Food/Sex in Rabbinic Litrature
Save
Copy
Add to Collection
Export to Google Docs
Shareרב כהנא על גנא תותיה פורייה דרב שמעיה דשח ושחק ועשה צרכיו אמר ליה דמי פומיה דאבא כדלא שריף תבשילא א"ל כהנא הכא את פוק דלאו אורח ארעא אמר לו תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך
On a similar note, the Gemara relates that Rav Kahana entered and lay beneath Rav’s bed. He heard Rav chatting and laughing with his wife, and seeing to his needs, i.e., having relations with her. Rav Kahana said to Rav: The mouth of Abba, Rav, is like one whom has never eaten a cooked dish, i.e., his behavior was lustful. Rav said to him: Kahana, you are here? Leave, as this is an undesirable mode of behavior. Rav Kahana said to him: It is Torah, and I must learn.
רבי אחא ברבי יאשיה אומר כל הצופה בנשים סופו בא לידי עבירה וכל המסתכל בעקבה של אשה הויין לו בנים שאינן מהוגנין אמר רב יוסף ובאשתו נדה אמר רבי שמעון בן לקיש עקבה דקתני במקום הטינופת שהוא מכוון כנגד העקב
Rabbi Aḥa, son of Rabbi Yoshiya, says: Anyone who watches women will ultimately come to sin, and anyone who looks at the heel of a woman will have indecent children as a punishment. Rav Yosef said: And this relates to all women, including his wife when she has the status of a menstruating woman. Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said: The heel of a woman that is mentioned is not the heel of the foot, but the place of uncleanliness, i.e., the genitalia, and it is called a heel as a euphemism, as it is situated opposite the heel.
אמר רבי יוחנן בן דהבאי ארבעה דברים סחו לי מלאכי השרת חיגרין מפני מה הויין מפני שהופכים את שולחנם אילמים מפני מה הויין מפני שמנשקים על אותו מקום חרשים מפני מה הויין מפני שמספרים בשעת תשמיש סומין מפני מה הויין מפני שמסתכלים באותו מקום
§ Rabbi Yoḥanan ben Dehavai said: The ministering angels told me four matters: For what reason do lame people come into existence? It is because their fathers overturn their tables, i.e., they engage in sexual intercourse in an atypical way. For what reason do mute people come into existence? It is because their fathers kiss that place of nakedness. For what reason do deaf people come into existence? It is because their parents converse while engaging in sexual intercourse. For what reason do blind people come into existence? It is because their fathers stare at that place.
ורמינהו שאלו את אימא שלום מפני מה
And the Gemara raises a contradiction: Imma Shalom, the wife of Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus, was asked: For what reason
בניך יפיפין ביותר אמרה להן אינו מספר עמי לא בתחלת הלילה ולא בסוף הלילה אלא בחצות הלילה וכשהוא מספר מגלה טפח ומכסה טפח ודומה עליו כמי שכפאו שד
are your children so beautiful? She said to them: My husband does not converse with me while engaging in sexual intercourse, neither at the beginning of the night nor at the end of the night, but rather at midnight. And when he converses with me while engaging in sexual intercourse, he reveals a handbreadth of my body and covers a handbreadth, and he covers himself up as though he were being coerced by a demon and is covering himself out of fear.
ואמרתי לו מה טעם ואמר לי כדי שלא אתן את עיני באשה אחרת ונמצאו בניו באין לידי ממזרות
And I said to my husband: What is the reason for this behavior? And he said to me: It is so that I will not set my eyes on another woman, i.e., think about another woman; if a man thinks about another woman during sexual intercourse with his wife, his children consequently come close to receiving a mamzer status, i.e., the nature of their souls is tantamount to that of a mamzer. Therefore I engage in sexual intercourse with you at an hour when there are no people in the street, and in this manner. In any event, it can be seen from her words that a Sage conversed with his wife while engaging in sexual intercourse with her.
לא קשיא הא במילי דתשמיש הא במילי אחרנייתא
The Gemara answers: This is not difficult. This permission to converse with her is with regard to matters of sexual intercourse, whereas that restriction of conversation is with regard to other matters that are not related to sexual intercourse.
אמר רבי יוחנן זו דברי יוחנן בן דהבאי אבל אמרו חכמים אין הלכה כיוחנן בן דהבאי אלא כל מה שאדם רוצה לעשות באשתו עושה משל לבשר הבא מבית הטבח רצה לאוכלו במלח אוכלו צלי אוכלו מבושל אוכלו שלוק אוכלו וכן דג הבא מבית הצייד
Rabbi Yoḥanan said: That is the statement of Yoḥanan ben Dehavai. However, the Rabbis said: The halakha is not in accordance with the opinion of Yoḥanan ben Dehavai. Rather, whatever a man wishes to do with his wife he may do. He may engage in sexual intercourse with her in any manner that he wishes, and need not concern himself with these restrictions. As an allegory, it is like meat that comes from the butcher. If he wants to eat it with salt, he may eat it that way. If he wants to eat it roasted, he may eat it roasted. If he wants to eat it cooked, he may eat it cooked. If he wants to eat it boiled, he may eat it boiled. And likewise with regard to fish that come from the fisherman.
