to serve, and who is holy, by granting direct access—whoever is chosen will draw near to God.

I don’t think my father understood what Moses meant when he said that. because my father thought he was so special. I don’t think he was interested in being holy.

I’ll tell you what my father Korach didn’t understand: he didn’t understand that being holy means being able to be set apart, in order to draw near. it means being able to set your yourself aside, for the good of everybody. sometimes when you set yourself aside, you can draw closer to everyone else.

And especially to God.

It’s kind of like a riddle. It’s my riddle.

I figured it out first from listening to my cousin Miriam, and then during my long quiet mornings when I was gathering manna in the big big desert.

Being holy means: being special to God, being set apart. We’re set apart in order to draw close. That’s the riddle.

That’s what I figured out in the desert, with the dew on my feet and the manna on my fingertips.

We’re set apart in order to draw close. they tell me that modern Jews, when they pray, they step back three steps, and then they step forward three steps. when they step back, they are showing that they’re holy - set apart. when they step forward - they are loving God and drawing close to God.

it’s kind of like playing hide and seek with God. when you play hide and seek, and you’re the one who’s hiding… you really really want the other person to find you - right? and when you’re the one who’s seeking… you really really want to find your friend who’s hiding. right?

I loved those early mornings outside the camp gathering manna; it was very quiet, very still; a special time of day for me outside the camp, alone, touching the warm sand; drawing close to God, as I gathered what God had provided for us

and it’s true; it’s true, what they say: the manna did smell like coriander, like desert wildflowers, like the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten… like the way my mother smelled when she hugged me when I was scared

במדבר י״א:ז׳-ח׳

(ז) וְהַמָּ֕ן כִּזְרַע־גַּ֖ד ה֑וּא וְעֵינ֖וֹ כְּעֵ֥ין הַבְּדֹֽלַח׃ (ח) שָׁ֩טוּ֩ הָעָ֨ם וְלָֽקְט֜וּ וְטָחֲנ֣וּ בָרֵחַ֗יִם א֤וֹ דָכוּ֙ בַּמְּדֹכָ֔ה וּבִשְּׁלוּ֙ בַּפָּר֔וּר וְעָשׂ֥וּ אֹת֖וֹ עֻג֑וֹת וְהָיָ֣ה טַעְמ֔וֹ כְּטַ֖עַם לְשַׁ֥ד הַשָּֽׁמֶן׃

Numbers 11:7-8

(7) Now the manna was like coriander seed, and in color it was like bdellium. (8) The people would go about and gather it, grind it between millstones or pound it in a mortar, boil it in a pot, and make it into cakes. It tasted like rich cream.

that last morning, the morning it happened, I was gathering manna in the desert, outside the camp; my beautiful and comforting desert, that spacious temple where God lives and where I could draw close to God…

that last morning it was very very quiet. was it more quiet than usual? more beautiful than usual?

if I had known that it would be the last time I would ever see my parents, would I have drawn closer to God in a special way, as I slowly gathered the manna? would I have done anything differently? would I have added a special prayer of gratitude?

after that things seemed to happen very quickly. as I walked back into the camp I could see my father with his friends, all of them - commotion among the men - activity - incense pans - incense - fire - Moses - Aaron - commotion - more intensity

where is my mother? where are my brothers? where are my friends?

now what I smell, instead of the quiet coriander of the desert, the scent of wildflowers and savory stew of the manna... now I am smelling first the imperceptible scent of envy and fury and fear

where is my mother? where are my brothers?

and then: a roaring sound. the earth splitting open. flames leaping out. a frightening smell

במדבר ט״ז:ל״ב

(לב) וַתִּפְתַּ֤ח הָאָ֙רֶץ֙ אֶת־פִּ֔יהָ וַתִּבְלַ֥ע אֹתָ֖ם וְאֶת־בָּתֵּיהֶ֑ם וְאֵ֤ת כׇּל־הָאָדָם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר לְקֹ֔רַח וְאֵ֖ת כׇּל־הָרְכֽוּשׁ׃

Numbers 16:32

(32) and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up with their households, all Korah’s people and all their possessions.

in that last moment before the earth swallowed them I wondered:
why so much violence
why so much anger
why so much envy
why?

we learned from Moses that our God is a compassionate God full of mercy

שמות ל״ד:ו׳

(ו) וַיַּעֲבֹ֨ר יהוה ׀ עַל־פָּנָיו֮ וַיִּקְרָא֒ יהוה ׀ יהוה אֵ֥ל רַח֖וּם וְחַנּ֑וּן אֶ֥רֶךְ אַפַּ֖יִם וְרַב־חֶ֥סֶד וֶאֱמֶֽת׃

Exodus 34:6

(6) The ETERNAL passed before him and proclaimed: “GOD! GOD! a Deity compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness...

and that God wants us to be holy because God is holy

ויקרא כ׳:כ״ו

(כו) וִהְיִ֤יתֶם לִי֙ קְדֹשִׁ֔ים כִּ֥י קָד֖וֹשׁ אֲנִ֣י יהוה וָאַבְדִּ֥ל אֶתְכֶ֛ם מִן־הָֽעַמִּ֖ים לִהְי֥וֹת לִֽי׃

Leviticus 20:26

(26) You shall be holy to Me, for I GOD am holy, and I have set you apart from other peoples to be Mine.

