Parashat Behaalotekha 5786: Ye of Imperfect Faith
How does Rabbi Akiva's perspective on the imperfection of Moshe's faith impact your understanding of Moshe?

(כא) וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ מֹשֶׁה֒ שֵׁשׁ־מֵא֥וֹת אֶ֙לֶף֙ רַגְלִ֔י הָעָ֕ם אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָנֹכִ֖י בְּקִרְבּ֑וֹ וְאַתָּ֣ה אָמַ֗רְתָּ בָּשָׂר֙ אֶתֵּ֣ן לָהֶ֔ם וְאָכְל֖וּ חֹ֥דֶשׁ יָמִֽים׃ (כב) הֲצֹ֧אן וּבָקָ֛ר יִשָּׁחֵ֥ט לָהֶ֖ם וּמָצָ֣א לָהֶ֑ם אִ֣ם אֶֽת־כׇּל־דְּגֵ֥י הַיָּ֛ם יֵאָסֵ֥ף לָהֶ֖ם וּמָצָ֥א לָהֶֽם׃ {פ}

(21) But Moses said, “The people who are with me number six hundred thousand foot soldiers [alone]; yet You say, ‘I will give them enough meat to eat for a whole month.’ (22) Could enough flocks and herds be slaughtered to suffice them? Or could all the fish of the sea be gathered for them to suffice them?”

(ד) דרש ר"ע (במדבר י״א:כ״ב) הצאן ובקר ישחט להם [ומצא להם] וכי מספיק להם [אם] את כל דגי הים [וגו'] וכי הוא מספיק להם כגון שנא' (ויקרא י״ב:ח׳) ואם לא תמצא ידה די שה וכי איזה קשה זו או (במדבר כא) שמעו נא המורים הוי אומר זו קשה [יתר] משמעו נא המורים אלא שמחלל שם שמים בסתר מחסכין עליו בגלוי נפרעין ממנו [זה] שבסתר חיסך עליו המקום רשב"א אומר אף [זו] שבסתר לא חיסך עליו המקום שנא' (במדבר י״א:כ״ג) עתה תראה היקרך דברי אם לא ואני אומר ח"ו שתעלה על דעתו של צדיק זה שיאמר אין המקום מספיק לנו ולבהמתינו אפשר למי שנאמר בו (במדבר י״ב:ו׳-ז׳) לא כן עבדי משה וגו' תעלה על דעתו שיאמר אין המקום מספיק לנו ולבהמתינו והלא כשהיו ישראל במצרים [נילוס] נהר [מספיק להם דגים ולמצרים בהמת מצרים מספקת] להם ולמצרים אלא לענין שנא' (במדבר י״א:י״ט) לא יום אחד תאכלון וגו' עד חדש ימים אמר משה לפני הקב"ה [רבש"ע] כך הגון להם שתתן להם ותמיתם אומרים לאדם טול ככר ורד לשאול אומרים לחמור טול כור שעורין ונחתוך את ראשך [יהיו] אומרים עלי [ולך אין בשרם] מוצאת אמר לו וכי הגון להם שיאמרו אין המקום מספיק לנו ולבהמתינו אלא יאבד הן ואלף כיוצא בהן ולא תהא ידי קצרה לפני אפילו שעה אחת שנאמר (שם) ויאמר יהוה אל משה היד יהוה תקצר וגו' ר"ג בנו של ר' יהודה הנשיא אומר אי אפשר לעמוד על [תיפלתם] אם תתן להם בשר [בהמה] גסה יאמרו בשר בהמה דקה בקשנו תתן בשר בהמה דקה יאמרו בשר חיה ועוף אנו מבקשים אם תתן בשר חיה ועופות יאמרו בשר דגים וחגבים אנו מבקשים שנאמר (שם) הצאן ובקר ישחט להם השיבתו רוח הקדש (שם) עתה תראה היקרך דברי אם לא ורואה אני את דברי מדברי ר"ע.