ההיא דאתאי לקמיה דרבי אמרה לו רבי ערכתי לו שולחן והפכו אמר לה בתי תורה התירתך ואני מה אעשה ליך ההיא דאתאי לקמיה דרב אמרה לו רבי ערכתי לו שולחן והפכו אמר מאי שנא מן ביניתא
The Gemara relates: A certain woman, who came before Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi to complain about her husband, said to him: My teacher, I set him a table, using a euphemism to say that she lay before him during intimacy, and he turned it over. Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said to her: My daughter, the Torah permitted him to engage in sexual intercourse with you even in an atypical manner, and what can I do for you if he does so? Similarly, a certain woman who came before Rav said to him: My teacher, I set a table for him and he turned it over. He said to her: In what way is this case different from a fish [binnita] that one may eat any way he wishes?
ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם מכאן אמר רבי אל ישתה אדם בכוס זה ויתן עיניו בכוס אחר אמר רבינא לא נצרכא אלא דאפילו שתי נשיו
§ The verse states: “And that you not go about after your own heart” (Numbers 15:39). Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi said that it is derived from here that a man should not drink from this cup while setting his eyes on another cup, i.e., one should not engage in sexual intercourse with one woman while thinking about another woman. Ravina said: This statement is not necessary with regard to an unrelated woman. Rather, it is necessary only to state that even with regard to his own two wives, he should not engage in sexual intercourse with one while thinking about the other.
גופא המורדת על בעלה פוחתין לה מכתובתה שבעה דינרים בשבת רבי יהודה אומר שבעה טרפעיקין רבותינו חזרו ונמנו שיהו מכריזין עליה ארבע שבתות זו אחר זו ושולחין לה ב"ד הוי יודעת שאפי' כתובתיך מאה מנה הפסדת אחת לי ארוסה ונשואה אפילו נדה אפי' חולה ואפי' שומרת יבם
§ With regard to the matter itself: A woman who rebels against her husband is fined; we reduce her marriage contract by seven dinars each week, and Rabbi Yehuda says: Seven terapa’ikin. Our Sages went back and were counted again, meaning they voted and decided that instead of deducting a small amount from her marriage contract each week, they would make public announcements about her for four consecutive Shabbatot. And they decided that the court would send messengers to her to inform her: Be aware that even if your marriage contract is worth ten thousand dinars, you will lose it all if you continue your rebellion. If she does not retract her rebellion, she forfeits her entire marriage contract. With regard to this enactment, it is the same to me, meaning the halakha does not change, if she is a betrothed woman or a married woman, and even if she is a menstruating woman, and even if she is ill, and even if she is a widow awaiting her yavam to perform levirate marriage.
אמר ליה ר' חייא בר יוסף לשמואל נדה בת תשמיש היא אמר ליה אינו דומה מי שיש לו פת בסלו למי שאין לו פת בסלו
Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Yosef said to Shmuel: Is a menstruating woman fit to engage in conjugal relations? He said to him: One who has bread in his basket, i.e., one who knows that he will be able to engage in relations with his wife after her period of menstrual impurity ends, is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket.
מתני׳ המורדת על בעלה פוחתין לה מכתובתה שבעה דינרין בשבת ר' יהודה אומר שבעה טרפעיקין עד מתי הוא פוחת עד כנגד כתובתה ר' יוסי אומר לעולם הוא פוחת והולך עד שאם תפול לה ירושה ממקום אחר גובה הימנה וכן המורד על אשתו מוסיפין על כתובתה שלשה דינרין בשבת ר' יהודה אומר שלשה טרפעיקין:
MISHNA: A woman who rebels against her husband is fined; her marriage contract is reduced by seven dinars each week. Rabbi Yehuda says: Seven half-dinars [terapa’ikin] each week. Until when does he reduce her marriage contract? Until the reductions are equivalent to her marriage contract, i.e., until he no longer owes her any money, at which point he divorces her without any payment. Rabbi Yosei says: He can always continue to deduct from the sum, even beyond that which is owed to her due to her marriage contract, so that if she will receive an inheritance from another source, he can collect the extra amount from her. And similarly, if a man rebels against his wife, he is fined and an extra three dinars a week are added to her marriage contract. Rabbi Yehuda says: Three terapa’ikin.
