Parashat Vayigash 5785: Silence from Shame
Pretend you are one of Joseph’s brothers. What is the first thing that goes through your mind immediately after Joseph reveals himself to you?

(ג) וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יוֹסֵ֤ף אֶל־אֶחָיו֙ אֲנִ֣י יוֹסֵ֔ף הַע֥וֹד אָבִ֖י חָ֑י וְלֹֽא־יָכְל֤וּ אֶחָיו֙ לַעֲנ֣וֹת אֹת֔וֹ כִּ֥י נִבְהֲל֖וּ מִפָּנָֽיו׃

(3) Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” But his brothers could not answer him, so dumfounded were they on account of him.

1. Niv’halu M’Panav
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נבהלו מפניו. מִפְּנֵי הַבּוּשָׁה:

נבהלו מפניו [FOR] THEY WERE AMAZED AT HIS PRESENCE — out of shame.

כי נבהלו מפניו יראו ודאגו על אשר עשו לו.

כי נבהלו מפניו, “for they were frightened of him.” They were afraid of what he might do to them as reprisals for what they had done to him.

נִבְהֲלוּ. לְפִי שֶׁמְּכָרוּהוּ, בּוֹשׁוּ וְנִבְהֲלוּ.

They were dumbfounded, remembering that they had sold him and now being utterly ashamed, unable to face him.

ולא יכלו אחיו לענות אותו כי נבהלו מפניו. לבשם חרדה ואשתקל מלולם מפני שמכרו אותו לעבד והיו רואים אותו כמו מלך, ועוד נבהלו כי יראו לנפשם שמא יגמלם רעה, וכענין שכתוב (שעיה יג) ונבהלו צירים וחבלים יאחזון.

ולא יכלו אחיו לענות אותו כי נבהלו מפניו, “his brothers were not able to answer him as they had become frightened of him.” They were dumbstruck realizing that they had sold him into slavery and now he wielded the authority of a king. They were also scared that he would take revenge on them now. The expression נבהלו occurs in that sense in Isaiah 13,8 ונבהלו צירים וחבלים יאחזון, “And, overcome by terror, they shall be seized by pangs and throes.”

בפסוק ולא יכלו אחיו כו' כי נבהלו כו' אני יוסף אחיכם אשר מכרתם אותי כו'. וקשה כי בזה הוסיף עוד לבייש אותם בהזכיר את מכירתם אותו. אך בודאי השבטים הרגישו אז קדושת יוסף הצדיק. וז"ש נבהלו מפניו דייקא. והשיב להם יוסף כי בא למדריגה זו על ידי מכירתם אותו למצרים ושהם גורמים בצדקתו. ובזה סר מהם הצער אשר חשבו כי אם היה אצל אביו היה גדול בצדקו יותר אבל לא כן הי' כנ"ל.

On the pasuk (Bereishit 45:3-4), “And his brothers could not answer him because they were afraid of him...I am Yosef your brother whom you sold to Mitzrayim,” there is a difficulty. If Yosef was trying to console them, why did he mention the sale, which would embarrass them more? However, there was a deeper consolation here. The brothers definitely felt Yosef's holiness, as indicated by their fear of his countenance. Yosef was telling them that he reached this high level of righteousness because they sold him to Mitzrayim. This realization alleviated their guilt, as they thought he would have been greater had he stayed with their father, but this was not the case at all.

2. Silence and Shame

רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר כִּי מָטֵי לְהַאי קְרָא, בָּכֵי: ״וְלֹא יָכְלוּ אֶחָיו לַעֲנוֹת אֹתוֹ כִּי נִבְהֲלוּ מִפָּנָיו״, וּמָה תּוֹכֵחָה שֶׁל בָּשָׂר וָדָם כָּךְ, תּוֹכֵחָה שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא — עַל אַחַת כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה. רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר כִּי מָטֵי לְהַאי קְרָא, בָּכֵי: ״וַיֹּאמֶר שְׁמוּאֵל אֶל שָׁאוּל לָמָּה הִרְגַּזְתַּנִי לְהַעֲלוֹת אוֹתִי״, וּמָה שְׁמוּאֵל הַצַּדִּיק הָיָה מִתְיָירֵא מִן הַדִּין, אָנוּ — עַל אַחַת כַּמָּה וְכַמָּה!

The Gemara similarly relates: When Rabbi Elazar reached this verse, he cried: “And his brethren could not answer him, for they were affrighted at his presence” (Genesis 45:3). He said, in explanation of his emotional reaction: If the rebuke of a man of flesh and blood was such that the brothers were unable to respond, when it comes to the rebuke of the Holy One, Blessed be He, all the more so. When Rabbi Elazar reached this verse, he cried: “And Samuel said to Saul: Why have you disquieted me, to bring me up” (I Samuel 28:15). He said: If Samuel the righteous was afraid of judgment when he was raised by necromancy, as he thought he was being summoned for a Divine judgment, all the more so that we should be afraid.

Amos Harel and Yael Friedson, “I Asked Him How He Isn’t Ashamed,” Haaretz, 29 November 2023
“Sinwar was with us three to four days after we arrived. I asked him how he is not ashamed to do such a thing to people who have supported peace all these years,” [Yoheved] Lifshitz told the Hebrew-language Davar newspaper, as she demonstrated in Tel Aviv for the return of the rest of the hostages on Tuesday evening. He didn’t answer. He was silent.”