(4) Rabbi Akiva expounded (Num. 11:22), "Are there flocks and herds to be slaughtered for them, u'matza (וּמָצָ֥א) for them?" [What is the meaning of "u'matza"?] Would it really suffice for them? "Or are there all the fish of the sea [to be gathered for them u'matza for them]?" [Here too, u'matza means,] would it really suffice for them? For example, as it says (Lev. 12:8), "And if her means do not suffice (tim'tzah) for a sheep[, she shall take two turtledoves or two young pigeons]." And what was worse, this (i.e., "Are there [enough] flocks?") or (Num. 20:10), "Hear now, you rebels!"*In other words, it appears a more severe transgression for Moses to question whether God could provide enough meat than Moses's castigating the people in the episode with the rock, yet he was punished for the latter but not the former. Certainly this utterance was worse than "Hear now, you rebels!" Rather, when one desecrates the Name of the Heavens privately, they spare him, but [when one desecrates God] in public, they exact punishment upon him. This (i.e., the first episode), which was in private, the Place spared him. Rabbi Shimon ben Elazar says, even this [episode] which occurred in private, the Place did not spare him, as it is said (Num. 11:23), "Now you will see whether my word comes to pass, or not." And I say, God forbid that it would enter the mind of that righteous man, that he would say, "The Place does not suffice for us and for our livestock." Is it possible for he about whom it is said (Num. 12:6-7), "Not so my servant, Moses[, in all my house he is trusted]," that it would enter his mind to say, "The Place does not suffice for us and for our livestock"? And moreover, when the Children of Israel were in Egypt, did the Nile River really have [enough] fish to suffice both for them and for the Egyptians (see Num. 11:5), and were there really [enough] livestock in Egypt to suffice both for them and for the Egyptians? Rather, this only refers to the matter, as it is said (Num. 11:19-20), "Not [just] for one day will you eat it, etc., but [rather] for a month of days...." Said Moses before the Holy One Blessed be He, "Master of the Universe, is it fitting that you give [all this] to them and then kill them? Do we say to a person, 'Take this loaf of bread and descend to Sheol?' Do we say to a donkey, 'Take this kor of barley and then we will chop off your head?' For they should not say about me and about you, "The meat did not suffice (motzeit)."*In other words, that God could not sustain them, so He killed them before the limits of His power were exposed. Alternatively, "No good news goes out (motzeit) from them" (אֵין־בְּשׂוֹרָ֥ה מֹצֵֽאת) (2 Sam. 18:22) (see MS Erfurt, Minchat Bikkurim, Lieberman). He said to him, "And is it fitting for them to say, 'The Place does not have enough to give us and our livestock?' Rather, those [who said this] should perish and a thousand more like them. But do not shorten your hand before me for even an hour, as it is said (Num. 11:23), "And God said to Moses, is the hand of God too short, etc.?" Rabban Gamaliel the son of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi says, "It is impossible to stand against their frivolous ways. If you give them the meat of large livestock, they will say, 'We asked for the meat of small livestock!' If you give them the meat of small livestock, they will say 'We asked for the meat of wild animals and poultry!' If you give them the the meat of a wild animals and poultry, they will say, We asked for the flesh of fish and locusts!'" As it is said, "Are there flocks and herds to be slaughtered for them?" Whereupon the Holy Spirit answered him, "Now you will see whether my word comes to pass, or not." And I prefer my words to the words of Rabbi Akiva.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, Heavenly Torah: As Refracted Through the Generations, 184-187 (ed. Gordon Tucker):
"In the school of Rabbi Akiva they believed that all is in the hands of Heaven. The Torah in all of its details, is heavenly, and the prophet is nought but a vessel to receive its inspiration…In the school of Rabbi Akiva it was taught that the Israelites were deficient in faith, and that even at moments beyond conception, such as the splitting of the Sea of Reeds, or the standing at Mount Sinai, they did not have full-hearted faith…Rabbi Akiva was a man of various temperaments. He extolled the potential of humanity, while judging actual human achievement harshly…Rabbi Akiva even went so far as to say that Moses himself did not possess perfect faith. At times he [Rabbi Akiva] spoke as if he [Moses] did not believe that God could provide the people in the wilderness with their needs."
James Fowler, Stages of Faith:
"Doubt and struggle aren’t necessarily [an indication of] rejecting one’s faith, but perhaps longing for a more intimate relationship with the Holy."
Sharon Daloz Parks, Big Questions, Worthy Dreams:
"It takes courage to acknowledge doubt and to wrestle with your beliefs. It’s much easier to settle for a fierce unquestioned belief…[Doubt presents the opportunity] to step into a larger faith, a more adequate faith, and a more spacious and profound way of seeing."