גמ׳ מורדת ממאי רב הונא אמר מתשמיש המטה ר' יוסי ברבי חנינא אמר ממלאכה תנן וכן המורד על אשתו בשלמא למ"ד מתשמיש לחיי אלא למאן דאמר ממלאכה מי משועבד לה אין באומר איני זן ואיני מפרנס
GEMARA: The Gemara asks: Against what does she rebel; what is the nature of the rebellion discussed in the mishna? Rav Huna said: Against engaging in marital relations. Rabbi Yosei, son of Rabbi Ḥanina, said: Against the tasks she is obligated to perform for her husband. The Gemara clarifies this dispute. The mishna states: Similarly, if a man rebels against his wife. Granted, according to the one who says that the rebellion is against marital relations, it is well, as this type of rebellion can apply equally to a husband. However, according to the one who says that she rebels against performing tasks, is he subjugated to her to perform tasks? The Gemara answers: Yes, he is, as the mishna is discussing someone who says: I will not sustain and I will not support my wife.
והאמר רב האומר איני זן ואיני מפרנס יוציא ויתן כתובה ולאו לאמלוכי ביה בעי:
The Gemara asks: But didn’t Rav say: One who says: I will not sustain and I will not support my wife must immediately divorce her and give her the payment for her marriage contract? What relevance is there to a discussion of a weekly fine? The Gemara answers: Shouldn’t he be consulted to investigate whether he will retract his decision? In the interim, while the court discusses the issue with him and explains that he must divorce his wife if he does not retract his decision, he is fined by the addition of three dinars per week to her marriage contract.
מיתבי אחת לי ארוסה ונשואה ואפי' נדה ואפילו חולה ואפי' שומרת יבם
The Gemara raises an objection from a baraita with regard to a rebellious woman: It is the same to me, i.e., the same halakha applies, if the woman who rebelled is a betrothed woman, or a married woman, or even a menstruating woman, or even if she is ill, or even if she is a widow waiting for her yavam to perform levirate marriage.
(בשלמא למאן דאמר ממלאכה שפיר אלא למאן דאמר מתשמיש נדה בת תשמיש היא אמר לך אינו דומה מי שיש לו פת בסלו למי שאין לו
The Gemara discusses the baraita. Granted, according to the one who says that her rebelliousness is referring to performing tasks, it is well. However, according to the one who says that she rebels against engaging in marital relations, is a menstruating woman fit to engage in marital relations? She is not, and therefore there would be no significance to her refusal. The Gemara answers: The one who advocates that opinion could have said to you: One who has bread in his basket, i.e., one who has engaged in marital relations with his wife in the past, is not comparable to one who does not have bread in his basket. Since she declares her refusal to engage in marital relations, he suffers from this refusal even when she is menstruating or ill.
אמר רב יהודה אמר רב אנשי ירושלים אנשי שחץ היו אדם אומר לחברו במה סעדת היום בפת עמילה או בפת שאינה עמילה ביין גורדלי או
On the topic of the sins of Jerusalem and the abundance that existed before its destruction, Rav Yehuda said that Rav said: The people of Jerusalem were people of arrogance. They would couch their crude behavior in euphemisms. A person would say to another: On what did you dine today? Well-kneaded bread or bread that is not well-kneaded? On white wine or
ביין חרדלי במסב רחב או במסב קצר בחבר טוב או בחבר רע א"ר חסדא וכולן לזנות
on black wine? Sitting on a wide divan or on a narrow divan? With a good friend or a bad friend? And Rav Ḥisda said: And all these allude to promiscuity. These are all euphemisms for different types of women. Well-kneaded bread refers to a woman who is not a virgin; white wine refers to a fair-complexioned woman; a wide divan refers to a fat woman; a good friend refers to a good-looking woman.
(במדבר יא, ה) זכרנו את הדגה אשר נאכל במצרים חנם רב ושמואל חד אמר דגים וחד אמר עריות מאן דאמר דגים דכתיב נאכל ומאן דאמר עריות דכתיב חנם
The Gemara cites more verses that pertain to the same issue. Rav and Shmuel disagree with regard to the following verse: “We remember the fish which we ate in Egypt for nothing” (Numbers 11:5). One said: The verse is referring literally to fish. And one said: The verse is referring to incestuous relations that the Torah had not yet forbidden. The people cried once the Torah prohibited certain relatives to them. The Gemara explains: The one who said that the verse is referring to fish bases him explanation on the verse, as it is written “which we ate.” This means what they actually ate. And the one who said that the verse is referring to forbidden sexual relations also bases his explanation on the verse, as it is written “for nothing.” Certainly, the people did not actually eat fish for free.