...in that last moment before the earth swallowed them I wondered: could there have been another way?

במדבר ט״ז:כ״ו-ל״א

(כו) וַיְדַבֵּ֨ר אֶל־הָעֵדָ֜ה לֵאמֹ֗ר ס֣וּרוּ נָ֡א מֵעַל֩ אׇהֳלֵ֨י הָאֲנָשִׁ֤ים הָֽרְשָׁעִים֙ הָאֵ֔לֶּה וְאַֽל־תִּגְּע֖וּ בְּכׇל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר לָהֶ֑ם פֶּן־תִּסָּפ֖וּ בְּכׇל־חַטֹּאתָֽם׃ (כז) וַיֵּעָל֗וּ מֵעַ֧ל מִשְׁכַּן־קֹ֛רַח דָּתָ֥ן וַאֲבִירָ֖ם מִסָּבִ֑יב וְדָתָ֨ן וַאֲבִירָ֜ם יָצְא֣וּ נִצָּבִ֗ים פֶּ֚תַח אׇֽהֳלֵיהֶ֔ם וּנְשֵׁיהֶ֥ם וּבְנֵיהֶ֖ם וְטַפָּֽם׃ (כח) וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ מֹשֶׁה֒ בְּזֹאת֙ תֵּֽדְע֔וּן כִּֽי־יהוה שְׁלָחַ֔נִי לַעֲשׂ֕וֹת אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַֽמַּעֲשִׂ֖ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה כִּי־לֹ֖א מִלִּבִּֽי׃ (כט) אִם־כְּמ֤וֹת כׇּל־הָֽאָדָם֙ יְמֻת֣וּן אֵ֔לֶּה וּפְקֻדַּת֙ כׇּל־הָ֣אָדָ֔ם יִפָּקֵ֖ד עֲלֵיהֶ֑ם לֹ֥א יהוה שְׁלָחָֽנִי׃ (ל) וְאִם־בְּרִיאָ֞ה יִבְרָ֣א יהוה וּפָצְתָ֨ה הָאֲדָמָ֤ה אֶת־פִּ֙יהָ֙ וּבָלְעָ֤ה אֹתָם֙ וְאֶת־כׇּל־אֲשֶׁ֣ר לָהֶ֔ם וְיָרְד֥וּ חַיִּ֖ים שְׁאֹ֑לָה וִֽידַעְתֶּ֕ם כִּ֧י נִֽאֲצ֛וּ הָאֲנָשִׁ֥ים הָאֵ֖לֶּה אֶת־יהוה׃ (לא) וַֽיְהִי֙ כְּכַלֹּת֔וֹ לְדַבֵּ֕ר אֵ֥ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֖ים הָאֵ֑לֶּה וַתִּבָּקַ֥ע הָאֲדָמָ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר תַּחְתֵּיהֶֽם׃

Numbers 16:26-31

(26) He [Moses] addressed the community, saying, “Move away from the tents of these wicked men and touch nothing that belongs to them, lest you be wiped out for all their sins.”

(27) So they withdrew from about the abodes of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram.
Now Dathan and Abiram had come out and they stood at the entrance of their tents, with their wives, their adult children, and their little ones.

(28) And Moses said, “By this you shall know that it was GOD who sent me to do all these things; that they are not of my own devising:

(29) if these people’s death is that of all humankind, if their lot is humankind’s common fate, it was not GOD who sent me.

(30) But if GOD brings about something unheard-of, so that the ground opens its mouth and swallows them up with all that belongs to them, and they go down alive into Sheol, you shall know that those involved have spurned GOD.”

(31) Scarcely had he finished speaking all these words when the ground under them burst asunder...

in that last moment I wondered, and I wonder still: will we ever learn that drawing close to God can be as simple as gathering fine dew from the desert floor and smelling the sweet desert air?

that drawing close to God doesn’t happen through anger and fighting; it doesn’t happen through envy and violence …

why do grown-ups need to resort to violence? and sometimes they are so mean, and hurt people, even children. why?

to be a holy people there has to be a WE; and if there’s really a WE, then each of us could be safe in the WE; each of us could listen to God in our own way. we could be separate, and holy, and draw near, all together.

I think this is what God wants us to do. that’s what I think. God wants us to be separate, and holy, and draw near, together. but really, all people are one big kahal. so - are we really so separate? it's another riddle.

that’s what I wanted to tell you.

you still don’t know my name
but now you know my story

תהילים קל״ג:א׳

(א) שִׁ֥יר הַֽמַּעֲל֗וֹת לְדָ֫וִ֥ד הִנֵּ֣ה מַה־טּ֭וֹב וּמַה־נָּעִ֑ים שֶׁ֖בֶת אַחִ֣ים גַּם־יָֽחַד׃

Psalms 133:1

(1) A song of ascents. Of David.
How good and how pleasant it is that kindred dwell together.

Rabbi Anita Josefa Barzman MD Founder, micro-mishkan.net

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