ולמאן דאמר עריות הא כתיב נאכל לישנא מעליא נקט דכתיב (משלי ל, כ) אכלה ומחתה פיה ואמרה לא פעלתי און ולמאן דאמר דגים מאי חנם דהוו מייתין להו מהפקירא דאמר מר כשהיו ישראל שואבין מים הקב"ה מזמין להם בתוך המים דגים קטנים בכדיהן
The Gemara asks: And according to the one who said that it is referring to forbidden relations, but isn’t it written “which we ate”? The Gemara answers: The Torah employed a euphemistic expression. Eating is used as a euphemism for sexual relations, as it is written: “So is the way of an adulterous woman; she eats, and wipes her mouth, and says I have done no wickedness” (Proverbs 30:20). And according to the one who said it is referring to fish, what is the meaning of the phrase “for nothing”? The people brought the fish from the river, which was ownerless property, since the Egyptians obviously would not have given them free food. The Master said: When the Jews drew water from the river, the Holy One, Blessed be He, prepared little fish for them in the water. They swam into their jugs.
(ה) היה ר"מ אומר כשם שדעות במאכל כך דעות בנשים יש לך אדם שהזבוב עובר ע"ג כוסו מניחו ואינו טועמו זה חלק רע בנשים שנתן עיניו באשתו לגרשה יש לך אדם שהזבוב שוכן בתוך כוסו [זורקו] ואין שותהו כגון פפוס בן יהודה שנעל דלת בפני אשתו ויצא ויש לך אדם שהזבוב נופל בתוך כוסו [זורקו] ושותהו זו מדת כל אדם [שראה] את אשתו שמדברת עם שכניה ועם קרובותיה ומניחה יש לך אדם שהזבוב נופל לתוך תמחוי שלו [נוטלו] ומוצצו וזורקו ואוכל את מה שבתוכה זו מדת אדם רשע [שראה] את אשתו יוצאת וראשה פרוע יוצאת וצדדיה פרומין [גס בעבדיה לבה גס בשפחותיה יוצאה וטוה בשוק רוחצת] ומשחקת עם כל אדם מצוה לגרשה שנאמר (דברים כד) כי יקח איש אשה ובעלה ויצאה מביתו [וגו'] הכתוב קראו אחר שאינו בן זוגו של ראשון הראשון הוציאה מפני עבירה [זה] בא ונתקל בה [השני] אם זכה לשמים מוציאה מתחת ידו אם לאו לסוף [שקוברתו] שנאמר (שם) או כי ימות האיש האחרון [וגו'] כדאי האיש הזה למיתה [שאשה זו כנס לתוך ביתו] הנותן עיניו באשתו שתמות ויירשנה או שתמות וישא את אחותה לסוף שקוברתו וכן היא שנתנה עיניה בבעלה שימות ותנשא לאחר [לסוף] שקוברה.
(5) Rabbi Meir would say: Just as there are different attitudes in consumption of food, so are there different attitudes with regards to women. Some men, if a fly [merely] passes over his cup, he sets it aside and does not taste it. That [fly in the cup refers to] corrupted women, when he wishes to divorce his wife [but has not done it yet]. Some men, if a fly falls into his cup, he throws it out and does not drink it. And this is the trait of Papus ben Yehuda, who would lock [the door of the house] before his wife, and would leave. And there is a man where, if a fly falls in his cup, he throws [the fly] out and then drinks it. This is the trait of any man who sees her speak to her neighbors and relatives, and leaves her be. And there is a man where, if a fly falls into the plate, he crushes it and eats it. And this is the trait of a corrupted man who sees his wife go out with her head uncovered, her heart warmed for her servants and maidservants, and spins cloth in the marketplace, and [whose shirt is] open on both sides, and bathes and plays around with the men. This is the command from the Torah to divorce her, for it is stated [Deuteronomy 24:1-2] "[When a man takes a wife, and marries her, then it comes to pass, if she find no favor in his eyes,] because he hath found some unseemly thing in her, [that he writes her a bill of divorce, and gives it in her hand,] and sends her out of his house... [and she departs out of his house, and goes and becomes another man's wife.]" The text calls him 'another', implying that he is not of similar constitution to the first, [for] the first one sent her away because of sin, and the second came and was lenient toward her. If he merits, the heavens will cause him to send her away from his possession, and if not, she will ultimately bury him, as it says [Deuteronomy 24:2] "or if the latter man dies." It is appropriate for this [type of] man dies, because of the woman he brought into his household. One who wishes his wife to die [so he can] inherit her, or that she should die so he can marry her sister, she will ultimately bury him. Similarly, if she wishes he would die so she can marry another, he will bury her.
